What to do if a dear friend betrays you?

[abdulmasih]

I’ve had it done to me twice. Both betrayals were the lowest, most abhorrent kinds. I still carry scars because one of them disowned me publicly.

 

[mik3]

Forgive them, pray for them, give your sufferings to Jesus through Mary.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Being betrayed by a friend is the worst betrayal.
It causes such pain and you feel so humiliated.
Take care of yourself and love yourself.
I forgave my friend, but realized the friendship was not healthy and I no longer have contact with this person.
I still have other friends who respect me and have never betrayed me.
I do not miss the friendship I broke off.

 

[Catholic1954]

I’ve had it done to me twice. Both betrayals were the lowest, most abhorrent kinds. I still carry scars because one of them disowned me publicly.

Forgive them, but discontinue the friendship; you don’t have to put up with betrayal, twice or a third time.

 

[abdulmasih]

Forgive them, but discontinue the friendship; you don’t have to put up with betrayal, twice or a third time.

Thank you.

 

[dynahmik]

Being betrayed by a friend is the worst betrayal.
It causes such pain and you feel so humiliated.
Take care of yourself and love yourself.
I forgave my friend, but realized the friendship was not healthy and I no longer have contact with this person.
I still have other friends who respect me and have never betrayed me.
I do not miss the friendship I broke off.

I agree with you. I had a friend that I took care of and looked out for, and I treated her like my own sister. She had problems growing up and told me that she was glad to have a true and close friend who was like an older brother to her. We would talk to each other if anything was bothering us, and knew secrets about each other that we both promised not to tell anyone. However, she desperately sought after the attention of others. She basically told many of her friends about some personal things that I really did not want her sharing. One of the people that she told was a close friend of mine, who told me about it. He was surprised when I asked him how he knew, and he told me that she was telling almost everyone she knew. She was basically trying to gain the fear and respect and admiration of people from doing so. When I confronted her about it, she kept on lying to me, even after a certain point when I told her that if she came clean and told me the truth and stop lying to me, I would not hold it against her and would not be angry about it and it would not change things between us. (I truly meant it) But of course, she still maintained her story, despite being caught red handed. I know that somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that I knew she was lying, because she was sweating heavily, got very nervous, and her voice changed and was very shaky. She tried to save the friendship afterwards, when she got home. She sent me text messages and called trying to make excuses for her actions and what not, and admitted to having lied to me. By this point though, I was already very disappointed and heartbroken. There have been some things that happened between us that were just as bad (if not worst) that had already been having a toll on me. And so after what happened that night, I felt that I really could not associate with someone like her, where I am at now, because it just brings too much pain and negativity in my life, and I am not strong enough to handle such things at this moment. I forgive her for the wrong she has done to me, but the relationship was just too unhealthy for me. I still talk to her once in a long while, but I honestly feel that the most we could ever be is normal friends. I no longer miss the friendship that we once had because I know that she will somehow always bring pain and negativity to the friendship (its a harsh thing to say but it is the truth). She would always say that we were close friends and what not, but her actions always proved otherwise. From all those times she lied to me and backstabbed me, to only talking to me if she needed a favour or something of the like, …etc. I knew that she did not mean the words she would say.

With that being said though, I do have friends who have always looked out for me and taken care of me. They have never lied to me or backstabbed me. They are there to help me through tough times and genuinely care about me. They support me in my goals in life and encourage me to be a better servant of God. I could tell that they were really true friends, not only from the words that they speak, but because it is also reflective in their actions. These are the people that are truly my friends and I am sincerely thankful for them.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Yes. I was always a forgiving person and would always continue with the relationships, but then I realized these people were not growing and not accepting responsibility for themselves emotionally. They were in pain and were not “safe”. I feel good about myself that I took steps to protect mysel against further hurt and pain.

 

[ready]

I’ve had it done to me twice. Both betrayals were the lowest, most abhorrent kinds. I still carry scars because one of them disowned me publicly.

Forgive and do good to your enemies, like Jesus commands us to do. And carry on. God bless you.