What makes a human fundamentally worthy?

[total_Catholic]

I am 41, all alone, all my friends have moved on in life, never been married, in debt, overweight, basically a loner.

What makes somebody like me fundamentally worthy? I hear this all the time but it just doesn’t register. I told a priest once that I basically exist, I don’t live. So if I just go away, what is it about me that would make one care?

I’m sure my dad and my sister might miss me, but other than that and no I’m not gonna kill myself but I just truly wonderful and if I were so special, why wouldn’t people tell me.

Maybe I just wasn’t well prepared for life. Just asking.

 

[davidv]

I am 41, all alone, all my friends have moved on in life, never been married, in debt, overweight, basically a loner.

What makes somebody like me fundamentally worthy?

You were created in the image and likeness of God.

355 "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them."218 Man occupies a unique place in creation: (I) he is “in the image of God”; (II) in his own nature he unites the spiritual and material worlds; (III) he is created “male and female”; (IV) God established him in his friendship.

I hear this all the time but it just doesn’t register. I told a priest once that I basically exist, I don’t live. So if I just go away, what is it about me that would make one care?

I’m sure my dad and my sister might miss me, but other than that and no I’m not gonna kill myself but I just truly wonderful and if I were so special, why wouldn’t people tell me.

Maybe I just wasn’t well prepared for life. Just asking.

You can change that.

 

[PseuTonym]

The thread title is excellent, and quite appropriate for the Philosophy forum, but it’s the kind of big question that I would not attempt to answer.

if I were so special, why wouldn’t people tell me?

I took the liberty of adding a question mark. Without a question mark, it might be a rhetorical question not to be answered, or it might be an actual question that is simply missing a question mark. The following might be helpful as we attempt to discover an answer:

Two nights before, Joshua Bell had performed a sold-out concert where patrons gladly paid $200 for nosebleed seats, but this time the performance was free.
Bell ditched his tux … Street musicians are not an uncommon sight or sound for Washingtonians. In fact, my son Parker has played his guitar outside Metro stations a time or two, trying to make a little extra spending cash. Amazingly, his tip jar fared about as well as that of virtuoso Joshua Bell.

The experiment was originally conceived by Washington Post Columnist Gene Weingarten and filmed by hidden camera. Of the 1,097 people who passed by, only seven stopped to listen. The forty-five-minute performance ended without applause or acknowledgment. Joshua Bell netted $32.17 in tips, which included a $20 spot from the one person who recognized the Grammy Award-winning musician.

… the question raised by this social experiment: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the greatest musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, on one of the most beautiful instruments ever made, how many similarly sublime moments do we miss out on during a normal day?

Source of the above excerpt:
The Grave Robber: How Jesus Can Make Your Impossible Possible
By Mark Batterson

It looks as though I answered a question with another question, a violation of the rules of this forum. However, I did point in a particular direction, and this post is already big enough if the thread is to be a discussion and not merely a sequence of monologues.

I encourage you to create another thread in
Family Life
Marriage, children, education, relatives, in-laws, advice

You mentioned your father and sister, and the description of the forum includes the word “advice.” If you are looking for advice, then it’s a good idea to ask. Otherwise you will get advice primarily from people who are predisposed to offer unsolicited advice.

 

[mikekle]

You are not alone in this, Im in close to the same situation, Im 42 yrs old, I do still keep in contact with some friends I went to school with, mainly over FB, but they all have families and kids of their own now, Ive been divorced for about 6 yrs now, never had any kids, not currently dating or wanting to date.

I do have one good friend I meet for lunch and do things with here and there, but they are very busy, raising a pre-teen girl and my own job keeps me busy during the week, the weekend comes and Im not really in the mood to do much of anything, just like to relax and enjoy not having to work, sleeping in is good too.

Every once in awhile, like this past week, work was stressful and I thought about finding another type of work I could do, and I always dream of moving to southern CA, but financially, Im pretty much stuck right where I am and for the foreseeable future!

It seems like I just go to work and come home, doesnt look like this will change until I retire!

 

[1Lord1Faith]

I’d say because we, most people, collectively believe they are even if if an individual doesn’t think they are worthy, others will tell them that they are. People can change their situations, especially if they are single and relatively healthy.

If you treat others as if they are fundamentally worthy, then so are you.

 

[total_Catholic]

You are not alone in this, Im in close to the same situation, Im 42 yrs old, I do still keep in contact with some friends I went to school with, mainly over FB, but they all have families and kids of their own now, Ive been divorced for about 6 yrs now, never had any kids, not currently dating or wanting to date.

I do have one good friend I meet for lunch and do things with here and there, but they are very busy, raising a pre-teen girl and my own job keeps me busy during the week, the weekend comes and Im not really in the mood to do much of anything, just like to relax and enjoy not having to work, sleeping in is good too.

Every once in awhile, like this past week, work was stressful and I thought about finding another type of work I could do, and I always dream of moving to southern CA, but financially, Im pretty much stuck right where I am and for the foreseeable future!

It seems like I just go to work and come home, doesnt look like this will change until I retire!

Least you’ve been married. I have the will to change. Once, I lost over 70 pounds, didn’t seem to matter. Started working out last year and suffered a ruptured appendix. When all was said and done, down 60 pounds, nothing.

I am beyond ignored and it hurts. Yes, I am wallowing in self pity and I did NOT deserve to be abandoned by long time friends and it HURTS. Rant over. Tell me how pathetic I am. Everyone else, through their silence, seems to.

 

[St_Francis]

I read about a nun who was completely paralyzed except for her eyes. She had to communicate by blinking.

She asked for a large rosary to be put on the wall across from her bed. The other nuns did this, not knowing why she wanted it. Then they saw that she was using her eyes on the beads to prayer the rosary. She prayed many rosaries for others and so did a lot of good, despite being completely unable to move.

 

[jaimeleglise]

Your worthiness does not depend on your marital status, your financial status nor your weight. Those are worldly standards, not God’s standards.

You are a child of God, made in His image. That what makes you worthy.

A priest once told me that Jesus would have gladly gone through all His suffering and death to save just one person. That person could be me, it could be you as well.

 

[total_Catholic]

Thanks guys. I was just in a bad place last night and it just got to me. I know that just by being alive that GOD does see some value in me.

 

[JuanFlorencio]

Love! Love makes you fundamentally worthy: Not the love others have for you, but the love you have for others.

Now the question might be: And why should you love others? Is it because they are worthy, and you have to acknowledge their worthiness?

I would say that you don’t have to love others because they deserve it, but because they need it.

 

[puzzledtoo]

I have a daughter-in-law that once said that she had no life. All she did was go to work and come home and that was it. She had/has a husband. She at the time had one daughter. She can have one of the biggest hearts when it comes to helping people-strangers as well as folks she knows. When we look outside of ourselves for satisfaction we are often disappointed.
She now has a nearly 2 year old son and one due soon. I’m sure she probably has the same view that she has no life.
I’m sure that at least once in your life you’ve smiled at someone and made their day because maybe you were the only person to smile at them that day or maybe you’ve said a kind word to someone and that was the only kind word spoken to them that day or maybe even longer. This is what makes humans “worthy” in my view. That we can do for others.
If you haven’t already-watch the movie “it’s a wonderful life”. Blessings.

 

[FghtinIrshNvrDi]

It’s important to distinguish between “feeling” worthy and “being” worthy. You are worthy in God’s eyes no matter what.

You might not feel worthy. That’s okay, people who have all the things you contrasted don’t feel worthy with frequency.

It sounds like you might need to get out and get outside yourself and your feelings and just start loving on people. Whether you’re volunteering or joining a group or whatever you might find fulfilling.

 

[total_Catholic]

It’s important to distinguish between “feeling” worthy and “being” worthy. You are worthy in God’s eyes no matter what.

You might not feel worthy. That’s okay, people who have all the things you contrasted don’t feel worthy with frequency.

It sounds like you might need to get out and get outside yourself and your feelings and just start loving on people. Whether you’re volunteering or joining a group or whatever you might find fulfilling.

Makes sense. A priest in confession today told me I am not exhibiting enough self discipline and when I take a step back, I can see that. I think once I am able to vanquish a lot of the bad habits, I can see that I am worth something to someone. Thanks guys.

 

[PRmerger]

I am 41, all alone, all my friends have moved on in life, never been married, in debt, overweight, basically a loner.

Your dignity comes not from your age, nor from the number of friends you have, your marital status, your financial portfolio, your weight or your ability to socialize.

Your dignity comes from the fact that you are a member of the human race.

You could do nothing at all and still be of immense worth to God who sees you with the greatest love of a Father.

 

[PseuTonym]

What makes a human fundamentally worthy?

It’s an interesting question. However, the body of your message is indicating that there is a more pressing concern.

I am 41, all alone,

You hope that in future you will not be all alone, isn’t that true?

never been married

Given the context, I am assuming that you mean more than absence of having entered into a legal marriage contract.

John 4
PseuTonym and the total Catholic Man

17 The man said, “I have never been married.” Pseutonym said to him, “You are right in saying, `I have never been married’;
18 for you have had five wives, and she whom you now have is not your wife; this you said truly.”
19 The total Catholic Man said to PseuTonym, "Fellow message board participant, I perceive that you aren’t a prophet. You are way off base. Next time, please ask questions about my personal experiences, instead of making accusations.

basically a loner.

if I were so special, why wouldn’t people tell me.

Perhaps they do not know you well enough to comment. They would have to confine themselves to commenting on something more specific. People – if they are prudent – judge based on what they know. They don’t know you, right?

56 second clip from a movie
youtube.com/watch?v=3Pa34orcwwA

			MOTHER 
		(Excited, gesturing with her hands) 
	What has the universe got to do with it?  
	You're here in Brooklyn!  Brooklyn is not 
	expanding!

Link:
dailyscript.com/scripts/annie_hall.html

Ignoring the title of the thread because of the context provided by the body of the thread, I observe that you desperately want companionship, and you dream of marriage, but …

you said nothing about what kind of woman you would to meet!

If you were dying from dehydration, then we would not ask you:
What kind of water would you like: mineral water, distilled water, plain cold water fresh from the municipal water supply, reverse-osmosis filtered municipal faucet water, Perrier imported from France …

However, every woman is a unique individual.

Why not begin by reading about what experiences other people are having …

Vocations (14 Viewing)
Priesthood religious life, marriage, discernment, prayers, and more

Family Life (62 Viewing)
Marriage, children, education, relatives, in-laws, advice

Parenting (8 Viewing)
Discuss issues related to pregnancy, childbirth and childrearing

For example, if you read about couples who are happy together and simply dealing with adverse circumstances coming from outside, then you can ask them how they met each other, and how they communicated with each other when they were first getting to know each other.

Maybe I just wasn’t well prepared for life. Just asking.

When did the preparation end and the living begin? You have been living outside the womb for 41 years, right? Maybe you should get a free trial of an online video service and watch the movie Dead Poets Society.

 

[PseuTonym]

I just realized that I have been assuming that the creator of this thread is a man, and that I could be wrong. If I guessed wrong, then I apologize. I didn’t realize that I was guessing. It was something in the style of the writing that gave me the impression of a man writing.

 

[Sacred_Heart_1]

I am 41, all alone, all my friends have moved on in life, never been married, in debt, overweight, basically a loner.

What makes somebody like me fundamentally worthy? I hear this all the time but it just doesn’t register. I told a priest once that I basically exist, I don’t live. So if I just go away, what is it about me that would make one care?

I’m sure my dad and my sister might miss me, but other than that and no I’m not gonna kill myself but I just truly wonderful and if I were so special, why wouldn’t people tell me.

Maybe I just wasn’t well prepared for life. Just asking.

If you want to be worthy take up your cross and follow Jesus. I’m in the same boat as you, I’m 35 and a loner. So what I do is just stick with Jesus. Jesus loves a person who is all alone.

 

[HelenRose]

I am 41, all alone, all my friends have moved on in life, never been married, in debt, overweight, basically a loner.

What makes somebody like me fundamentally worthy? I hear this all the time but it just doesn’t register. I told a priest once that I basically exist, I don’t live. So if I just go away, what is it about me that would make one care?

I’m sure my dad and my sister might miss me, but other than that and no I’m not gonna kill myself but I just truly wonderful and if I were so special, why wouldn’t people tell me.

Maybe I just wasn’t well prepared for life. Just asking.

First go see a doctor and make sure you don’t have some problem like hypothyroidism or some thing that can make you feel depressed, overweight and worthless.

Accept the fact that you are a loner. There is nothing wrong with being a loner. You probably feel uncomfortable around people and people can sense that even if they say nothing.

Recognize that most people are more interested in themselves than they are with you. Don’t blame them. I have found out over the years that most everyone feels inadequate. Some people are better at hiding that than others.

Be charitable with yourself but analyze your behavior and your attitudes. Talk to a priest and or a therapist.

Be honest with yourself and others. Don’t pretend to be something that you are not.

Do the work in Church that others do not want to do. Work on the Church grounds. Wash dishes. Be on the prayer chain. If you are on the prayer chain send cards to the those you are praying for. Take communion to the home bound. Volunteer at an nursing home.

It isn’t easy being a loner. But, there are steps you can take to become someone who can be seen as the child of God that you are.

 

[fisherman_carl]

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. “Who would like this $20 bill?”

Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this.”

He proceeded to crumple the 20 dollar note up. He then asked. “Who still wants it?” Still the hands were up in the air.

“Well,” he replied, “what if I do this?” He dropped it on the
ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now, who still wants it?”

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No
matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still
priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or who we know, but by …WHO WE ARE.

You are special - don’t ever forget it."

 

[ffg]

I am 41, all alone, all my friends have moved on in life, never been married, in debt, overweight, basically a loner.

What makes somebody like me fundamentally worthy? I hear this all the time but it just doesn’t register. I told a priest once that I basically exist, I don’t live. So if I just go away, what is it about me that would make one care?

I’m sure my dad and my sister might miss me, but other than that and no I’m not gonna kill myself but I just truly wonderful and if I were so special, why wouldn’t people tell me.

Maybe I just wasn’t well prepared for life. Just asking.

When we do something for someone else it becomes easier to see why we ‘are’ and why the Christian model - which is at it’s foundation is ‘to serve’ - is so attractive to the point that it has withstood the test of time and the constant attacks.

When the kids and I leave in the AM during the school year, a couple of our prayers are -

The guardian angel prayer for the sake of a safe drive.

Then we pray the St. Michael Prayer for three specific things -

~To be kept away from Evil

~To recognize (or seek) opportunities to serve and have the strength to act

~To crush homework (the kids like that one)

Perhaps start a day where you are going to consciously keep your eye open to serve.

It might be simply to wave when someone lets you in on the freeway, whether they did so purposefully or the spacing just worked out, doesn’t matter.

Just going for a walk can bring all kinds of opportunities.

Keep fighting for the Good. Keep your eye on the Cross, God is knows you well.

Take care,

Mike

Oh, and thank you for sharing, that act was quite helpful to many who are in similar situations as well as all of us who get to think about the thread.