What to do if parents are using birth control

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Lionel_Beezus

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I’m worried that they won’t have access to heaven. Here’s what I know…
  1. They are devout people who undoubtedly love God
  2. They are aware of the Catholic teaching against using birth control (pills)
  3. They are NOT aware of mortal sin or the consequences, and truly believe that they aren’t doing anything terribly wrong. They might be under the notion that they are only committing a minor sin if any at all.
I have not had the chance to sit down and talk with them and am scared to do so. Until then, does anybody here have any consolation or harsh truth about the destination of my parents?
 
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Do you mind if I ask… How do you know they are practicing birth control my friend?
 
My mother has a very personal relationship with my sister. I have no idea how the conversation went down, but she revealed somehow to my sister that she had been using them since college (since her mother had recommended them.)

Although raised by devout people, I was never educated on mortal sin and its consequences until I moved into college and a new parish with a more informative priest. This led to me having talks with my sister, who is at this parish with me, and came across this knowledge as I did. As we discussed faith a little, she told me that she was worried about our parents. In a way you could say I don’t KNOW, but I have reason to believe they are.
 
They are your parents, not your children. Pray for them and otherwise mind your own business. This is an inappropriate area for you to insert yourself.
 
Ask a priest and he will help you figure out the right course of action. Pray for them daily.
 
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I disagree. As unconventional as it is for a son to talk to parents about this type of thing, It is worth helping them on their journey to heaven. It’s uncomfortable and awkward, yes, but I love my parents. I think my most likely course of action is to tell them about mortal sins, and allude to the fact that using contraceptives is a mortal sin. I don’t have to explicitly state that I know that they’ve committed any specific sin. They can draw that conclusion.
 
I would somehow start a conversation about sex/contraception and the Church to see if they’re aware or not.

I don’t think you have to go around accusing them, because it may not be your place but perhaps an open conversation about mortal sin may give you an idea of what to do next.
 
I see. This is sensible. I would never consider approaching it as an accusation, of course.
 
Lionel_Beezus said:
They are aware of the Catholic teaching against using birth control (pills)
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Lionel_Beezus said:
They are NOT aware of mortal sin or the consequences, and truly believe that they aren’t doing anything terribly wrong.
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Warning. Tread Carefully.

If your parents are aware of the Church’s stance on Birth Control, they’re very likely aware of Mortal sin.

Personally, I’d advise against getting involved in this matter. It’s incredibly personal and very volatile. My guess, your parents have made a personal decision and understand the consequences.
 
OP, I think you posted somewhere that you’re 19 years old. Also, you got this information second hand from your sister. Your parents have not confided in you yourself about their birth control habits.

If your sister is worried about what her mother told her, then it’s your sister’s responsibility to say something to your mom, with whom Sister has a “personal relationship”.

You on the other hand don’t seem to have the kind of “personal relationship” with your parents where they discuss their birth control habits with you. It would be inappropriate for you to bring up the subject. You would be best off praying for them and perhaps encouraging your sister to express her concern to your mother.

As someone said, your parents are your parents, not your children. You don’t have a right to barge in on their lives when they chose to not share information with you.
 
Lionel_Beezus said:
I disagree. As unconventional as it is for a son to talk to parents about this type of thing, It is worth helping them on their journey to heaven. It’s
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I guess I missed the commandment to berate your father and mother. I thought it said something about honor. In other words, your role and that of your parents are different.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
I guess I missed the commandment to berate your father and mother. I thought it said something about honor. In other words, your role and that of your parents are different.
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Being concerned about your parents salvation is honoring them. The OP does need to aporoach it carefully though.
 
If your parents are of an age to have lived through the Second Vatican Council, they might truly believe that contraception is only a venial sin because many priests, especially in the US, were telling their parishioners at that time that it was a matter for each individual conscience to decide.

Things have been clarified since then, but they might not be aware that what they were told back then by their priests was a matter of confusion from what came out of the Council. To be a mortal sin they would have to know that it is a serious and grave offence, and it doesn’t sound like they do.

I am not sure it is your place to correct them. Certainly pray for them as you are so worried.
 
I have heard! Suddenly everything in marriage makes sense and comes together because of it:)
 
A very good insight. Her uses are really none of my business. Either way, the use of contraceptives is always sinful except for the specific case where you’re using them to prevent a deadly disease. At least that’s what I’ve read on other forums. I think I need to talk to a priest about this, so I will do so.
 
Lionel_Beezus said:
I would never consider approaching it as an accusation, of course.
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That’s good. I wouldn’t advise telling my parents that what they’re doing is wrong unless they told me themselves. I would just have a general conversation about what I know to plant seeds, if you will.

Thankfully I was never in such an awkward situation about a personal issue. My experience with correcting my father wasn’t that bad (me telling him that his actions were wrong in a more light hearted tone). Of course, all I got was an acknowledgment but no change.

But that’s fine. It’s not your duty to make them do the right thing. You can just be general about it because it’s not your place.
Lionel_Beezus said:
Either way, the use of contraceptives is always sinful except for the specific case where you’re using them to prevent a deadly disease
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This isn’t true. Contraception is only sinful if you’re using it to prevent pregnancy. People are allowed to use it to relieve cramps, prevent acne etc.
 
If you mention to your parents about birth control you can bring up the use of NFP instead.

Have you studied history on Christian belief of contraception?

Contraception might of played an important part in Scott and Kimberly Hahn’s conversion.

There’s the Book Rome sweet home you can check out concerning them and the previous episodes of them on The Journey home program.

I’d reccomend you study more on why the church is against contraception if needed.

If you’d like you can message me on here and I can try to send you links to stuff. 🌻

Don’t forget to pray for them and yourself. ❤️
 
Interesting. I believe either one or both of my parents have read Rome Sweet Home. If this is true, then I can’t imagine that they don’t know what they’re doing. Perhaps this is a sign I should stay put of it. And maybe read this book as well:)

I’ll admit I’m not well educated on the Church’s teaching on birth control. I’ve only touched the surface of why and how we’re expected to go without using it. Personally, I think the idea of NFP is beautiful. Without going into too much detail, it is so incredibly healthy that a couple would be able to do this. I think what I know on contraception is sufficient. If I were to need to know more, it would be because I’d want to educate or help someone else who approached me about it. But, since my parents seem to have made an educated decision, I should really stay out of it.
 
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