French secularism pushed me into full practice of my Catholic faith.
I moved to France eleven years ago. At the time, I spoke no French. Initially, I met most people through my husband, who is French. Then I joined an association that was supposed to exist to welcome newcomers to the area, and it turned out to be anything but welcoming. Things always began well, but as soon as people found out I was the kind of Catholic who actually went to Mass every Sunday, either they distanced themselves from me or they actually attacked me for it. At the time I did not pray outside of Mass, I did not go to confession, and I behaved in a lot of ways that went against Church teaching. So I was hardly devout, and I wasn’t shoving my faith down people’s throats. It was just easy to come after me for merely being a church-going Catholic. One woman pretended to be my friend so she could parade me in front of her real friends and they could laugh at me or criticize the Church then dare me to defend it, something I was ill-equipped to do at the time (even now, I often have trouble doing so).
I eventually grew tired of this so I pulled back and ultimately found myself with no friends at all after four years of French residency. What I did have, though, was time. I found that I could listen to EWTN Radio online, and they had
Life is Worth Living on every weekday at lunchtime, so I started listening to this while I ate (Archbishop Sheen is a personal hero of my mother’s). Sometimes I would forget to shut the stream off after the half hour program was finished, so I also listened to Mother Angelica pray the rosary. After a while, I deliberately left the broadcast running and prayed along with her and the nuns every day. This led to reading the Bible daily, which led to expanded daily prayer through the addition of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and the Chaplet of St. Michael, which led to daily meditations and the reading of other faith classics (early Church Fathers,
Diary of St. Faustina,
Lives of the Saints, etc.) I couldn’t get enough.
By this time, my husband and I had moved twice so I had to change parishes twice. Then my current parish changed pastors. The new pastor was one of the coldest, most unapproachable priests I have ever seen. He rapidly gained a reputation among some of the parishioners for being impatient, harsh and too rigid. Eighteen months would pass before he and I would even speak. During this time, I realized that what was mistaken for excessive strictness was in fact…orthodoxy.
My French had improved to the point that I could tell his beautiful homilies are full of truth and challenged us, dared us to fully embrace Church teaching. At that point, I knew I had to end the silence between us. (That is a story all unto itself that I won’t bore you with
) Since doing so, I have come under his tutelage. By following his advice, I now pray more than ever, adore the Blessed Sacrament weekly for two hours at a time, and attend Mass six days per week. I am preparing to confess every month in French instead of every three months in English (my native tongue) as I do now. And as a bonus, I have found the image my pastor projects is not the reality of who he is - a kind, sensitive, thoughtful, caring, warm and even charming priest. His love for God runs deep and is extraordinarily pure. He has been blessed with great intelligence and is completely faithful to the Magisterium whether the parishioners like it or not. When it comes to Church teaching, he stands his ground no matter what. I always come away from our discussions enriched in my faith and fortified in my convictions. Of course he has his faults, but that I am a practicing Catholic today is due in no small part to the example he provides for me by totally abandoning himself to the Lord.
