What to do about someone who's not over you

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EasterJoy said:
Yes. If you come out and say, “you’re a nice guy, I’ve enjoyed the text conversations, but unfortunately I don’t see anything romantic growing from my end”, then he knows you only want a platonic acquaintanceship. If you just fail to reply to his communiques, he may just think you’re really busy or you unintentionally flaked out or whatever. He won’t know, and if he doesn’t know he won’t want to lose out by jumping to the conclusion that he has no chance to make the A list.
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Yup. Just a bit of a warning, though, some men may interpret a hesitant voice or manner, or lack of confidence, as not being decided on the matter, so they may keep pressing. But being polite and respectful helps a guy deal with it like a man, minimising the hurt (and reducing the chance he will become a dysfunctional relationship partner for somebody else).
 
chevalier said:
Yup. Just a bit of a warning, though, some men may interpret a hesitant voice or manner, or lack of confidence, as not being decided on the matter, so they may keep pressing. But being polite and respectful helps a guy deal with it like a man, minimising the hurt (and reducing the chance he will become a dysfunctional relationship partner for somebody else).
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So more like, “you’re a nice guy, I’ve enjoyed the text conversations, if you’re only interested in being pleasant acquaintances, that would be great, but if you’re going to pursue anything romantic with me, this needs to be over. No offense meant, but I am not up for that. Being “just friends” with a guy who really wants you as a girlfriend just does not work. Besides, a good man who deserves to find someone serious deserves far better than that. I am not going there.”

PS When he says, “why not? Why not give it a try?” then you just say “No means no. I don’t draw pictures and I don’t accept counter-arguments. Period. I think you’ve answered the question about the “just friends” thing, though. You aren’t ready to just live with that, there is no reason to go in circles, so my answer is that this needs to be over.”
 
Ok, I know this is a really old thread. Some days ago, I ‘saw’ this guy again. He liked me on a dating app. The system allows for conversation if both parties liked each other.

So it appears he’s single and (still) looking. Pray that he finds someone soon.
 
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