What to do when you swear out of anger after you’ve calmed down

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Rosie11

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Today me and my brother who is 2 years younger than me started arguing in my family respect your elders is the motto I tried to walk away but he kept giving smart answers and trying to get the last word in then when I walked back beat him up my dad got between us he kept making faces and angering me even more he wouldn’t let me walk away I got on my knees and swore as god as my witness that I was going to beat the crap out of him when dad was gone but now I’ve calmed down and no longer want to beat him do I still need to beat him In order to be telling the truth? I swore to God that I would and would it mean that I’m lying if I don’t beat him? Also I don’t want him to think he can disrespect me and get away with it
 
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Sibling fights are very common, and it’s a difficult age to contain boiling emotions.

(1) You do NOT beat your brother up.
(2) You forgive him, and drop the anger.
(3) I suggest confessing the threat you made to your brother to a priest.
(4) You should probably apologize to your brother for letting your temper get the best of you. It doesn’t mean he was right, or you were right, or any such thing. Regardless, we shouldn’t speak to our siblings in such a way.
 
Anger can be a tough emotion to control. But with discipline and through God’s grace it is possible to overcome.
 
You’re not your brothers elder.

But best is to calm down and apologize.
 
Apologise to your brother. Beating him up is not respectful and it isn’t your place to try and discipline him. You need to try and convey your anger constructively, and if you can’t, just don’t react to him.

I don’t know if you have scruples, but I think you would be best off taking questions about oaths made in anger to a Priest.
 
But he was making faces behind my dads back and when I pointed it out he acted like he wasn’t doing anything
 
I didn’t beat him he’s so annoying he wouldn’t let me walk away calmly he kept talking back and trying to get in the last word
 
He makes me so angry I could literally feel my legs shaking with the anger
 
19 I didn’t end up hitting my brother but I swore I would I don’t usually swear unless I’m telling the truth which is why I was asking the question like would it be worse if u didn’t hit him and be swearing on lies or hit him I don’t want to hit him now I’ve calmed down
 
Okay, well you could approach him like this. “That was a really bad fight we had, and stuff got said but I’m sorry I swore I’d beat the crap out of you. I shouldn’t have said it.”
And then walk away.
I know what it’s like to have your sibs provoke you, and yes, it’s very rage producing. But rage is also a toxic emotion, and although we do feel angry (and feelings aren’t a sin in and of themselves), we also don’t want to rehearse and feed into our anger.
 
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Rosie11 said:
19 I didn’t end up hitting my brother but I swore I would I don’t usually swear unless I’m telling the truth which is why I was asking the question like would it be worse if u didn’t hit him and be swearing on lies or hit him I don’t want to hit him now I’ve calmed down
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You’re a little old to be getting wrapped up in sibling fights like this, based on who made faces at who. This is like something six year olds do.

I think you need to let this kind of juvenile stuff go and get out on your own.
 
Rosie11 said:
I didn’t beat him he’s so annoying he wouldn’t let me walk away calmly he kept talking back and trying to get in the last word
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He was looking for a reaction. In future, don’t give him one. Just ignore him. It’s so trivial it’s really not worth getting so angry over, and if you know he makes you that angry, work out a way to control it.
 
First, let your brother have the last word. It will help you grow in patience and humility. Just shrug and walk away.

Second, if your brother is making faces behind your dad’s back, or even at you, ignore it.

You will probably see other ways your brother pushes your buttons, ie, tempts you to anger.

It is not your job to raise him, to teach him how to behave, or to discipline him. So leave all that to your parents, including finding out what he is doing wrong --don’t tell your parents what he’s doing unless it has the potential of involving the ER or the police.

I have 4 children and two younger siblings…I know the advice above is hard to follow, but with God’s help, you will be able to.

Also, pray for your brother.
 
A few things I can relate from my own experience.

As a poster said - you aren’t your brother’s elder. You’re also not responsible for teaching him these sorts of lessons. That’s for your parents to do.

Your brother won’t ‘respect’ you if you beat him up. It’ll just drive a further wedge between you and he. It sounds like tempers flared and both of you were acting immature. And it sounds like what you want is revenge more than anything. (You did something I don’t like, so I’m going to hurt you for it)

My younger brother is a disrespectful, selfish jerk. 3 years younger than me. Even as adults, he’s a trial to be around. Sometimes people are like that. We can’t control their behavior. We can only control our responses to it.

And I’m pretty sure God doesn’t want you being consumed with wrath and assaulting your brother. Not to mention potential legal consequences. You’re an adult now. Society expects you to act like it.
 
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Rosie11 said:
19 I didn’t end up hitting my brother but I swore I would I don’t usually swear unless I’m telling the truth which is why I was asking the question like would it be worse if u didn’t hit him and be swearing on lies or hit him I don’t want to hit him now I’ve calmed down
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It would be worse if you hit him.
 
I don’t usually get angry I’m a very calm chilled person I can’t remember the last time I got this angry but he said some very hurtful things to me that really pushed my buttons after the argument I went to my room and cried that’s how hurt I was by what he said I did apologise to him after
 
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