What to do if your Pastor will not respond?

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godisgood77

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Hello!

What does one do if they have raised concerns with their pastor multiple times, but have not been able to garner even a response? Is it appropriate to escape to the Bishop or to the deanery?

Thanks!
 
godisgood77 said:
What does one do if they have raised concerns with their pastor multiple times, but have not been able to garner even a response? Is it appropriate to escape to the Bishop or to the deanery?
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It depends upon the nature of the concerns. If they are about liturgy or pastoral care then put it in writing first.
 
There are a handful of concerns that have built up…liturgy and pastoral in nature.

I’m typically slow to move to an escalation and try to give the benefit of the doubt. I have reached out him on three separate occasions in writing. In those correspondence, I tried to give him a sense of my concerns at a high level and asked for an opportunity to discuss… yet, he’s not interested in have a dialogue.
 
Make an appointment to speak to him in person, not just after mass.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Make an appointment to speak to him in person, not just after mass.
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I’ve attempted to schedule an appointment to speak… he has not responded.

Appreciate your advice… I’ll keep trying, but will likely also contact the Bishops office.
 
Have you called the parish office to make an appointment, or do you mean you wrote him a letter asking to speak? You need to call the office.

I think the bishop is gone to after you have spoken to the priest, which you have not.
 
It’s entirely possible that he
  1. disagrees with you
  2. he feels your concerns are ill placed
  3. he does not care to discuss it with you
    Wanting to correct the clergy is a common thing for many Catholics. He is your pastor.
    If you simply cannot abide what is happening in your parish you can go to another parish.
    I feel very strongly that if you push this, you will be very disappointed by the response. Both from him, and quite possibly from the Bishop.
    Priests gets literally dozens of complaints, some well founded, but some just opinions.
    They are people, Pray for him and approach him in charity. Not assuming that you have not, but the one thing you can change is yourself. Lent is a beautiful time to pray for patience. I’ve never once met a priest who operated by vote and congregational opinion. I hope that whatever it is can be resolved for all concerned, in some way that is spiritually beneficial.
    God bless.
 
I think it depends on the nature of your issues: if they are about liturgical abuse (for example, communicants taking the cup from the altar and drinking and then putting it back on the altar for the next person…) or some sort of criminal activity (the business manager is embezzling), then I would put my concerns clearly in an e-mail or letter.

If there was no response, I’d send it to a broader audience–for example, to everyone on the parish council. Still no response? Write the bishop. Still no response? Go to another parish!

But if it’s a matter of taste–you prefer certain types of music, you wish he would say the words of the Mass slower, you don’t like his sermons, etc.–then you are free to state your preferences, but you shouldn’t expect much to change, and there’s no point of bringing in other parties (parish council, bishop).

And of course nothing is forcing you to have anything to do with that parish. Simply go to another parish–easy enough in an urban area.
 
Tulitas said:
disagrees with you - Very likely as I’m raising concerns about some of his actions
he feels your concerns are ill placed - Likely again
he does not care to discuss it with you - Obviously given that he hasn’t agreed to meet. After a few letters and message with his office manager

Wanting to correct the clergy is a common thing for many Catholics. He is your pastor. - I haven’t expressed desire to correct him… only to discuss a few matters. I can’t help it if he reads in to the matter.

If you simply cannot abide what is happening in your parish you can go to another parish. - That’s the easy answer, of course. Kids are in the school, so more complicated. Would rather have the opportunity to discuss like adults before running to the next parish.

I feel very strongly that if you push this, you will be very disappointed by the response. Both from him, and quite possibly from the Bishop. - Fair enough… already disappointed, but would like to get closure.

Priests gets literally dozens of complaints, some well founded, but some just opinions.- I’m sensitive to that fact. That is why I haven’t complained. I expressed some concerns that I’d like to discuss and asked that my comments be taken fraternally and with the recognition of positive intent. I really can’t do more than that.

They are people, Pray for him and approach him in charity. Not assuming that you have not, but the one thing you can change is yourself. Lent is a beautiful time to pray for patience. I’ve never once met a priest who operated by vote and congregational opinion. I hope that whatever it is can be resolved for all concerned, in some way that is spiritually beneficial. - Agree… It’s just unfortunate a pastor would be closed to a discussion with a parishioner. For you parents out there… imagine refusing to speak with your child about one of their concerns and providing not context.

God bless.
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I’ve left another VM with his office… we’ll see.
 
Praying it turns out well. Perhaps he’s just a terribly disorganized person. Who knows.
It is frustrating, I know.
Peace.
 
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