What exactly constitutes as scandal?

[jenlovesyu]

I went in for an interview today in order to start getting involved with ministries like liturgical and youth. Because I am pregnant and unmarried, the religious director said it probably is not a prudent idea to allow me to be involved with liturgical things such as a Eucharistic minister since it would cause scandal. I am not trying to stir up an argument or go against what the religious director said. I certainly don’t want to cause scandal, I just felt a little ashamed and embarassed when she told me that.

I am also a little confused now as to what is scandal and what is not. I thought that something was only scandalous if someone was continuing to live in sin. Obviously I committed a grave sin but just because I am carrying a child doesn’t mean I am continuing to live in sin myself. Can any of you elaborate on this concept for me?

 

[SMHW]

I went in for an interview today in order to start getting involved with ministries like liturgical and youth. Because I am pregnant and unmarried, the religious director said it probably is not a prudent idea to allow me to be involved with liturgical things such as a Eucharistic minister since it would cause scandal. I am not trying to stir up an argument or go against what the religious director said. I certainly don’t want to cause scandal, I just felt a little ashamed and embarassed when she told me that.

I am also a little confused now as to what is scandal and what is not. I thought that something was only scandalous if someone was continuing to live in sin. Obviously I committed a grave sin but just because I am carrying a child doesn’t mean I am continuing to live in sin myself. Can any of you elaborate on this concept for me?

Scandal has as much to do with the public appearance or impression of sin as it does with sin itself. Pregnancy is a very visible reminder of your past behavior while the way you conduct yourself now is pretty much private. Your religious director is evidently concerned that having you in a liturgical ministry would be giving tacit approval to those who engage in sexual activity when they are not married. Understand that something that isn’t a sin can be scandalous if people THINK it implies sin.

Now in your case it would be people who are casually familiar with you that the parish is concerned about. People who don’t know you at all have no idea whether or not you are married. People who know you well, know you have changed. But people who just know you are that unmarried person who is having a baby may wonder about both you and the parish.

But understand that tune will probably take care of your situation. You might need to wait a year or two however.

 

[Corki]

I went in for an interview today in order to start getting involved with ministries like liturgical and youth. Because I am pregnant and unmarried, the religious director said it probably is not a prudent idea to allow me to be involved with liturgical things such as a Eucharistic minister since it would cause scandal. I am not trying to stir up an argument or go against what the religious director said. I certainly don’t want to cause scandal, I just felt a little ashamed and embarassed when she told me that.

I am also a little confused now as to what is scandal and what is not. I thought that something was only scandalous if someone was continuing to live in sin. Obviously I committed a grave sin but just because I am carrying a child doesn’t mean I am continuing to live in sin myself. Can any of you elaborate on this concept for me?

Congratulations on your upcoming bundle of joy and thank you for trying to get involved in the ministries at your parish.

The fact is, the terminology is a bit confusing. There are things that are scandalous by the common definition. Continuing to live in sin would definately be one of those. Being pregnant while not married is not necessarily scandalous.

But then there is the ‘sin of scandal’. That means that an action might lead others, especially the innocent, into sin. What the director may have meant was that if the parish appointed you to a public position it might be interpreted by others, especially the youth, as approving of premarital sex. (It wouldn’t be you sinning, by the way, but whoever was seen as endorsing).

If you got into the position of being unmarried and pregnant by way of some sin (such as premarital sex) then shame is a good thing. But shame for your past actions, not for your current position. And hopefully the director had this conversation with you in private and did not embarass you in front of others.

May I make a suggestion (really two)? With a new baby on the way, it might not be the best time to take on a new ministry. You will definately have your hands full soon. Maybe you can help “behind the scenes” until the baby comes?

Another possibility, if you feel comfortable going back to the director, is to look into helping specifically with the teens and their morality education. I could see you being a great example both of what “not to do” and what “to do” if you slip. In a small group rather than a public ministry, this might be a great gift to the parish. If your parish has a Respect Life group or a Gabriels Ministry, you could be a great witness there too.

Good luck.

 

[diggerdomer]

I went in for an interview today in order to start getting involved with ministries like liturgical and youth. Because I am pregnant and unmarried, the religious director said it probably is not a prudent idea to allow me to be involved with liturgical things such as a Eucharistic minister since it would cause scandal. I am not trying to stir up an argument or go against what the religious director said. I certainly don’t want to cause scandal, I just felt a little ashamed and embarassed when she told me that.

I am also a little confused now as to what is scandal and what is not. I thought that something was only scandalous if someone was continuing to live in sin. Obviously I committed a grave sin but just because I am carrying a child doesn’t mean I am continuing to live in sin myself. Can any of you elaborate on this concept for me?

Scandal is pretty subjective, often, imho.

Sorry for your troubles engaging in ministry. Best wishes.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Scandal is something that could damage others’ faith or might cause them to sin.

 

[Timothysis]

Scandal is pretty subjective, often, imho.

Sorry for your troubles engaging in ministry. Best wishes.

Ditto. The notion of “scandal” is pretty much meaningless because, like diggerdomer said, it is often very subjective. I’ve never understood this notion of being held responsible for something because others came to an erroneous conclusion about a situation. Some here have maintained that it is scandalous for someone to go to Mass but not receive communion. Yet, we know that one should not go to communion if not properly disposed. If people kept their noses in their own business we wouldn’t have to worry about such things.

I’m sorry you are having to deal with these attitudes at what must be a difficult time in your life. As a poster above mentioned, your hands are going to be very full soon so perhaps you can postpone participating in any church ministries until baby is a little older. Good luck!