what to do?

[teme]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this item, so if it needs to be moved, by all means do.

DS (almost 10) came into the house last evening looking very distraught. He had gone next door to ask the neighbor to play. When he walked up to their porch, he saw the mother and father fighting (he reported slapping from both parties). So, since he’s never seen that before, he went around to our backyard, picked up the toys, and went over again. The apparent fight was still going on, and he reported a phone being thrown, so DS took our garbage cans to the back, and went for try #3. At this point, all was quiet, and his friend was doing homework, thank God, so DS came home and reported what he saw. He looked very upset, so DW spoke to him while I went to their door. I knocked, and after permission from the mother, the daughter opened the door. Luckily, I had found something that wasn’t ours in the yard the night prior, so I asked if it was theirs - it was not. The mother seemed like she had been crying, but physically seemed fine, and father was not visible.

I trust my son, and believe something had happened (and we’ve heard yelling before). I don’t have any direct evidence or proof of any violence, and don’t want to cause problems if there was nothing - but I’m worried about the couple and their two kids (approx 13 and 8).

What, if anything, should I do? And does anyone have any thoughts on what to tell DS about it - and what, if anything, he should/n’t mention to his friend?

Please pray for the family too!

 

[dulcissima]

Personally, I would call the police every time that there is a noisy fight. In all likelihood, nothing would actually happen when the police show up on the doorstep. It would be good though for there to be some sort of a record of what is going on there, and if nothing else would at least serve to show the parties involved that such behavior is not acceptable and that there are consequences involved for it. The police will talk to the husband and wife individually to find out what is happening. They will also ask about any children present and probably question them. I think having the police show up would at least reinforce for the kids that their parents’ behavior is unacceptable.

 

[catechumen08]

Personally, I think calling the police is a bit premature. This seems to be a domestic dispute that will likely be resolved within the family, without outside interference, since from the looks of it, it’s the first time they have observed this type of behavior - not necessarily the first time it’s happened, though. However, you should report it at once, if there’re signs of physical abuse, which doesn’t seem to be the case here, yet. But yes, I will say a prayer for this family.

 

[dulcissima]

You don’t need proof of anything to call the police. If there is a noisy fight that has been going on for sometime that has you concerned, call the police. It’s that easy. They won’t say who called them, and nothing will happen to anybody if no one is being harmed. The police are just there to find out what is going on and to make sure that things don’t end up getting out of control. You don’t need to investigate and know for sure what is going on before you call. Trust me, this is one of the most common calls for the police to investigate, and it is not a big deal.

I’m giving my advice as someone who was in an abusive marriage. Having the police show up at their doorstep is just the wakeup call that this couple needs.

 

[BlestOne]

I don’t think it is premature to call police when phones are being thrown… someone could get hurt! We have domestic issues next door all the time. They know we will call the police after the son (who is 1 yr older than my son) asked my son if he knew who called the police on his dad. My son very honestly looked the kid in the eye and said…Yeah, I did. They were about 15 and 16 at the time and my ds told the boy we could see him hitting a lady holding a baby and pulling her hair and it scared my little sister. I was so proud of my son that day (I got home just as the kid was asking my son). Now the neighbor comes over and calls the police from my house when things get out of hand.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Cal the cops at every noisy fight or distrubance. It is not premature, esp. if things are flying, including fists. Instruct your son that, the next time he sees something like that, to come home RIGHT AWAY and tell you or Mom.

 

[housewife]

Call the cops whenever this happens. After all, it makes perfect sense that this unacceptable conduct is a big sign of a tragic outcome.

Why wait until then?

 

[LSK]

And you and your husband need to talk to DS together, to let the child know that this is NOT the way married people are meant to act…and emphasize that if Christ is the center of the marriage this kind of fighting will not happen…of course it was upsetting. Poor kid. My prayer are with that family.