What is love and more specifically what exactly is agape?

[Ioana]

I’ve heard it said that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. I don’t quite understand that concept. So I’ve heard it’s all about “willing” to love. What does that mean? It must be more than just doing actions to benefit others because of 1 Corinthians 13:3 but surely it isn’t just saying in your head “I want the best for this person” because anybody can do that and if it is just saying that thing in your head+ meaning it then surely “meaning it” is a feeling. Also, that sounds a little cold, but I assume it is the only type of love we can be commanded. It would be fair to assume that God loves in more than just that way though, right? Thanks for any answers in advance

 

[Elf01]

surely it isn’t just saying in your head “I want the best for this person” because anybody can do that and if it is just saying that thing in your head+ meaning it then surely “meaning it” is a feeling.

If meaning it is acting for their good does that help?

 

[Ioana]

Fairs, but 1 Corinthians 13:3 says “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” Those actions would be acting for their good I assume, but Paul seems to imply that in themselves they aren’t love.

 

[Rayne2Step]

“agape” is one of the 3 different loves, this being the ultimate because its love of GOD. The others “philia” is friendship love, and “eros” is the love between man and woman. Each are distinct from the other. A good short read and it isnt difficult to understand is Pope Benedict’s encyclical letter “God Is Love”, Peace be with you

 

[Ioana]

I did skim through (I should probably read it properly). I’m just having a little trouble understanding this whole “willing the good of the other” concept. I don’t mean to sound confrontational btw, sorry if I do.

 

[Edward_H]

Pope Benedict in Deus Caritas Est points out the different natures of two loves.

Eros is a passionate and possessive love, that seeks to possess a good. Possessing a good is what leads to happiness (the duration and depth of this happiness is proportional to the trueness of the possessed good).

Agape is a self-giving love, that goes outside of itself and seeks the good of another. It’s “kenotic” (kenosis), it self-empties (as Jesus showed us from the Crucifix).

He further points out these aren’t opposing loves.

He says that agape elevates and perfects eros.

Beautiful teaching.

 

[Rayne2Step]

You are doing just fine. We are all on this journey together. Our faith is communal (together) we help each other along. Everyone adds value. I appreciate your question because it caused me to refer back. The adoration chapel, so many truths revealed to my mind and heart in there. I go often, its wonderful. Funny story, awhile back I was in adoration chapel in the rocking chair and Im working on total surrender and I say “Father your will be done”…so I went to sleep ! When I woke all I could think about was how ugly that must have been to Jesus. So I went to confession and said this to the priest and he laughs and says “man what do you want, your will or His…you did say for Him to do what He wanted, well, He wanted you to rest”…dont stop searching, it may not come all at once, but thats part of the journey. Encounters and reading from 20 years ago pop up in present time and still give me even more complete meaning. Peace be with you

 

[Ioana]

Fair enough. But how can you make that choice when they aren’t in danger?

 

[Reuben_J]

This may not be the best answer but I try anyway.

Well, love is you just love, whether it’s for people, pets or things.

Sure you should have feeling but love does not depend on it simply because feeling does not last.

Love is a decision because you should not stop loving even when it is difficult to do so. And that’s bound to happen. Thus it requires giving, forgiving and charity.

Because love is giving, it is always for the good of the person you love. You give for that goodness.

Humanly it is often done when we sacrifice something for the good of others. Parents are often willing to live in poverty to save money for their children’s education. A father may throw his life away to save his child from drowning.

God is a Father. He gave His only Son in love of us so that we may be saved.

God bless.

 

[Dan_Defender]

I would add to use your talents and skills to benefit others, instead of sitting around playing video games or such to use your time and what you have to help others, out of love. For that is what the saints did.

 

[fhansen]

I’ve heard it said that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. I don’t quite understand that concept. So I’ve heard it’s all about “willing” to love. What does that mean? It must be more than just doing actions to benefit others because of 1 Corinthians 13:3 but surely it isn’t just saying in your head “I want the best for this person” because anybody can do that and if it is just saying that thing in your head+ meaning it then surely “meaning it” is a feeling. Also, that sounds a little cold, but I assume it is the only type of love we can be commanded. It would be fair to assume that God loves in more than just that way though, right? Thanks for any answers in advance

As with any good gift from God emotions can be twisted into something “less good”. They can be manipulated and used for selfish purposes. But fear, sorrow, anger, love are all real, and powerful, reactions and drivers or motivators when we’re faced with various situations in life. Without them we wouldn’t act. They are connected to knowledge. I know a certain act is wrong not simply because my reason or intellect tells me so but because I experience this “wrongness” directly, viscerally, when I react to some injustice with righteous indignation or moral outrage, as examples. Or when compassion overcomes me and drives me to help a person in some kind of distress. I can still resist, the will is directly involved, but these emotions are the virtue, in the case of love, experienced and acted on rather than strictly “thought about” and acted on. The experience cannot be separated from the will; they work hand in hand.

Anyway, I’m clumsily trying to.make the case that love is more than an act but a powerfully felt experience, and one that always changes us for the better.

 

[PJM]

I’ve heard it said that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. I don’t quite understand that concept. So I’ve heard it’s all about “willing” to love. What does that mean? It must be more than just doing actions to benefit others because of 1 Corinthians 13:3 but surely it isn’t just saying in your head “I want the best for this person” because anybody can do that and if it is just saying that thing in your head+ meaning it then surely “meaning it” is a feeling. Also, that sounds a little cold, but I assume it is the only type of love we can be commanded. It would be fair to assume that God loves in more than just that way though, right? Thanks for any answers in advance

Agape LOVE is the UNCONDITIONAL Love Jesus had for ALL OF created humanity

In action it is NON-Judgmental {“hate the SIN; BUT LOVE the sinner”}

It is unconditional: YOU love first and don’rt wait to be loved

You Love without ANY expectation to be loved in return

You FORGIVE everyone for everything {period!}; beginning with yourself.

Love is a conscious and personal choice BEFORE it is an emotion:smiley:

Agape LOVE is knowing what Jesus modeled and commanded and then doing it selflessly.

PRAY very much,
Patrick

 

[Seagull]

Jesus, after His resurrection, asked Peter, “ do you love me “
He asked this three times.

Someone told me, each “ love “ Jesus used…
translates in a unique word - for love.

God loves in so many different ways…as there are people