What should I say without sounding "judgemental"?

[GodBlessJoanie]

Hello everyone,
I have a Catholic guy in my office (50) who says he’s a practicing Catholic and is even considering becoming a DEACON!

Yet every Friday he goes with his boss to HOOTER’S <> but satan is subltle as HOOTER’S is listed as a family restaurant!

The girls wear really short shorts <> and their tops are short and tight.

OK you get the picture…

When I told him “I can believe YOU’RE going there” he said it was between him and God.

I told him going promotes LUST!

I told him that the rule I use is that if the Blessed Mother wouldn’t go there I WON’T EITHER…

What else can I say/mention about this to have the light bulb go off?

Prayerfully,
Joanie

 

[geezerbob]

You tried and he told you that it was none of your business. That’s all you can do. The seed has been planted, though, and someday it may take root and grow. In the meantime, pray.

 

[JimG]

I’ve heard that some people have their kids’ birthday parties at Hooters.

Well, at least it’s not a strip joint. As you say, it’s promoted as a family restaurant.

 

[adnauseum]

It’s not between him and God.

He put money in the pockets of the culture of death.

I’d call that a crime against all of us.

 

[cameron_lansing]

Between him, God, and a billion Catholics who form the body of Christ on earth, that is. Not to mention all women, created in the image and likeness of God, and given inalienable human dignity as persons by divine law.

As a former deacon director of 13 years, I thought I’d heard it all. Even the guy who heard Saint Joseph telling him to get ordained a deacon so he could work his way up to pope. But he only heard that when he went off his medication.

Our 50 year old adolescent probably has no idea of what would happen to him at an interview to begin discerning the vocation, what pointed questions would be asked, how the (name removed by moderator)ut of parishioners would be sought, and what qualities the Church is demanding of aspirants to the diaconate.

The Church happens to be very judgmental about the moral character it wants in its clergy and lay ministers. Then too there are the little things we call particular and final judgment. You’ve discharged your duty.

Why isn’t he out visiting the sick, feeding the hungry, or sheltering the homeless on his Fridays? That’s what we look for, not this type. Maybe someone should tell him that.

 

[GodBlessJoanie]

cameron_lansing:

Between him, God, and a billion Catholics who form the body of Christ on earth, that is. Not to mention all women, created in the image and likeness of God, and given inalienable human dignity as persons by divine law.

As a former deacon director of 13 years, I thought I’d heard it all. Even the guy who heard Saint Joseph telling him to get ordained a deacon so he could work his way up to pope. But he only heard that when he went off his medication.

Our 50 year old adolescent probably has no idea of what would happen to him at an interview to begin discerning the vocation, what pointed questions would be asked, how the (name removed by moderator)ut of parishioners would be sought, and what qualities the Church is demanding of aspirants to the diaconate.

The Church happens to be very judgmental about the moral character it wants in its clergy and lay ministers. Then too there are the little things we call particular and final judgment. You’ve discharged your duty.

Why isn’t he out visiting the sick, feeding the hungry, or sheltering the homeless on his Fridays? That’s what we look for, not this type. Maybe someone should tell him that.

Thank you Deacon for that insight! You are correct. AND WHAT A SMALL WORLD as I had the opportunity to meet Deacon Bill Sirl from the Diaconial Program of the Diocese of Lansing…you must know him!

Blessings to you!
Joanie

 

[Gilbert_Keith]

If he frequents Hooters, that is very possibly the tip if his iceberg. The people responsible for helping him discern his vocation to the diaconate will pick up clues here and there that will sooner or later disqualify him as a candidate.

He is most likely rather unrealistic about many aspects of his life and all that will come out in the wash …

As others have said, you did your best to plant the seed. Just be prepared to see it fall on barren ground.

 

[space_ghost]

…i feel you have done your duty… now don’t let him catch you there…

Peace:thumbsup:

http://mediasoftware.free.fr/index.1.jpg

 

[YinYangMom]

Well, I think about the story Christopher West tells about the two bishops walking down the road as a prostitute about to be condemned is paraded before them…one bishop turns his head away and appeals to the other to not look. The other looks the woman in the eyes as she passes by and exclaims to the other “Did you see her beauty?”

Christopher goes on to say that both bishops were correct in their response…the one who had the need to turn away lest he be prey to lustful thoughts did…the other, who only saw the woman for the complete and total person of Christ she was, was also correct.

Does this man frequent Hooters because a group of regular co-workers choose the location?

Does he go there for the commeraderie and the food?

Does he go there to lust over the waitresses?

Does he go there as an opportunity to help change his fellow co-workers over time?

 

[Brad]

GodBlessJoanie:

Hello everyone,
I have a Catholic guy in my office (50) who says he’s a practicing Catholic and is even considering becoming a DEACON!

Yet every Friday he goes with his boss to HOOTER’S <> but satan is subltle as HOOTER’S is listed as a family restaurant!

The girls wear really short shorts <> and their tops are short and tight.

OK you get the picture…

When I told him “I can believe YOU’RE going there” he said it was between him and God.

I told him going promotes LUST!

I told him that the rule I use is that if the Blessed Mother wouldn’t go there I WON’T EITHER…

What else can I say/mention about this to have the light bulb go off?

Prayerfully,
Joanie

If that is between him and God then he has no business becoming a Deacon. After all, won’t he be guiding people in life decisions? These decisions would be between them and God (according to him) and don’t require any Deacon (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[felra]

YinYangMom:

Well, I think about the story Christopher West tells about the two bishops walking down the road as a prostitute about to be condemned is paraded before them…one bishop turns his head away and appeals to the other to not look. The other looks the woman in the eyes as she passes by and exclaims to the other “Did you see her beauty?”

Christopher goes on to say that both bishops were correct in their response…the one who had the need to turn away lest he be prey to lustful thoughts did…the other, who only saw the woman for the complete and total person of Christ she was, was also correct.

Does this man frequent Hooters because a group of regular co-workers choose the location?

Does he go there for the commeraderie and the food?

Does he go there to lust over the waitresses?

Does he go there as an opportunity to help change his fellow co-workers over time?

In all due respect, this conjucture is more than a stretch, its ridiculous. It only provides a rationale to turn vice into a virtue and Hooters into a missionary ground that requires our patronage. Please, you do not have to participate in the occasional of sin or the sin of scandal to give credible, compelling witness to the Gospel. I can hear him repeatidly telling his wife upon returning home, “Sorry honey I am late again, I was giving my living witness to the Gospel at Hooters again”. Take your pick: :banghead: :nope: