What should one do with erotic thoughts?

[newcatholicwife]

Jesus said that any man who even looks at a woman with lust has already commited adultry with her in his heart.
I strongly believe that any sexual thought we knowingly allow or produce about anyone other than our future spouse is true sin.

 

[PRAYER51]

I think we need to be careful what we allow ourselves to think about. Jesus was trying to tell us to be careful with our thoughts because they can lead us into greater sin. He was prophetic in making this statement BTW…look at all the porn online now…it’s much easier to look at people more lustfully today than in His day and age.

 

[newcatholicwife]

I think we need to be careful what we allow ourselves to think about. Jesus was trying to tell us to be careful with our thoughts because they can lead us into greater sin. He was prophetic in making this statement BTW…look at all the porn online now…it’s much easier to look at people more lustfully today than in His day and age.

I really think porn is adultry and basically cheating if youre married. Todays society says naaaaa and sugar coats it but Im definite Jesus meant what he said literally. I think that may be one big factor in so many affairs/divorces.

 

[PRAYER51]

I absolutely agree with you about porn being adultery, not to mention the fact that users are supporting the destruction of other people’s souls, including their own. I take Jesus at his word too…lust destroys people and is not love at all. You’re also right about porn leading to even greater destruction, divorces, affairs etc… Porn should be criminalized in my opinion…so should strip clubs, prostitution.

 

[ethereality]

Porn should be criminalized in my opinion…so should strip clubs, prostitution.

That’s actually Church teaching, not just your opinion. See the Catechism (I’ve added bold formatting):

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

 

[kittyplant]

How does one best deal with sexual fantasies when striving for a chaste life? I am a single young adult and discerning God’s vocation for me (currently in graduate school). I have sexual fantasies, often regarding physically impossible actions and other-worldly relationships (that is, if we postulate another world where biology is different, then relationships that would not work in this world could work in this other world).

At first glance, I am inclined to think that these impossible and not-already-given-by-God (i.e. not of this world) elements are unhealthy insofar as they entice one to prefer fantasy to reality. However, to condemn indulging in fantastic thoughts, it seems one must also condemn all comic books, e.g. Spiderman, Superman, indeed, perhaps even all fantasy (e.g. Lord of the Rings).

On one hand, I think that if I write these fantasies down (in a password-protected digital document), I will be able to analyze them later and ascertain why God did not create the world in this way – why such a scenario would be contrary to God’s wisdom, if in fact God does not intend for us to progress to this level* via science (it is sometimes an assumption to say that God doesn’t intend for us to live in such or so a way). In this way I can come to grow in respect for God’s wisdom, and knowledge of reality, why God created the world as He did and why we lack so many abilities (biological possibilities, etc).

On the other hand, writing down these sexual fantasies elicits a sexual response – it seems that by writing short stories, I tend to relate to various characters, and hence ‘live the scenario in my mind’, if that makes sense. Put another way, we know from physiological study that we respond to mental stimuli. So the question is whether it is a near occasion of sin, and, if so, if it is one that should be avoided. The Catechism says, While it seems obvious that writing stories can “stimulate the genital organs”, the question is whether the motive is “to derive sexual pleasure”, or if it is, as I suggested above, “to analyze these fantasies and grow in respect for God …”

Moreover, in the past, writing down sexual fantasies elicits a sexual response, I analyze the story later, discover why its elements are contrary to God’s design/wisdom, and cease to be bothered by them during the day. When I try to avoid thinking about it, the thoughts linger, and I continue to be bothered by them. It seems then that writing down sexual fantasies is also a method to overcome them. Perhaps a related question, then: What kind of sexual exploration, if any, is morally admissible?

What do you think? How should one deal with erotic thoughts? Is it acceptable to engage oneself in fantasy of any kind? If so, what makes some fantasies acceptable but others not?

• By ‘progress to this level’ I mean to gain various abilities, e.g. biological mechanisms. Currently we are finite in proportion to our abilities. By “progressing to a new level” I mean gaining additional abilities. A current example would be increasing longevity through cancer cures and enhanced diets.

this all sounds needlessly complicated :-/ i would think you probably have a lot of baloney you need to cut out of your life. maybe spiderman is not officially a sin but i would say fantasy like comics, your own stories, movies etc are usually a waste of time. lotr is only good as far as it might make people think about christianity. if youre already catholic and reading the bible and going to church what good is it? derive entertainment by helping others, serving others, praying fellowshipping. social things that keep you awake with reality. dont get too academic, analytical about stuff. trash the sexual fantasies whether theyre otherworldly or whatever. wake up.