What Have Feminists Done to America's Fathers?

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What have feminists done to America’s fathers?



June 11, 2005
Phyllis Schlafly

On Father’s Day, Americans should ponder the appalling fact that an estimated 40 percent of our nation’s children are living in homes without their own father. Most of our social problems are caused by kids who grow up in homes without their own fathers: drug abuse, illicit sexual activity, unwed pregnancies, youth suicide, high school dropouts, runaways, and crime.

Where have all the fathers gone? Some men are irresponsible slobs, but no evidence exists that nearly half of American children were voluntarily abandoned by their own fathers; there must be other explanations . . . [Click for more]
 
phyllis may not be aware that many of those children have been abandoned by their fathers, and many of those working mothers are doing so because they get none or inadequate child support. I would not call it women’s lib when a man can sire children without responsibility, sounds more like man’s lib.
 
I think Phyllis is off on this one. The scourge of divorce has been visited on too many children, but far too many fathers abdicate their responsibility and move on. The article carps about the violence against women act and how many tax dollars it takes, but compared to the rest of the federal budget, it’s paltry. I don’t think all divorcing couples must resort to perjury or filing false accusations and in personal experience (others - friends and relatives), men are just as liable to use false accusations of abuse in order to get the upper hand in the proceedings and even beyond. Men can be just as grasping and petty as the meanest among us and they tend to be able to afford better representation. I think if we looked at the statistics, we would find that a man who seeks custody is successful most of the time. Many just don’t bother.
Ms. Schlafly is concerned with the rich keeping their riches, not with the welfare of children.
 
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puzzleannie:
phyllis may not be aware that many of those children have been abandoned by their fathers, and many of those working mothers are doing so because they get none or inadequate child support. I would not call it women’s lib when a man can sire children without responsibility, sounds more like man’s lib.
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Don’t you mean man’s fib?

" Yes, honey, I’ll love you in the morning…"
 
I don’t know enough about the federal laws in this area to know whether Mrs. Schafley is off the mark or not. I do know that the feminists have harped on the need for neither parent to be responsible for family life and for the welfare of children that we now have what they asked for. When men are not given a challenge that is large, dangerous, and self giving they shirk responsibility. When women are taught that they don’t need men and family life and children are an unneeded burden then they behave the way they do.

Dan L
 
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mschoir01:
I think Phyllis is off on this one. The scourge of divorce has been visited on too many children, but far too many fathers abdicate their responsibility and move on. The article carps about the violence against women act and how many tax dollars it takes, but compared to the rest of the federal budget, it’s paltry. I don’t think all divorcing couples must resort to perjury or filing false accusations and in personal experience (others - friends and relatives), men are just as liable to use false accusations of abuse in order to get the upper hand in the proceedings and even beyond. Men can be just as grasping and petty as the meanest among us and they tend to be able to afford better representation. I think if we looked at the statistics, we would find that a man who seeks custody is successful most of the time. Many just don’t bother.
Ms. Schlafly is concerned with the rich keeping their riches, not with the welfare of children.
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I don’t think the statistics on spousal abuse would support your statement; the great majority of reported spousal abuse cases are cases of violence by men. Given the relatively few cases where abuse is caused by women, there is a tremendous reluctance to even report the actual cases, and almost no reason to make a false report.

further, most domestic relations attorneys won’t even take a custody case representing the husband where he has already moved out of the family home, and he most often has moved out because the wife has filed and gotten a restraining order (for which she generally does not even have to appear in order to obtain - they are achieved by affidavit); so he moves out to comply with the order, and the judge couldn’t care less about a “she said he said” argument of whether there was validity to the restraining order or not, so he is not going to revoke the order, or order her out and him back in. At that point, the father has lost custody. The next blow is that he has extremely limited access to his children.

Given the fact that most men are not overly adept in dealing with their emotions, and he is somewhere in the black hole called depression, fobidden to see his children except for the grand total of 96 hours a month (that’s every other weekend to you who don’t do math real well) and he has been reduced to the “abandoning parent” role by the children, or to some sort of visiting toy and joy miracle worker, or worse yet, he has kids on his hands who are an emotional basket case (and remember how good he is at handling his own emotions - now how is he going to handle the kids’?) and then we wonder why he can’t stand the pain, and avoids or just gives up.

Or the kids’ mother gets a new flame, and she is having the little ones call him “dad”; but the real father, who has been emotionally castrated already, gets a new dose of the sociologists pipe dream that divorce is going to “releave the stress” on the kids and that everyone will be happier after the divorce…

And then we wonder why dads bug out? Could it be that when she filed, kicked him out, got the child support and listened to all her girlfriends say what a (put your own euphamism here) he was, and how she’ll be better off without him, that she was setting up the situation?

Nah, couldn’t be. Guys are just jerks, they don’t care about their kids at all…
 
It’s men’s lib all right. But there was a time when women as a whole would never agree to shack up or procreate without a lifetime commitment.

Men’s lib seduced women into giving up that basic principle.
 
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JimG:
It’s men’s lib all right. But there was a time when women as a whole would never agree to shack up or procreate without a lifetime commitment.

Men’s lib seduced women into giving up that basic principle.
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You are absolutely right and the radical feminist movement is further helping destroy the family and women and men:mad: Instead of equality they want superiority,They say they want rights but shoot freedom from responsibility and consequences.:mad:
 
I think that feminism has a great deal to do with our decline in stand-up men and fathers. However, I don’t really think it is because of domestic violence laws. I think it is more directly related to the radical feminists’ insistence that women don’t need men. We can do it all by ourselves, so the men are letting us. I don’t need you to open my door or provide for me. I don’t need your children either, they tie me down and burden me. I’d rather pop contraceptive pills and resort to my feminine right to an abortion if I get pregnant. As a matter of fact, men feel justified leaving their pregnant girlfriends because she should have just had an abortion. She decided to keep it, so it’s her responsibility. If we valued women for actually being women and not expecting them to be men, I think men would start stepping up to the plate. There is no accountability anymore. Since there is no sin, there is no shame. No respect for women. After all, they are just men with different parts. This generation has been raised to think that women are supposed to work outside the home, that traditional marital roles and values are bad, and that the blessings of family life are an oppressive burden. It seems pretty clear to me why there are so many problems with immature men, the explosion of homosexuality, and the horrible decline in respect for human life. But then again, maybe not.
 
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legeorge:
I think that feminism has a great deal to do with our decline in stand-up men and fathers. However, I don’t really think it is because of domestic violence laws. I think it is more directly related to the radical feminists’ insistence that women don’t need men. We can do it all by ourselves, so the men are letting us. I don’t need you to open my door or provide for me. I don’t need your children either, they tie me down and burden me. I’d rather pop contraceptive pills and resort to my feminine right to an abortion if I get pregnant. As a matter of fact, men feel justified leaving their pregnant girlfriends because she should have just had an abortion. She decided to keep it, so it’s her responsibility. If we valued women for actually being women and not expecting them to be men, I think men would start stepping up to the plate. There is no accountability anymore. Since there is no sin, there is no shame. No respect for women. After all, they are just men with different parts. This generation has been raised to think that women are supposed to work outside the home, that traditional marital roles and values are bad, and that the blessings of family life are an oppressive burden. It seems pretty clear to me why there are so many problems with immature men, the explosion of homosexuality, and the horrible decline in respect for human life. But then again, maybe not.
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No you are right on Lori:thumbsup: What a shame,but it is the truth.:nope:
 
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mschoir01:
I think Phyllis is off on this one. The scourge of divorce has been visited on too many children, but far too many fathers abdicate their responsibility and move on. The article carps about the violence against women act and how many tax dollars it takes, but compared to the rest of the federal budget, it’s paltry. I don’t think all divorcing couples must resort to perjury or filing false accusations and in personal experience (others - friends and relatives), men are just as liable to use false accusations of abuse in order to get the upper hand in the proceedings and even beyond. Men can be just as grasping and petty as the meanest among us and they tend to be able to afford better representation. I think if we looked at the statistics, we would find that a man who seeks custody is successful most of the time. Many just don’t bother.
Ms. Schlafly is concerned with the rich keeping their riches, not with the welfare of children.
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No. Actually she is right. She is addressing primarily the concept of women thinking they can have sex with no responsibility, nor need for a man afterwards. It is a lie taught to them by men. And yet the femminists think they are beating men at the game. Out of wedlock pregnancies are the crux of the problem.
 
Whoever is at fault here, it is the children who have paid the price for the past 40 years. Children are the reason that marriage is intended to be permanent. Children don’t ask for divorce. They don’t ask for their family to be broken up. They don’t ask to be shuttled from one parent to another. They get little say in the matter. Children can’t file for divorce. As far as they are concerned, parenthood is until death do us part.

When I read horror stories of spousal abuse, or of horrible marriages, I always wonder. Did this come as a surprise? Who picked this guy? Why did this woman–or any woman, agree to share her life with someone like that? Did she put any thought into it at all? You may think that love can conquer all, but it’s not really possible to turn a toad into prince charming.

Actually, I guess the foregoing is almost beside the point, given the rate of out of wedlock pregnancies. Once again, the adults do that which makes them feel good, but ensures the worst possible outcome for children.
 
I’m beginning to get extremely skeptical of feminism. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to read the article on account of the advertising. There’s something about those adds . . .
 
Feminists have made it so women don’t need to breed like rabbits. They have made it so men don’t dominate women…
 
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YesORno:
Feminists have made it so women don’t need to breed like rabbits. They have made it so men don’t dominate women…
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ahh I see you have an agenda for signing up here.
 
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otm:
I don’t think the statistics on spousal abuse would support your statement; the great majority of reported spousal abuse cases are cases of violence by men. Given the relatively few cases where abuse is caused by women, there is a tremendous reluctance to even report the actual cases, and almost no reason to make a false report.

Sorry, I’ve been away or I would have answered this post. Perhaps I wasn’t clear. What I meant was that in my personal experience, I have seen men use the charge of abuse of the children against their former wives in order to gain an advantage in the courtroom. My point was that divorce is an ugly, scarring event in the lives of all involved, especially for the children. If you think Dad’s having a bad time, think about the offspring!

I think we are grousing about who is at fault when we ought to be praying and living lives of peace as an example to our families! I tell you that that Schlafly woman does that to people!

James 1:20
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Feminists have made it so women don’t need to breed like rabbits. They have made it so men don’t dominate women…
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Comparing women to rabbits is degrading. You dismiss the power in a woman’s fertility. If you want to prove your value to an employer you show him that you can do something he cannot. Why then do feminists think that a woman’s proof of value lies in doing what men can already do? Chauvinists made the mistake of not recognizing a woman’s potential as a woman.

There’s a distinction between dominating an object and dominating a person. There is nothing inherently wrong with men dominating an object - although feminists equate this to dominating women.

For example, men may dominate a sport, like football. Just because women don’t play in the NFL doesn’t mean that women are the ones being dominated.

See my post on Patriarchy in the family. I would be very interested in how this concept of feminism plays out with Catholic social teaching. Feminists seem to have an automatic hatred towards patriarchy, why?

Also, perhaps the word dominate should be clarified. If a sports game turns out to be a really tough game with one team winning by a last second score - can you really say that the winning team “dominated” the other team? My point is that even if a man is the “head” of the household, or the leader, does not mean that the woman is automatically dominated.
 
I certainly make no excuse for male misbehavior. Men are completely responsible for their own behavior–if they sleep around, shirk their responsibilities as fathers, etc., it is 100% their fault. However, when women don’t reject these men, they are responsible for that choice as well. I wish men would behave, and I wish women would refuse to give such men the time of day.

One of the greatest achievements of feminism is it enabled men to obtain easy sex without the price of marriage (or a prostitute for that matter). This has been to the great detriment of both men and women alike, and both are responsible. Children suffer the most from our lack of morality. Of course, the most promiscuous men, unfortunately, have never had it any better.

“When one considers the evidence, one is forced to conclude that Ms. Freidan and Ms. Steinham were either appallingly stupid, or secret agents for the dreaded Patriarchy.” - Vox Day
 
I think personally, feminists have done plenty to harm the family in general, and women, and men, individually, as well. They have weakened the family structure for sure, and have contributed to the breakdown of the family. I especially think they have weakened men, as so many women have just invaded the job market, and so many men have lost jobs to women. Pitiful. Every woman, I believe who was part of this movement too, has many regrets, whether she tries to deny it or not. I have been in this place and seen it. For she is lonely, masculine, barren, deprived, etc., and it is only by God’s grace she will regain her femininity. With God’s help, she will. I have a soft spot in my heart for such women. For it is like anybody who has been deceived. It is not too late, I believe to restore men to their rightful God-given role as provider, and women as their God-given role as nurturer and help-mate. I do believe it is here that we are the happiest.

God Bless~~
 
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sparkle:
I think personally, feminists have done plenty to harm the family in general, and women, and men, individually, as well. They have weakened the family structure for sure, and have contributed to the breakdown of the family. I especially think they have weakened men, as so many women have just invaded the job market, and so many men have lost jobs to women. Pitiful.
God Bless~~
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Invade the job market? I respect a woman’s role as a wife and mother if she chooses to be one (my mom is) but a woman can’t join the workforce while a man can? If a man can’t get a job, that’s not a woman’s problem. Why doesn’t he sharpen up his skills so that he will get hired instead of her?
 
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