What is Love?

[trpdnabx]

During a Foccus meeting the priest wanted me to define my expectations for how my fiancee will love me as my husband.

I said he would Respect me, Listen, be a pillar of support, be my best friend…

But the priest pointed out how I can get all the above from people who aren’t my husband. He wants me to think of things that are uniquely between a husband and wife.

Please help me… I am really freaked out that I can’t answer this question. I just need someone to start up a topic that will push me in the right direction.

Thanks in Advance

 

[Cat]

First thing I thought of when I read of your discussion–sex.

You will (hopefully) never have sex with anyone except your husband. Sex is reserved for marriage, and it’s what makes you and your husband more than just “roommates.”

EVERYTHING else you can do with a roommate, even give birth to a baby while he/she coaches.

But only with your husband will you make physical love.

Your husband will express his love for you sexually, seek to meet your sexual needs, and respect your fertility by either abstaining during your fertile times if you are trying to keep a longer space between children, or by making love to you during your fertile periods if you are trying to add children to your family.

 

[Saintlucy]

I wrote this reply to someone who was troubled about a long-distance relationship. I suppose his question was really: What is love? I hope this helps. This is not aimed at you personally. The poster broke off his relationship.

I can’t give advice from my own experience but that of my parents. My father was a regular soldier when they met (Grenadier Guards.) My mother was six years older than him. They fell in love at first sight This was in 1936. He was stationed in London, as he was guarding the royal palaces and the Bank of England etc. My mum was in Bristol. Not far - 120 miles but in those days without motorways (freeways) and high-speed trains, they didn’t see each other very often. Everything was done by letter. No emails in those days and no mobile phones.

They married in July 1939. My dad was on the reserve and when war broke out in September he was one of the first to go to France. He was at Dunkirk and invalided out in 1942. He was so badly injured that it took over a year to get home. Not once did my parents doubt their love for each other. Distance meant nothing. They were married for 63 years when he died in 2002. Mum is still alive at 98 and I look after her. She is still in love with him.

If you don’t have these deep feelings that tell you that you would go anywhere and do anything for each other, stop now. It worries me that you even question your feelings or the situation you are in. If you truly love each other, nothing will stop you being together.

 

[Eucharisted]

Contemplate on God, who is Love.

 

[metalking2u]

I wrote this reply to someone who was troubled about a long-distance relationship. I suppose his question was really: What is love? I hope this helps. This is not aimed at you personally. The poster broke off his relationship.]

Hi there - you addressed this to my boyfriend and me and we did not break off our relationship - I am not sure if you have us confused with someone else?

 

[Ross09]

During a Foccus meeting the priest wanted me to define my expectations for how my fiancee will love me as my husband.

I said he would Respect me, Listen, be a pillar of support, be my best friend…

But the priest pointed out how I can get all the above from people who aren’t my husband. He wants me to think of things that are uniquely between a husband and wife.

Please help me… I am really freaked out that I can’t answer this question. I just need someone to start up a topic that will push me in the right direction.

Thanks in Advance

It is agape love versus brotherly love; man and wife join through the sacrament of marriage to become one in part to imitate the love of God for each of us. It is a total self-giving love. It’s not about me anymore, it’s about “you and me” together on a level much higher than as an engaged couple. Through a sacramental marriage, living as a married couple makes every day a sacrament. A married relationship takes on a life of it’s own, and it’s ultimate gift from God is a new life born of that love (a child). This is unique to married love.

 

[Dtmccameron]

It is agape love versus brotherly love; man and wife join through the sacrament of marriage to become one in part to imitate the love of God for each of us. It is a total self-giving love. It’s not about me anymore, it’s about “you and me” together on a level much higher than as an engaged couple. Through a sacramental marriage, living as a married couple makes every day a sacrament. A married relationship takes on a life of it’s own, and it’s ultimate gift from God is a new life born of that love (a child). This is unique to married love.

But surely the Agape love ought to be given to all, not just one’s spouse? Surely, we, as Christians, should be willing to sacrifice ourselves entirely for anyone, even our enemies?

The way I see it, Love is, of course, wanting the other’s ultimate good, which can be nothing but Heaven. And the only reason you should ever marry someone is because you feel God has chosen you to be His instrument in getting said person there.

 

[kage_ar]

Marriage is a sacrament.

Think about the what a sacrament is.

The kind of love in a marriage is sacrificial love, it is laying down one’s life for the other, it is not about “what you do for me and how you make me feel”, it is “how can I best help you get to heaven and help our children get to heaven. How can I be the best reflection of the relatioship between Christ and His Church”.

Pick up Fulton Sheen’s “Three To Get Married”.

 

[Jade_Tiger]

I would say the love means you’d die for someone. I guess that is rather simplistic, however, and it doesn’t only apply to your spouse.

 

[Belgarion]

…I am VERY tempted to link a Haddaway video…Or “A Night at the Roxbury”…

 

[Ross09]

But surely the Agape love ought to be given to all, not just one’s spouse? Surely, we, as Christians, should be willing to sacrifice ourselves entirely for anyone, even our enemies?

The way I see it, Love is, of course, wanting the other’s ultimate good, which can be nothing but Heaven. And the only reason you should ever marry someone is because you feel God has chosen you to be His instrument in getting said person there.

I only give myself entirely to my spouse.

 

[Dtmccameron]

I only give myself entirely to my spouse.

Well, ah, ahem to you for that!

But, that’s not at all what I meant. What’s more, if you mess around with *that *too much, you get kids thinking that that is the “ultimate expression of love”…Which it isn’t. Sacrifice is.

And there is nothing that prevents us for giving that ultimate sacrifice to everyone, or anyone. Of course, we act in Love through service, and of course, our every act of servitude should be in efforts to get the other closer to Heaven and Christ.

Evangilization is an act of Love. Being a Catechist is an act of Love. Being a Priest is an act of Love, as is being a husband or a wife.

Love is service.

 

[trpdnabx]

…I am VERY tempted to link a Haddaway video…Or “A Night at the Roxbury”…

Lol… Thanks every one, I know this post is really old but I was just re-reading it.

After I read your post I started doing the head bob thing. @_@

 

[hamburglar]

Your husband will love you by willing good for you for your sake. His goal as a husband will be to lead you towards eternal happiness with God in heaven. Your salvation is the duty of your husband.

 

[Havard]

I agree with the posters who’ve mentioned procreation.

“It is clear that offspring is the most essential thing in marriage, secondly fidelity, and thirdly [the] sacrament; even as to man it is more essential to be in nature than to be in grace, although it is more excellent to be in grace” (Summa Theologiae IIIb:49:3).

“By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring, and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory” (CCC 1652). “Married couples should regard it as their proper mission to transmit human life and to educate their children” (CCC 2367).

Belgarion:

…I am VERY tempted to link a Haddaway video…Or “A Night at the Roxbury”…

There needs to be a head-bobbing smiley.