What is the loving way to deal with abuse/neglect?

[gemma]

Some people are kind enough when they get their way, and abusive when they don’t. They don’t hate continually - they use another person (faked friendship/intimacy), and then use coersion and verbal force to keep the other person continually available for their use.

When a person always responds to mistreatment with smiles and kindness, it only encourages the ‘user’ to continue to mistreat.

How does one show Christ’s love practically to a person like this, and still protect oneself?

 

[Mamamull]

Wish I could say that I had the real answer. I think I am trying to accomplish standuing up for myself while remaining charitable and loving.

My cousin is a person I would have terminated my relationship with her many years ago. Yet since she was family, I felt that I had to tolerate her. She really got rude to me when my daughter died. I had chosen to block phones calls from her because she couldn’t understand why I was so grumped out.

My grief counsellor told me I had to point out her shortcomings to her as if I were Jesus. It only took me five years to get to a point where I could be healed enough in my spirit to be compassionate to her.

I dredged up all the emotions from back then. Wrote a letter that I had others read to see if I was truly not being a jerk to her.

The hard part is that I was under spiritual attack first by a stranger and then her – on the day before my daughter’s funeral.

It took much prayer to be able to state those situations and not just tell her that she was being a minion of Satan.

I pray to the Holy Spirit frequently and pray for the those gifts before writing usually.

My cousin moved and hasn’t told any of my relatives that she had and where to find her. I can understand her anger with me, but gosh, she went and left the entire family.

I feel cheated once more by her since I can’t even apologize to her. Perhaps there are others who have the correct and simple answer.

 

[Katie1723]

This might not be the best way…but it usually leaves them scratching their heads.
Take a deep breath…go right up to them and say “when you are ready to behave like a normal human being, I will be ready to talk to you” And then WALK AWAY. Worked for me.
~ Kathy ~

 

[Dandilion]

When a person always responds to mistreatment with smiles and kindness, it only encourages the ‘user’ to continue to mistreat.
Users always use, no matter the response.

 

[Island_Oak]

gemma:

How does one show Christ’s love practically to a person like this, and still protect oneself?

Always remember that the problem belongs to that other person…and is not caused by anything you do or fail to do. Sometimes when you have such a “toxic” person in your life, your only option may be to create some healthy distance. This can be done charitably (without gossiping about the person and praying for them) and may be the only way to avoid the negativity and imbalance these folks can inject inject into your life. Occasionally the passage of time/maturity/age, life experience, loss, renewed faith, etc…can transform these people–so keep yourself open to welcoming them back.