What to do when I'm completely lost at 19?

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Girardi

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Hey there,

I’m 19 years old and I have no idea what to do. I don’t want to get into details, it doesn’t matter now - let’s just say something happened and it’s so so so difficult to … I don’t even know how to express it. It changed everything.

I know the obvious advice is to pray - of course I pray, I talk to God, I go to church some days during the workweek, but… I still don’t know what to do. It’s like I’m sitting at home all the time, pray few times a day, then some days I go to church… and I still don’t know what to do. Nothing changes.

I’m just in a situation where unless something happens I have almost nothing else to do other than sit at home and look straigt into a wall (yeah I can watch TV, but you get the idea). My family is pressing me to do what they think is right for me, I just know that I would hate every day of it.

I don’t even know whether there’s anything else you can tell me other than Belive that God has a plan for you. But I’m like a player 3 minutes before a Super Bowl starts and the manager with a gameplan isn’t coming. I’m afraid I’ll spend all my 20s, 30s looking straight into that wall at home.

Thanks
 
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You mean to request people to pray for me? I don’t know… There are so many people having much bigger troubles than I do that need prayers more than I do
 
My little suggestion is to star a little journal. They are helpful. Write for a week and then look back. Peace.
 
When I’m completely derailed, it sit down and write out exactly what’s wrong. Every detail of it, and how I got to that point, and what I did wrong to make it happen, and what other people did wrong to make it happen.
And then I leave it for awhile and come back and try to figure out the action steps to fix the situation.
A lot of times, I don’t even have to leave it for very long. Just the act of writing sometimes brings clarity.
Good luck and ❤️
 
It´s good to hear that you spend time in Church and in prayer - that is great!
I still want to suggest that you talk to someone you trust about this situation. Most times, telling other people about our struggles and hard times helps relieving them.

May God help you and give you courage to seek guidance on this. May God reveal for you what He wants for you. May God give you His grace and lead you through your journey in your life. God bless you!
 
You have plenty to write about. Your brain is not a blank sheet. To start you might want to write a ‘homemade’ prayer now and then or a bit of poety. Pick up a pen and copy a text from the NT. Just remeber no one is asking for a novel.
 
It’s great that you go to mass. But OP, is it possible you have too much time on your hands if you have all of this time to sit and stare at walls? Perhaps you should consider looking for employment. Go to school. Volunteer at your church or a nursing home. Do something instead of do nothing.
 
You might start by just trying. Just start writing something or anything. It doesn’t have to even be related. Once you get going your thoughts and feelings can come to the surface, and you can go from there.
 
I’d wager most people are completely lost at every age. You’re in good company
 
Girardi, many have been in exactly the place you are, especially at your age. I know that then I found the world very daunting and the types of work available to me unsavoury, and was very hesitant to sink a lot of money into higher education because, even though I had definite intellectual interests, I had no clue if they would prove remunerative. So I became something of a solitary bookworm until I grew enough in self-knowledge to venture forth. I add, though, that I speak not only from personal experience, but from professional experience as a tutor and sometime counselor in a community college with plenty of experience of similar dilemmas in many other young people close to your age.

Indeed, this crisis truly does revolve around self-knowledge, doesn’t it? I can only endorse the suggestions that other posters here have made to maintain a habit of prayer and to keep a journal. Your writing here, though, does lead me to ask a few questions, which you probably shouldn’t answer here, but that you might not want to deal with in prayer and in writing.

First, “something happened,” and you don’t want to talk about it. I’m not asking that you do, but whatever it is, and your reaction to it, casts a shadow over everything else you have written. As you mention it right at the beginning of your post here, it sounds like the effects of this something are at the root of your present inertia and restlessness. Thus, it sounds to me as though you need to address this and work through it. How you do this depends on exactly what this is, but I trust that you will have the prayerful support of whoever reads this.

Next, you talk about differences with your family about your path in life. These happen sometimes, but I think it’s important to ask yourself why you are averse to their suggestions. You may not know what you want to do, but you know what you do not want to do. This is a good start. Consider listing out what you dislike about your family’s suggestions. Get them on paper, and then start considering the opposites of those dislikes. That may move you ahead somewhat to knowing what you want, or at least having an idea rather than a practical plan.

Lastly, though, if you find yourself sapped of motivation and continually listless, please don’t hesitate to talk to a mental health counselor. It could well be that your present funk is part of the effect of the “something” that happened earlier, and some coping strategies in order to move on with your life are in order if you don’t want to keep on staring at that wall throughout your early adulthood.

Be assured of a place in my prayers.
 
What do you like to do? Does anything even closely inspire you? Even if you feel lost, there might be a few hints there. I guess maybe the other way is to pick a year, say 40, and think of where you’d like to be. I know this sounds hard, but it’s pretty clear you don’t know what to shoot at.
 
You pray and all those of us here on this forum to pray you. The answers will come.
 
Wow, so many answers, thank you! I’ve read and thought about every single one.
Beside others it seems like a journal could be a good idea after all
 
I’m 19 as well and despite the vagueness of your post, I might have an answer for you. Tell me? What’s going on? What is troubling you? And very importantly, what are you experiencing/what does it feel like?
 
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@Girardi , you ask what to do when you are completely lost at 19 .

You should realise what a perfect condition you are in for God to get to work on you .

Jesus glories in filling our emptiness . He finds it harder to deal with those who think they have it all .

I’m just getting ready to go to this morning’s Eucharist and I now place you in the hands of our Loving Mother to present you to Jesus in the Eucharist .

In the meantime I suggest you read the words below of Blessed John Henry Newman .
God bless you .

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
Being lost in reverie is hard. Happens to anyone at any age. It sounds like you don’t have an actual desire from God except revelation. May I ask how do you know God does not speak through your parents and their idea on what you should do? Are they asking you to do something immoral?
 
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