What happens in protestant weddings?

[Julianna]

Having grown up in an Italian Catholic/Irish Catholic lifestyle, my first Protestant wedding was at a Presbyterian Church. My husband and I (we were newlyweds ourselves) attended. The service was short and sweet, we then went through a breezeway to a large room with chairs lined around each wall and a table with a punch bowl, nuts, mints, finger sandwiches, etc., and the wedding cake.

We (silly us) assumed they were having some sort of heavy hors doerves (sp)…and the big space in the middle was for dancing, and we assumed the band was late, or the DJ got lost. Again, silly us. So when we caught up with bride as she left her Aunt Helen balancing a punch cup and sandwich plate on her lap…I asked her “hey, Patty, what time does the band get here, and is there a cash bar?” She looked at me like I had a 3rd eye in the middle of my forehead. She said, “oh, there is no music, and no alcohol”. Wow! Was I embarrassed. The next thing I knew she was standing beside her new husband and they were cutting the cake. OH, I guess it’s over now…she tossed the bouquet…(no garter toss…I didn’t even ask)…and off they went. As my husband and I proceeded to our car…I noticed that several of groomsman were noticably absent during the “reception”…that is because they were standing all together at the back of a car in the parking lot, with the trunk “slightly” open, drinking beer out of a cooler.

My hubby and I looked at each other…“Yep, thank God we’re Catholic”

 

[envchemist]

That was too funny–I had a huge laugh and then had to read that one out loud to explain why! Being a convert, my opinion is I totally love a Catholic wedding…but all those sit down dinners are expensive. We have 2 20-something daughters and one of them is seriously dating a practicing Catholic. I do have the wine and beer taken care of though–as we homebrew…but the rest of it…it’s a little scary. Maybe we can just settle for the protestant reception with a little Catholic alcohol!

Well, here is my experience:

First off, my husband and I are devout, cradle Catholics. My husband has a very good friend who is a fellow black belt and also happens to be protestant (Church of Christ, the smallest of about three different kinds of CofC in our town of 40,000). Anyway, it came as a surprise (to me, anyway) that this young man asked my husband to be his best man. They are a very strict and very conservative denomination, not given to much hobnobbing with other Christians. So that was how we came to be involved very closely with this wedding. Which was held on April 8,… 2006.

Don’t reach for your calendars. It was on Holy Saturday of last year.

Well, we were in a bit of a quandary, resolved by my BIL (the priest), who, after ascertaining that the couple were entering a valid marriage; that nothing more than handing the groom the rings and signing the license would be required of my husband (i.e., no communion or anything like that); and that the reception was going to be just a sit-down dinner with no music or dancing, said my husband could accept this honor (and believe me, if you knew this young man, you would also see it would be an honor to be asked to be his best man.)

The actual problem came on the night before the wedding. The rehearsal dinner.

On Good Friday.

Now these folks are transplanted Texans (from Lubbock, no less). Texas dinners, by custom and by some obscure, but no doubt written-in-stone, rule are usually barbecue (I’m a transplanted Texan myself, so I know this is true !) Well, maybe things are different on other planets, but around here, BBQ does NOT usually mean fish or any other kind of meatless entree. So in addition to the best man telling the groom to put off the rehearsal to a later time (because we were attending the Good Friday services), he also had to tell him that we meant no offense but we would not be able to partake of any meat during the rehearsal dinner because, as Catholics, we were obliged to fast and abstain on Good Friday (only he and his immediate family and his fiancee knew we were Catholic.)

It is a testament to my husband’s and this young man’s friendship that they were still friends at this point (although Sam–our friend–was probably wondering why in the world he asked this Catholic to be his best man ), and there we were on Good Friday, in the company of approximately 60 CofC Christians, preparing to eat only the coleslaw and the vegetarian beans, three Catholics MAKING THE SIGN OF THE CROSS before grace.

We blew our cover.

Anyway, the wedding itself was quite beautiful, about 20 minutes long. The groom’s brother and grandfather and the bride’s sister played the music (not “Here Comes the Bride”) and the family’s pastor (minister, whatever he’s called) read some Scripture and talked about Christian marriage. Then he asked for objections (there were none !) and then he asked who gave the bride, then he had the couple hold hands and repeat their vows (she had to “love, honor and obey”, he had to “love, honor and cherish”, which raised a few eyebrows among the guests who thought those words were only uttered in the movies), exchange rings and kiss.

Everybody say “Awwwwww!”:clapping: Especially since BOTH the bride and groom were crying. It was very emotional. Then the couple walked back down the aisle and to the nearby reception hall (side note: this wedding did NOT take place in a church, but in a mountain retreat. There was a recreation room where the wedding was held, then a reception hall with a kitchen where the dinner was served up. And it was COLD! It had snowed the night before!) Anyway, that was only about the second Protestant wedding we’d ever attended (one the year before had been at an Assembly of God church… again, 20 minutes and we were outta there!)

Very nice, but I’m so glad we had a Catholic wedding with a nuptial Mass. I’ve wondered often if we’d known these friends back then if they would have even attended our wedding, let alone participated in it. They’re very quick to invite others to their services, but very leery of attending others’.

 

[envchemist]

Sounds like a delightful wedding, but I bet that you pledged your “troth” (betrothal, pledged fidelity), though “trough” is an interesting mental image

I saw this in Hartsville SC in a Baptist wedding. It was pronounced just like a horses trough. I had to elbow the husband to get him to quit giggling…

 

[THutch04]

I’ve been to Baptist as well as Methodist weddings.

They basically followed the same format as a Catholic wedding outside of Mass. Except some of the couples chose to write their own vows, or secular readings and/or music were chosen in addition to Scripture passages and sacred music.

The one Baptist wedding I went to, they played Schubert’s Ave Maria at the reception. I NEVER thought I would hear Ave Maria played among Baptists! Of course, I don’t remember now if it was the original German lieder, or if it was the actual Hail Mary prayer.

 

[jwashu]

Sounds like a delightful wedding, but I bet that you pledged your “troth” (betrothal, pledged fidelity), though “trough” is an interesting mental image

Good catch… I knew I was typing too fast and should have used spell check.

 

[CB_Catholic]

Well, I’ve been to Protestant weddings, Catholic weddings (including mine and my daughter’s), but I have to say the Orthodox have everyone beat! The atmosphere, the mystery, the Crowning, the prayers–all so beautiful. And then–the party!!!

My husband’s friend married a Ukranian (I believe) Orthodox girl, and the bride and family and the wedding party walked to the church accompanied by musicians. Then the lovely ceremony, and the elaborate reception. I can’t remember all the details after all these years, but it seemed the whole day was one big joyous celebration.

My niece married an Armenian boy, and at one point the bride and groom had to stand in front of the priest, foreheads touching, looking into each others eyes for what seemed like forever, while the priest prayed and prayed. I got the idea it was some sort of bonding between the two. Of course they were Crowned, and there was plenty of praying. The ceremony was longer than a Nuptial Mass. Then, as I said, the party began, and went on and on…

I want to go to another Orthodox wedding!!

 

[JPatton]

My wedding went like this -

Bride walks in to music (secular)

Pastor speaks for a few minutes

Band plays/sings two worship songs

Pastor speaks again (this time a little longer) and the elders of the church gather around us, lay hands on us and pray over us

Pastor speaks again and we recite our own written vows

Pastor pronounces us husband and wife and we walk out of the sanctuary to bagpipes

We gather in the main lobby room and great our guests

Then it’s off the the reception for some fun

Best day of my life!

Jamie