What Teens will do in Church!

[HouseArrest]

Now I was one of those parents with the bottle of juice and the bag of cheerios (which I dispensed one by one into a baby mouth. The bag was not sprinkled about like confetti.) And a little purse full of small fuzzy quiet toys and books on the saints.

Having spent most of my parental life going to church alone with three small children, I had to do SOMETHING to keep them quiet. But as soon as they were old enough to sit there and pay attention, the toys were taken away. I couldn’t take one child out, or we all had to leave. (Don’t say cry room… the women in there were talking through the Consecration about pediatricians and immunizations and formulas. Glares and pleading looks were met with complete obtuse continuation of the chatter.)

That makes me twice as angry at parents who let their kids be loud and disruptive. Sometimes I felt I barely got anything out of Mass because I spent the whole time managing the children’s behavior. I didn’t allow my children to be disruptive. I really resent it when other parents don’t even try to rein in their little darlings.

It is a struggle, isn’t it? Four of our children are at the age where they need to attend Mass every week and it’s difficult to decide whether to split them up so they behave better or go as a family. We currently split them up. But sometimes they still misbehave. I guess they are a work in progress, though, and I hope the people around us can be patient with us! One thing I WILL NOT do is allow them to go to the restroom during Mass. They ask EVERY WEEK! I suppose their persistence will serve them well in their adult lives but right now it’s driving me crazy! We had a circus going on at Mass on Christmas Eve this year because we all went together and had the little ones with us, the pews were extra crowded, and we had to go really early. I know we caused a ruckus.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

It is a struggle, isn’t it? Four of our children are at the age where they need to attend Mass every week and it’s difficult to decide whether to split them up so they behave better or go as a family. We currently split them up. But sometimes they still misbehave. I guess they are a work in progress, though, and I hope the people around us can be patient with us! One thing I WILL NOT do is allow them to go to the restroom during Mass. They ask EVERY WEEK! I suppose their persistence will serve them well in their adult lives but right now it’s driving me crazy! We had a circus going on at Mass on Christmas Eve this year because we all went together and had the little ones with us, the pews were extra crowded, and we had to go really early. I know we caused a ruckus.

There were a few things my parents did when I was younger.

1. Everyone went to the bathroom before Mass started.
2. Mom and Dad sat between my sister and I. Me next to my dad and my sister next to my mom. I always likes watching my parents sit and hold hands during Mass

There was a family with six children. The kids all sat int he very front row with their parents behind them. If one of the kids was misbehaving, a hand went on the shoulder to remind them to pay attention. I rarely saw that happen, though.

 

[JustAnotherThou]

There was a family with six children. The kids all sat int he very front row with their parents behind them. If one of the kids was misbehaving, a hand went on the shoulder to remind them to pay attention. I rarely saw that happen, though.

Ok, so I don’t know how to quote right on here, I have tried to edit it, it does not like me. Anyway, This was practiced pretty much with every family in the parish I grew up in. Nothing like having your parents and/or grandparents stareing down your neck!!

 

[Guitar]

Guitar - I have a 20 yo son that is 6’2", 240lbs. (all muscle). He is helping my father on the family farm 3 states away, therefore he was not at Mass with me. When I talked to him the following morning, he was the one that reminded me that, even though I am half his size, if he would have done that I would have pulled him out of Church by his ear and smashed the CD player on the front steps and make him clean up every little piece. And I know he knows I would have done this if I would have given him a warning or not!! I think he learned that when he was in 3rd grade and he was sent home with a note telling me he was talking too much during class. When I took off a day of work the following week and sat behind him at school the whole day, and then made him work 8.5 hours for me to make up for the time I missed at work, he knew!

My point exactly - you trained your child and directly or indirectly he had been well and truly warned!

(Guess I’ve just seen one too many instance of parents who never explained things to their kids or corrected them then exploded one day, publicly humiliating them or destroying their possessions, and then wondered why they can’t communicate with their resentful and “sulky” children.)

 

[pnewton]

If you train your child right, this issue still may or may not occur. It is surely less likely, but sometimes rebellion gets the best of teenagers. But let me throw a different light on the subject. Some parents do not raise their children right because they live estranged from the Church. Do we wish to deny them their right to come back to the Lord and criticize their conversion because they start with kids that have zero idea what proper Mass behavior is? This issue came up at our Church with a family that had younger children that were unholy terrors in Mass. I fought my initial instinct and welcomed them, trying to make their kids feel welcome and not rejected. I know it may be a long road re-training kids in this situation, but I see no viable option that does not involve snottiness and elitism.

 

[HouseArrest]

There were a few things my parents did when I was younger.

1. Everyone went to the bathroom before Mass started.
2. Mom and Dad sat between my sister and I. Me next to my dad and my sister next to my mom. I always likes watching my parents sit and hold hands during Mass

There was a family with six children. The kids all sat int he very front row with their parents behind them. If one of the kids was misbehaving, a hand went on the shoulder to remind them to pay attention. I rarely saw that happen, though.

Great ideas, except they are not asking to go to the bathroom because they have to go to the bathroom, if you know what I mean. And when we go to Mass together, it goes kid, parent, kid, parent holding kid, kid, kid, kid, kid. So separation kind of works…

We do have other ways of working on it, though, like I said we are currently going to two different Masses with 4 of the kids. I do like to sit up front because the kids usually behave better, but when they aren’t, well, it is a long walk to the back of the church. Just about 2 months ago I had two of them at Mass with me, in the front, and the 6 year old boy was not behaving at all. I looked around and found someone for my daughter to go sit with and told her that the next time her brother acted up I was taking him out of Mass and she was supposed to go sit with her aunt. Then of course he acted up. I picked him up and took him right home - and back to Mass the next day. That solved the problem of misbehavior for about a month… I might need to do it again.

 

[BlestOne]

This reminds me of one day about 5 years ago… I was so mad at the kids not behaving (just the general poking, touching annoying each other at mass), I came out of church got in the car grabbed a pen and paper and wrote this:
K-A-K-K-A-K
then I asked them to figure out what it was… they all looked at it for a while and when the last one gave up I told them it was the new seating chart for mass (K=kid, A=adult)… notice every kid has a parent on one side of them… They got really quiet when I did that! I have had very few problems since… and I never really had to implement “plan b.”

I also want to thank PuzzleAnnie… Most of the kids I know at our parish are like the ones you described… but the ones who aren’t…ohhhh!!! Would I like to invite them to sit near me!!! Honestly though… not that I am judging, but what really annoys me is when kids go up for communion looking like they are too cool to show reverence for the body and blood…errrrrr!!!