What is the better way for marriage to be validated by the Catholic Church?

[maryplus6]

My son who is Catholic and his fiance who is a baptized Christian, but non-practicing Christian at this time, are going through the annullment process for his previous marriage, and hers. The young priest they were talking to told them it could very possibly take 2 years to get their answer and since they are both in their early thirties, they have decided to have a non-catholic wedding first, so that they can have a child before it’s too late. My question is, is it better for them to get married by a justice of the peace, or by a minister in another religion, if they want to later validate their marriage in the Catholic Church. I know this is definitely not the right way to go, but since they are going ahead with this, I definitely want them back in the Catholic Church as soon as possible. Their priest did not answer their question on this. Thank you.

 

[puzzleannie]

It is better for them to wait until they are free to marry (if that happens). The worst that can happen to a CAtholic is to deliberately step into mortal sin and separate themselves from Eucharist and the other sacraments. It is a tragedy, and no way to contemplate bringing children into the world. What would happen should one of them fail to get the annulment? Going ahead with an invalid attempt at marriage is also, from a practical POV, going to complicate their situation as well.

 

[juno24]

The answer is that neither is better. They are presuming that both of their previous marriages will indeed be found null. That’s a huge assumption on their part. What happens if they do decide to marry civilly and find out that one or the other is denied the annulment? They would rather commit grave act (fornication) after grave act (marrying outside the Church) after grave act (presuming upon the Lord’s mercy), than to wait and do things in the proper fashion. I am sorry that they are choosing this path. Pray that they have a change of heart and do things properly.

 

[1ke]

My question is, is it better for them to get married by a justice of the peace, or by a minister in another religion, if they want to later validate their marriage in the Catholic Church.

Neither.

Both are invalid attempts at marriage and a mortal sin. This bars your son from he sacraments. And, if one or both marriages are found to be valid they will have put themselves in a very bad position and brought a child into it.

Honestly, you need to do everything you can to talk them out of such a bad decision, to sin mortally in order to have a child “before it’s too late.” They need to do things right. If they are not able to have a child later, then they can adopt.

I know this is definitely not the right way to go, but since they are going ahead with this, I definitely want them back in the Catholic Church as soon as possible. Their priest did not answer their question on this. Thank you.

Of course their priest did not answer this question, because it’s a ridiculous questions. What’s the best way for me to commit a grave sin? Duh.

Mom, you need to continue to tell them the truth-- that no option except waiting for a decree of nullity and marrying validly will do.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

They have applied to have marriages declared null and void. There is no guarantee that the Church will grant their anticipated decree of nullity. Thus they may not be free to marry.

If they ‘marry’ in a civil marriage they will be committing adultery. As you want them to return to the Church this is not the way. Your son will not be allowed Communion as he will be committing a grave sin.

It appears that your son and his partner have a very poor understanding of marriage.