T
TimothyH
Guest
Sometimes it is difficult to remain in a prayerful spirit. This was expecially true when I first started and struggled to get all the mechanics right. Note that I serve at the OF.I was speaking to an EF altar server yesterday and I asked him if it is easy to focus on the mass while serving.
This is what he said:
– sometimes he gets so into the mass he misses a cue
– he prefers the low mass because the chant can be distracting
– it is awesome to see what is happening on the altar
So my question is, do servers sometimes find it hard to remain in a prayerful spirit when you also have to make sure you are doing the right things?
Note, he did not say he has a hard time remaining in a prayerful spirit, but I am wondering about your experiences.
I try to focus on the priest, to unite my heart and spirit to his heart and spirit. I don’t put myself in his place, that wouldn’t be proper, but I watch him, sit when he sits and stand when he stands, and generally try to anticipate his needs, if he seems to be a little rushed or if he is in a really great mood and is taking his time. They are human, and the focus for me, is always on the priest. And sometimes that kinda gets in the way of just praying.
Other times, it is so awsome. To see the heat rising from the candles, the snow white linens, gold chalice studded with blue sapphires in honor of Our Lady, gold paten with host about to be consecrated as I pour water over the priest’s hands for purification… the first time I stood that close it scared the crud out of me. I moved to the sancutary steps during the sanctus and just knelt there shaking so hard that the other server asked me later if I was OK. Who was I to be so close to the miracle about to happen? I almost quit then. God’s presence up there is real. It is palpable. And God was showing me how great a gift it was for him to allow me to be up there.
But the other night we had a special Mass in honor of Blessed John Paul II. I was struggling to see the altar over the ambo as I knelt, and when we stood for the Lord’s Prayer, the sight was spectacular. It was like Jesus on the Mount of Transfiguration, gleaming white and shining like lightening. It took my breath away to the point where I moved my lips to say, “Lord, I am not worthy to recieve you…” but no sound came out of my mouth. It is times like that when I feel so humble and so lucky to be there, to see what most people never get to see. Sometimes it is difficult to hold in the emotion.
I did miss ringing the bells once. I was so into the Mass that I just didn’t think to ring them. I was busy praying and listening to the priest say the words of consecration and overcome by the whole thing that I just didn’t think to do it. The priest raised the host and I remember thinking for a moment that something was missing… There were no bells… No one is ringing the bells… Then I realized that I was the one who was supposed to ring the bells!
Then there are the times when whacky stuff happens. The concelebrating priest turns around and motions you to come to him. He doesn’t think the microphone at the ambo is on or wants you to change to a different type of incense right in the middle of the Mass or the deacon taps you on the shoulder as you process down the aisle and whispers, “You are doing the second reading.” I think one day a priest is going to ask me to run to the vestry and order a pizza for him for after the Mass.
Hey, I don’t ask questions. I just do what I’m told.
And then there was the time when the priest lifted the pall, turned to me and made a motion like he was consecrating and said, “I need a two inch host.” I looked at the paten and it was empty. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
But I wouldn’t give it up for the world. Not for the whole world.
-Tim-
