What to do after a mid-term miscarriage?

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Rosalinda

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A family member miscarried in her fifth month of pregnancy; she requested the body of her child after it was delivered stillborn in the hospital. She has since put the remains of her daughter in the backyard garden.

This brings up the question what should she have done with her daughter and are there guidelines for these circumstances which are recommended? Why aren’t these children given proper burials and funerals?
 
I am sorry to hear that she lost the baby…but i have to say burying it in the backyard is just GROSS. They do have places for dead bodies…a cemetary.
 
My wife and I suffered four miscarriages. On the last two occasions, we were at a Catholic hospital outside of Milwaukee. This hospital (and presumably the other Catholic hospitals in this Archdiocese) provides for the burial of the remains in a specially designated “Babyland” at one of the local Catholic cemeteries.

This was a real blessing for our family. Perhaps other dioceses offer similar services.
 
Not to mention the problems that might occur if they sell the home- and future owners decide to do some landscaping…

Grief makes us do very odd things sometimes. 😦

I would contact a priest to chat with him about this.
 
EWW! Okay personal gross out over (sorta)!

Some areas have laws about proper disposal of human remains. I would want to find out if that area has any laws so she doesn’t wind up in prison. Then I would talk to her about putting the baby in a cemetary, or talk to a priest and see if they can talk to the family.
I have an online friend who went into labor at 25 weeks and the baby passed away. The baby was buried at a cemetary, and she now goes there regularly to visit her baby. I remember her struggle to find a marker that she liked to fit her little girl.
 
I am surprised that they were allowed to take the baby home. Where was this? Usually the family is given the choice for the hospital to make arrangements, or for the baby to be released to the mortuary of choice.
If they want to have the baby with them, they could have her cremated and have the remains to keep. I have a friend in my support group who had her daughter cremated because she couldn’t bear to have her daughter in a cemetery and then move away.
Certainly a memorial service is appropriate. We had a graveside service and a Catholic burial for my son. He is buried in the Catholic Cemetery where several generations of my husband’s familiy lie.
www.nationalshareoffice.com has a wealth of information about memorial services and rights of parents when a child dies. They have online support, as well as contact infomation for local support groups.
 
I would bet that if the local ordnances/laws are checked they are in violation. They could be in for some expensive legal troubles if people turn them in.
 
My heart goes out to the parents but that can’t be right. Each locality, i.e., city, county or state, has regulations on the disposal of human remains. The logical place is a family plot in an accredited and supervised cemetary. I would also recommend some serious counseling for someone who would bury a human in the backyard.
 
Kitty Katt suggested:
Some areas have laws about proper disposal of human remains. I would want to find out if that area has any laws so she doesn’t wind up in prison.
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Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut however I very much doubt anyone is this country is breaking any law: an unborn human being is not recognized by law as ever existing.
 
No, but there could still be serious issues for your family member should the remains ever be found. She could be suspected of a serious crime.

Contact the diocese and see if they have an idea of what would normally be done in this situation.
 
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Rosalinda:
Kitty Katt suggested:

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut however I very much doubt anyone is this country is breaking any law: an unborn human being is not recognized by law as ever existing.
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Actually here in the Garden State it is a crime to bury human remains on your property…the only acceptable thing to do (legal) is be buried in a cemetary or be cremated.
 
Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. It gave me the courage to talk to my mother and to suggest her greatgrandchild be buried in her cemetary plot. She seemed fine with the idea; hopefully, the young family will give this invitation serious consideration.

As for burying “human remains” neither Parliament nor the Supreme Court of Canada has recognized the humanity of the unborn child. That is the crux of the issue: these children are treated like garbage and are disposed of as such. Canadian politicians have repeatedly rejected that life begins at conception.

At least my niece understood the humanity of her child enough to request she be delivered intact and not torn into pieces for an easier extraction of her dead daughter.
 
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