I’ve been having a lot of ups and downs regarding my problem of lust. Usually, after I hit a very low point, I tend to hit a very high point. An example in my case, is after not masturbating and feeling spiritual for a days, I go out, fool around, and sleep with a girl. Although we didn’t go all the way, I feel dirty for what I did. I know should have been stronger in my faith and spirituality, but I wasn’t. I acted out of lust and with full knowledge of my sin. Now that my ordeal is over and I am feeling guilty, I am in a high state of spirituality. Unlike the other times though, I want this feeling to last. I want to remain religious and spiritual constantly, without falling too far from grace. I want to be able to hang out with females and not be the sleazy person that I am now. The question is, how do I stay spiritual, especially after I have fallen from grace? What are you experiences and what works best for you?
-Buildingwings
I can identify with your problem, as I’m sure many more can. Of course, my advice is worth exactly what you are paying for it, but perhaps I can share my own experience as a means to help.
The first thing is to recognise the pride involved in even asking the question ‘how do I stay spiritual?’ While the question is not bad in and of itself - how could it be?! - when we examine ourselves honestly, we start to realise that frequently our motivation is to be a good person rather than love of God. When this was explained to me, I came to realise why so many of my efforts were failing: all my actions to ‘be spiritual’ were aimed at myself, not at God, and were therefore the actions *of *man. A priest commented that we should never be surprised at our own sins or dispair of our failings - it is prideful to think that
we can do anything about it.
Likewise, the emotions you speak of, while proper and good and often very helpful, are not in themselves the goal. Seek not to preserve the feeling of spirituality, but only give yourself to God.
Therefore, the solution is to cultivate a stronger relationship with Our Lord. In particular I recommend devotion to His Sacred Heart. You might also develop devotions to Our Lady and St Joseph, if you haven’t already. Above all, pray for an increase in charity. Performing corporal works of mercy where possible will help. All this is to allow the true love of God to grow within you, since charity will overcome a multitude of sins (to paraphrase St Paul).
It won’t come at once. In my experience, an important development was moving away from thinking/praying about my lust. Don’t beat yourself up over it - admit your sin is an offence against God, not a failing against what sort of person you want to be. This is true humility.
Regular visits to confession help, as does prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. Finally, I recommend fasting, since all our appetites are linked, and self-control in one area frequently makes us mroe receptive to receive God’s grace in another.
Hope this helps - God bless.
, it is so easy to find people to hang out with, but harder to make a true friend. It takes work.