What is happening?

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bclustr9

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What is happening with me?

I found out about this Buddhist sect in 2010 and I’ve been practicing it off and on since, with moments of no religion at all to maybe Christian again. Buddhism allows me to be myself (be gay) and it’s not really dogmatic or faith based, imo. Just airing my thoughts here.

Last few years, I’ve felt this immense pull to the Catholic faith and I’ve struggled w much doubt. In the end, I guess it’s just about having faith, I dunno.

Buddhism suits me. I get that now but at the same time, I realize that it just doesn’t fill that void that I suppose God does. I find myself sometimes thinking “Buddhism is odd and unrelateable to me, it doesn’t work”, yet I still hang onto it. Madness I know.

I’ve felt the peace that comes through total submission to the Will of God but it’s soooo hard to have faith and submit my will! I’m sure many can relate.

Also, my life just seems off. I have been stressed w my job, can’t seem to find anything better at the moment, am behind on my rent and am dealing with a narcissistic roommate that is both inconsiderate and messy and no matter what I say, he just continues on with it all, even tries to carry on small talk as if he isn’t doing anything wrong and I’m suppose to just be all nice and pretend all is well. I feel like nothing is going right. I feel like I’m in this odd place right now and honestly I’m just heartbroken inside but cannot bring myself to cry. I have all of this anxiety within me and yet I’m keeping it together somehow. I know I need to turn to God but I’m afraid and I’m not sure it will help.

My family never speaks to me, they’ve been indifferent towards me for as long as I can remember and I feel like I have no one. What do I do? I’m really torn and just need some advice.
 
Get rid of the sin in your life, come to Jesus and his Church and you will be happy. There will be even more crosses when your Catholic, but take hart you will handle them with joy.
 
Maybe it’s worth investigating Christianity in some way. Maybe try attending Mass, or some other Christian worship? I also really recommend Catholic radio. FYI these forums can get pretty intense. Not always in a good way.
I think if you feel pulled in a certain way, it’s worth checking it out. That doesn’t mean you have to commit to anything.
Good luck and God bless you!
 
If you are seeking mysticism, have you contemplated Eastern Orthodoxy or Eastern Catholicism?

Before you completely decide to reject the Lord Jesus Christ, which would be a tragedy, I’d highly recommend that you spend a weekend at an Eastern Christian (Orthodox or Catholic) monastery, where immersion in the “ancient ways” can truly renew one’s soul.

God bless you!
 
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bclustr9 said:
What is happening with me?

I found out about this Buddhist sect in 2010 and I’ve been practicing it off and on since, with moments of no religion at all to maybe Christian again. Buddhism allows me to be myself (be gay) and it’s not really dogmatic or faith based, imo. Just airing my thoughts here.

Last few years, I’ve felt this immense pull to the Catholic faith and I’ve struggled w much doubt. In the end, I guess it’s just about having faith, I dunno.

Buddhism suits me. I get that now but at the same time, I realize that it just doesn’t fill that void that I suppose God does. I find myself sometimes thinking “Buddhism is odd and unrelateable to me, it doesn’t work”, yet I still hang onto it. Madness I know.

I’ve felt the peace that comes through total submission to the Will of God but it’s soooo hard to have faith and submit my will! I’m sure many can relate.

Also, my life just seems off. I have been stressed w my job, can’t seem to find anything better at the moment, am behind on my rent and am dealing with a narcissistic roommate that is both inconsiderate and messy and no matter what I say, he just continues on with it all, even tries to carry on small talk as if he isn’t doing anything wrong and I’m suppose to just be all nice and pretend all is well. I feel like nothing is going right. I feel like I’m in this odd place right now and honestly I’m just heartbroken inside but cannot bring myself to cry. I have all of this anxiety within me and yet I’m keeping it together somehow. I know I need to turn to God but I’m afraid and I’m not sure it will help.

My family never speaks to me, they’ve been indifferent towards me for as long as I can remember and I feel like I have no one. What do I do? I’m really torn and just need some advice.
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If you are/were a Catholic and received First Holy Communion, I would go to confession and share all this with the priest in the confessional.

If you have never been Catholic, I would suggest calling a Catholic Church near you and make an appointment to speak with the priest. Regardless of what you choose to do, I know speaking to a good priest will do wonders for you.

God Bless
 
I personally found the book “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis to be extremely helpful in thinking about religion.
 
Have you ever read Thomas Merton, for example, his Seven Storey Mountain? It’s great, and he was able to see a fair amount of congruity between his Catholic Faith and various aspects of Buddhism.
Also, Catholicism does have robust traditions of meditative and contemplative prayer. Worth looking into if it’s the meditation (& mindfulness) that you like about Buddhism.
 
I really can’t stress enough the importance of contacting a monastery, and arranging for a weekend retreat to one. Many Catholic and Orthodox monasteries maintain cells or rooms for pilgrims/visitors.

If you plan ahead, you may very well be able to secure a private session with the abbot or another spiritual father/mentor.

Monasticism is radically divergent from what we experience at a regular parish (be it Orthodox or Catholicism).
 
I’m sorry you’re going through all this. It’s so painful to be estranged from family.
You’re on a Catholic forum, obviously, you’ll get advice from us to look into Catholicism 🙂
Am :pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2: For you on your spiritual journey!
 
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