What to say to friends?

[carguy]

My friends always seem to be talking about having sex and contraceptives. I don’t know what I should say being that a I am a catholic and plan on waiting to I am married. I don’t want to come off as holier than thou, but would like to help them see what they should be doing.

 

[prstoessel]

The best way to “say” anything is to live as an example to others. I have found it futile to openly engage others about it. If someone asks, then give your answer and reasons. Otherwise, let them learn by your example. From my own experience, it works.

 

[bmullins]

My friends always seem to be talking about having sex and contraceptives. I don’t know what I should say being that a I am a catholic and plan on waiting to I am married. I don’t want to come off as holier than thou, but would like to help them see what they should be doing.

I have found that if you get up and walk away when they start talking about it, they will either get the picture or ask you why you keep walking away. Then inform them that it bothers you and you would just prefer not to hear it. If they know you are Catholic and don’t want to hear it, then by setting an example and showing them how serious you are about not hearing it will reaffirm that. “Preach at all times the gospel, when necessary use words.” Any friend that is worth their salt will try to adjust their behavior once they realize you are truly offended. (If you sit there though and listen and roll your eyes, it gives the impression it bothers you only a little and that you are ok with it.)

 

[DJK100]

I think you can always say thay you believe what they are doing is a mistake and leave it at that. They know where you stand and if they want more of your opinion they will ask for it. If not then you don’t need to bring it up again. You don’t come off has holier than thou, or preachy, you come off as a concerned friend. Also, by leaving it be after you said your piece shows that you are nonjudgemental and have restraint but at the same time are willing to discuss the issue with them if they so choose.

I have found that this kind of restraint actually draws people into discussion rather than away from it.

 

[surritter]

You can say something that doesn’t sound terribly religious, such as “aren’t you guys worried about all the diseases and other issues that come with sex before marriage?”

Of course, if they are immature they will start howling at my choice of words (i.e., after “other issues”) so you can word it however you wish.

 

[Jeffgo]

This is a tough one…it seems really out of place for people to be talking about stuff like that out loud, regardless of how they feel about it. It’s also tough because they’re engaging in some rather self-destructive behavior, and I imagine that, as a friend, it’s probably tough to hear them talk about it.

By the way, if they’re using hormonal contraception (ie: the pill, the patch, depo-provera, etc.), I would suggest letting them know that those methods can cause the death of a newly-fertilized egg, aka a very early abortion (they usually just prevent conception, but they can occasionally prevent a newly-conceived embryo from implanting on the uterus, causing it to die.). Even if they won’t listen, they have a right to know, and you will have spoken for the unborn

Either way, make it clear to them that you don’t want to hear them talking about this kind of stuff when you’re around. If they keep it up, I’d say stay away from them–it isn’t spiritually healthy to sit around and listen to this kind of stuff, and as the previous poster said, a true friend wouldn’t just sit there and mouth off stuff that they knew a friend wasn’t comfortable with. Bad company corrupts good character.

 

[Jeffgo]

Also, I remember talking to a pro-life speaker a while back about speaking to people who use contraception (in this case, hormonal contraception, like the pill). He said that a good angle to take is to appeal to their own sense of self-concern, and explain to them why it’s bad for them. In the case of hormonal contraception, it’s bad for a woman’s body to be on large doses of hormones for years on end. And, having promiscuous sex is just a dangerous lifestyle in and of itself. People generally tend to want to take good care of themselves, so maybe approach it from that angle.

 

[carguy]

Well also while I have always been believer and raised catholic. I have not always followed to the letter out of lack of knowledge of the full teaching of the church. So I fear that I might come off as hypocrite, but I have always felt the sex was to be saved till one is married.