What is the demerits of marrying somebody out of sympathy

[Barachiel]

Hi Every one,
I know quite a number of people who marry who they married just because of the sympathy they are having towards the other and my problem is that this trend is fast growing. most people marry this day because they felt they can not turn the other person down . pls can we discuss in its simplicity and still be within the armpit of the Catholic teachings?

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

the armpit of the Catholic teachings?

Okay I’m not even gonna ask what that means

However, for a marriage to be valid, both persons have to agree to it.
They don’t have to be in love, they don’t even have to be in like. Just that they agree to it.
And they still have to do the things married people do, like be faithful and have sex and be open to children.

 

[Brendea]

I’m sorry I don’t think a marriage based on sympathy could be invalid.

People get married for a number of reasons, sometimes it’s love sometimes it’s so they are not lonely , even in arranged marriages they learn to love one another and make it work ( the vast majority of the time)

To put it simply

Provided they are faithful are open to children and if Catholic raise any children Catholic it meets the requirements for marriage being Catholic we don’t require you love one another or even like one another

I’ve heard of 2 single friends who were single for years and never wanted to be more than just friends who both really wanted children decide to get married and have kids ( at the age of 38 and 40 they just never met the right person) and both of them wanted children

 

[Barachiel]

I honestly appreciate your contribution but then, dont you thing that there is always some negative effect associated with such Marriage?

 

[Mary888]

The demerit may be that it may reflect negatively on their children should they have any. Children feel the feelings between their parents and a cold yet friendly couple may love their kids with all their heart but the children will never truly feel all the presence of a happily bounded mother and father.
However as other have stated, provided the couple aren’t impeached to marry due to them being related or otherwise, and the union is fully free, the Church does not stop any couple to marry (within Christian morals).

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I’ve heard of 2 single friends who were single for years and never wanted to be more than just friends who both really wanted children decide to get married and have kids ( at the age of 38 and 40 they just never met the right person) and both of them wanted children

That doesn’t sound like a bad marriage scenario at all.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I know quite a number of people who marry who they married just because of the sympathy they are having towards the other and my problem is that this trend is fast growing. most people marry this day because they felt they can not turn the other person down .

I don’t see this scenario as being common at all. In the present day, it seems like people marry at the end of a long process (sadly, it usually involves living together, in mortal sin, for a time), and that it has a lot to do with the self-actualization of both partners. Put another way, they marry when it makes their lives perfect (or so they think) — “the icing on the cake”, so to speak.

That said, I don’t think it is at all bad for a person to see someone else, perhaps someone who has a lot of strikes against them in the game of life, and see it as a way to help this person have a better life. Loneliness and the unlikeliness of ever finding love is a miserable way to live. They would certainly be appreciated a whole lot more.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I know many people who married for love and probably a couple who married for money, social position, career, or they were in a hurry to have children.

I do not know any people who married for “sympathy”. Nobody is going to jump through all the hoops of an actual marriage just because they feel sorry for somebody, at least not in USA. If somebody did, they’re stuck with the consequences.

Where do you get this strange idea that most people are too afraid to say no to a proposal? Usually in USA if one person does not wish to marry, things don’t even reach proposal stage because the couple will likely be in some long-term relationship, probably with sex, before anyone suggests marriage, so if things aren’t working out they usually have years in which to just break up.