What is Detachment

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lwest

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How would you define detachment and what would be an example if it?
 
Detachment is preferring nothing more than God. Perhaps a synonym for detachment might be: Freedom? Freedom from our attachments to things of this world?

If there’s anything we’re so attached to that we’d struggle to detach ourselves from it if God’s command required it, that’s an issue. (And therefore a key thread throughout each human life, as we learn holy detachment from anything lower than God.)

It doesn’t mean we don’t or shouldn’t enjoy natural goods (like food, the marital embrace, etc). But we need to be able to let God order – and re-order – our participation in these good things. And we should become able to put these things down when He calls us to do something else.

I think I heard it once put that when we’re in a state of holy detachment, the motivating factor behind our actions becomes: “Which action would give God more glory?” Rather than, e.g., which action is more emotionally comfortable for us, or which action involves more enjoyable activities for us. Not that we’re supposed to ignore or avoid enjoyment/comfort at all times (identifying what we enjoy can sometimes be part of identifying something God is calling us to do) – but we should be able to put down our private preference, if God calls us to something different in the moment. And the ability to do so might be referred to as detachment.
 
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Thank you for that insight. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. Do you think the word ‘internalize’ could be used here? For example…a woman loves her husband and children. She cares for them, goes places with them (when there’s not a pandemic to worry about), laughs with them, etc. That’s all fine and dandy so far, right? But what if she spends her time thinking of them instead of God…she internalizes them instead of God…they are her focus, not God. It’s not quite an obsession, but it could be if it became more intense. What would be an example of ‘attachment’? Or am I totally getting this wrong?
 
lwest said:
Thank you for that insight. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. Do you think the word ‘internalize’ could be used here? For example…a woman loves her husband and children. She cares for them, goes places with them (when there’s not a pandemic to worry about), laughs with them, etc. That’s all fine and dandy so far, right? But what if she spends her time thinking of them instead of God…she internalizes them instead of God…they are her focus, not God. It’s not quite an obsession, but it could be if it became more intense. What would be an example of ‘attachment’? Or am I totally getting this wrong?
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Hmmm, I don’t think we’d necessarily say it’s wrong for a mother (or father) to focus on their children (edit: it depends what we mean by “focus”). Our relationships with one another are an icon of the Trinity. Our love for each other can be a way of glorifying God, and God definitely wants us to love and care for each other! When Jesus says (Luke 14) we must “hate” our mother/father/brothers/sisters/children etc, he doesn’t mean literally despise or neglect any of these people: he just means comparatively, we must love Jesus more, and be willing to act accordingly when called upon. Indeed, it bears mentioning that the parent who loves God first, can actually love their children better than the parent who loves their children ‘first’.

So, yes: if any parent loves their child more than they love God, that parent has gone off the rails in more than one way. But that’s not the same as saying a parent shouldn’t love their children to the fullness of what parental love is meant to be.

I’m reminded of the CS Lewis novel: ‘The Great Divorce’. The characters are ghosts, and one ghost is a mother who was so obsessed with her child that she would now rather drag her child into hell with her, than let her child be in heaven with God without her. And that’s not real, other-focused love. That’s selfish attachment. We should all want our loved ones to be with God, more than we want them to be with us. (Though of course the ideal is for all of us to ultimately end up both with God, and consequently also together with each other.) The mother-ghost tries to get around this problem by claiming to be willing to love God – as a way of being allowed to be with her child again. But that’s not the order in which things work. She has to learn to love God for God’s own sake, rather than as a means to an end.

You might enjoy the book!
 
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I’ve read The Screwtape Letters. I might enjoy the Great Divorce, too. Thanks!
 
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