J
joshrp
Guest
Hi,
I posted a thread asking about emotions. As I was thinking about some of the responses, I thought of the idea of what affection is. The basis for the entire gospel is love, but as the Greek language which the New Testament writers probably used discerns, there are different conceptions and types of love. Much of the affection that many people show each other, especially those who are not guided by principles of Christ’s teaching, is erotic and lustful affection. But the gospel writers and St. Paul especially distinguish between a kind of eros and what is called Agape.
I’m not a person who is very comfortable with giving hugs, and kisses, and holding hands, and giving pats on the back and stuff. Most of the way I love is a kind of cold and calculating love, where I try to think of how I can uplift someone’s soul through dialogue and conversation. The only real kind of “affection” I give to people, is that I tell them a lot of jokes and try to help them laugh and have fun in their relationship with God. Is that enough though?
I don’t even know why I am asking this. I think yesterday I was feeling horrible about a lot of things, and I kind of wished someone would give me a real big hug. I don’t know why I felt like this. I feel like I’ve got a whole ton of emotions all bottled up, and am not sure what to do with them all. Am I supposed to connect emotionally with other people? I usually try to keep emotions out of my relationships with other people, unless the other person is hurting, and they need my help and support. I’m not very comfortable touching or being touched by other people in any way beyond a handshake, especially with females, for fear that I will have lustful thoughts regarding them.
Is this even an important thing to talk or ask about? Maybe I have been thinking about this especially lately because school has just started and I have actually been meeting and having a lot of covnersations with young woman students, and I guess it is kind of frightening to me. I think about wanting to eventually marry someone if that is what God wills for me and that other person to do together, but I have a high anxiety about doing something that is not in God’s will. It exhausts me. I’d say probably the greatest fear I have is marrying the wrong woman, or becoming entangled in a sinful romantic relationship. I am not used to having young woman giving attention or having interest in me because I spend so much time isolated and in my studies or in Church praying, and when a young woman expresses interest in friendship with me, which some have lately, I kind of get scared.
I’m not sure what my ultimate question is on this subject, but I am hoping some of you will understand and have gone through these same experiences and possibly have solved some of the dilemmas in your own lives, and may be able to offer me and anyone else who may be dealing with these questions and feelings some guidance that you have received from the Holy Spirit and applied to living God’s will in your life.
Ultimately, I do not want to do anything that is outside of God’s will, and it has produced in my life an extraordinary anxiety. I want to be vigilant and cautious and prudent. Right now I think the Holy Spirit is telling me to post this thread, because I know that youth today especially are in great crisis on such questions as these, and it is not just myself who are struggling with them in their lives.
God bless you all again!
Joshua
I posted a thread asking about emotions. As I was thinking about some of the responses, I thought of the idea of what affection is. The basis for the entire gospel is love, but as the Greek language which the New Testament writers probably used discerns, there are different conceptions and types of love. Much of the affection that many people show each other, especially those who are not guided by principles of Christ’s teaching, is erotic and lustful affection. But the gospel writers and St. Paul especially distinguish between a kind of eros and what is called Agape.
I’m not a person who is very comfortable with giving hugs, and kisses, and holding hands, and giving pats on the back and stuff. Most of the way I love is a kind of cold and calculating love, where I try to think of how I can uplift someone’s soul through dialogue and conversation. The only real kind of “affection” I give to people, is that I tell them a lot of jokes and try to help them laugh and have fun in their relationship with God. Is that enough though?
I don’t even know why I am asking this. I think yesterday I was feeling horrible about a lot of things, and I kind of wished someone would give me a real big hug. I don’t know why I felt like this. I feel like I’ve got a whole ton of emotions all bottled up, and am not sure what to do with them all. Am I supposed to connect emotionally with other people? I usually try to keep emotions out of my relationships with other people, unless the other person is hurting, and they need my help and support. I’m not very comfortable touching or being touched by other people in any way beyond a handshake, especially with females, for fear that I will have lustful thoughts regarding them.
Is this even an important thing to talk or ask about? Maybe I have been thinking about this especially lately because school has just started and I have actually been meeting and having a lot of covnersations with young woman students, and I guess it is kind of frightening to me. I think about wanting to eventually marry someone if that is what God wills for me and that other person to do together, but I have a high anxiety about doing something that is not in God’s will. It exhausts me. I’d say probably the greatest fear I have is marrying the wrong woman, or becoming entangled in a sinful romantic relationship. I am not used to having young woman giving attention or having interest in me because I spend so much time isolated and in my studies or in Church praying, and when a young woman expresses interest in friendship with me, which some have lately, I kind of get scared.
I’m not sure what my ultimate question is on this subject, but I am hoping some of you will understand and have gone through these same experiences and possibly have solved some of the dilemmas in your own lives, and may be able to offer me and anyone else who may be dealing with these questions and feelings some guidance that you have received from the Holy Spirit and applied to living God’s will in your life.
Ultimately, I do not want to do anything that is outside of God’s will, and it has produced in my life an extraordinary anxiety. I want to be vigilant and cautious and prudent. Right now I think the Holy Spirit is telling me to post this thread, because I know that youth today especially are in great crisis on such questions as these, and it is not just myself who are struggling with them in their lives.
God bless you all again!
Joshua