mschoir01:
I think Phyllis is off on this one. The scourge of divorce has been visited on too many children, but far too many fathers abdicate their responsibility and move on. The article carps about the violence against women act and how many tax dollars it takes, but compared to the rest of the federal budget, it’s paltry. I don’t think all divorcing couples must resort to perjury or filing false accusations and in personal experience (others - friends and relatives), men are just as liable to use false accusations of abuse in order to get the upper hand in the proceedings and even beyond. Men can be just as grasping and petty as the meanest among us and they tend to be able to afford better representation. I think if we looked at the statistics, we would find that a man who seeks custody is successful most of the time. Many just don’t bother.
Ms. Schlafly is concerned with the rich keeping their riches, not with the welfare of children.
I don’t think the statistics on spousal abuse would support your statement; the great majority of reported spousal abuse cases are cases of violence by men. Given the relatively few cases where abuse is caused by women, there is a tremendous reluctance to even report the actual cases, and almost no reason to make a false report.
further, most domestic relations attorneys won’t even take a custody case representing the husband where he has already moved out of the family home, and he most often has moved out because the wife has filed and gotten a restraining order (for which she generally does not even have to appear in order to obtain - they are achieved by affidavit); so he moves out to comply with the order, and the judge couldn’t care less about a “she said he said” argument of whether there was validity to the restraining order or not, so he is not going to revoke the order, or order her out and him back in. At that point, the father has lost custody. The next blow is that he has extremely limited access to his children.
Given the fact that most men are not overly adept in dealing with their emotions, and he is somewhere in the black hole called depression, fobidden to see his children except for the grand total of 96 hours a month (that’s every other weekend to you who don’t do math real well) and he has been reduced to the “abandoning parent” role by the children, or to some sort of visiting toy and joy miracle worker, or worse yet, he has kids on his hands who are an emotional basket case (and remember how good he is at handling his own emotions - now how is he going to handle the kids’?) and then we wonder why he can’t stand the pain, and avoids or just gives up.
Or the kids’ mother gets a new flame, and she is having the little ones call him “dad”; but the real father, who has been emotionally castrated already, gets a new dose of the sociologists pipe dream that divorce is going to “releave the stress” on the kids and that everyone will be happier after the divorce…
And then we wonder why dads bug out? Could it be that when she filed, kicked him out, got the child support and listened to all her girlfriends say what a (put your own euphamism here) he was, and how she’ll be better off without him, that she was setting up the situation?
Nah, couldn’t be. Guys are just jerks, they don’t care about their kids at all…