I agree with those who say that we are to be in the world but not of it. Excellent posts.
My daughters are 23 and 20, so we’re done with the “teaching” years. We’re reaping the fruits of what we sowed.
The girls were heavily involved with figure skating, which leaves very little time for anything. Figure skating is especially good because the music that is played is usually pretty good. My kids learned to like all kinds of music at the rink.
They were also involved with dance, music, and theater. All of these things are major time suckers, so very little time for wasting. But they made lots of friends at the rink, in the dance studio, and during choir and/or theater practice.
My younger daughter also was on the school volleyball team, another time sucker.
Also, both children attended a private college prep school that offered a rigorous academic curriculum and 8-hour school days. Academic success was rewarded at this school with public recognition and social rewards (such as open campus for students with B+ or better GPA). We loved the school because “brains” were treated as heroes, not freaks.
One good thing about our activities is that many of the other families involved were simliar in their values and goals. For the most part, we didn’t have to worry about the children getting involved with “negative elements.”
As for church–we were involved when the children were small, but we got kicked out of our Protestant church when they were teenagers, and that was the end of church involvement for the rest of their growing up years. They are still Christians, but it’s only in recent months that either daughter has been willing to try to attend church again. The experience was quite bitter.
In fact, it makes me very glad that they had such a rich life OUTSIDE of church. If church was all they had, the “ousting” would have been even more devastating than it was.
BTW, they were both thin as children and still have good figures as young women.
Yes, the girls had play time and time to just be kids. We did a lot of eating out, which for us was better than eating at home. It was a chance to connect as a family and not have to worry about cooking, cleaning, and swatting our family cats away during the meal. I know some of you enjoy family dinners at home. We didn’t and still don’t. We’d rather relax and eat out, even if it was just a fast food joint like Taco Bell (cheaper than I can make tacos at home).
I realize that many parents choose not to over-involve their children in activities I respect that decision.
But both of my daughters have made private and public thanks to us for allowing them to experience so many opportunities as they grew up. They were appreciative that we didn’t box them into any one activity, but allowed them to select which activities to drop and which to keep. Both girls have ended up in careers based on the activities that they were involved in as children and teenagers.
TV? We don’t have cable. Never had it, never will. Utter waste of time and money. All those “nature” shows are really just one-sided presentations of the theory of monophyletic evolution. Have you ever seen one of those shows discuss polyphetic evolution? No, and you never will. Why are you wasting your time pretending that these things are educational? Go to your local museum, sign up for State Park course, join your local hiking club or make friends with an old farmer, and of course, read books and websites (selectively, of course). You’ll learn more.
Video games? Didn’t play them, never will. Utter, complete waste of time. Just eat a can of shortening every day.
BTW, it is possible to train children to think for themselves. My daughters attended sleepovers. When my older daughter was in fourth grade, she was at a sleepover, and we got a call from the mother late at night. Apparently all the other girls were watching a horror movie, but our daughter asked if she could just sit in another room and read. She wasn’t upset, she just told the mom that she didn’t like horror movies and would rather read.
The mother was concerned that our daughter felt left out. We assured her that everything was fine, that our daughter just didn’t like to watch graphic horror movies. She still doesn’t.
Good luck to you with your little ones! If I had it all to do over again, I would do everything the same, except that I would be Catholic! And I would try to enjoy it even more!**
