What to say to suicidal friends?

[Max]

It seems like many of the teenage girls I know and am friends with are so vulnerable to depression that they cut their arms and entertain thoughts of suicide. There are a variety of reasons why they’d do this…the reasons ranged from divorce, pressure put on one by a guy who lusted after her plus family problems, and even a broken heart after a girl realized she was only used and not really loved.

They come to me with these problems for some reason, and sometimes I just don’t quite know what to say. They talk about ending it all, and I try to get them to think about the effects of their suicide, such as how devasted the ones who knew and loved them would feel. What else could I say to them?

I have some friends who just shake their heads and say “Dude…just forget about them. I say that anyone who’s dumb enough to want to commit suicide in the first place should! What you should do when you’re talking to these losers is to make them feel stupid about wanting to commit suicide. That’s the best way.” Any tips for handling those kinds of situations?

 

[chimakuni]

Max - first off - you must be one good listener for your friends to come and talk to you about thoughts of suicide.

Keep talking with your friends - encourage them to see the beauty in life. Invite them to Mass … keep them engaged in life.

IF any of your friends talk about HOW they are going to commit suicide, do whatever it takes to get them help. Call their parents - bring their thoughts and feelings out into the open.

I know that one of the ways of dealing with life is to end life in this culture of death that we live in, but LIFE is a BEAUTIFUL gift from God. I think we as a society have forgotten that somewhere along the line.

I shall be praying for you - your words of wisdom and compassion for your friends. Keep on being a good friend, Max. God Bless you

 

[Max]

Max - first off - you must be one good listener for your friends to come and talk to you about thoughts of suicide.

So I’ve been told…although I don’t really get what I’m doing differently than anyone else when I have a conversation with them.

IF any of your friends talk about HOW they are going to commit suicide, do whatever it takes to get them help. Call their parents -bring their thoughts and feelings out into the open.

Well, luckily most of them weren’t very specific about it…although I was so very disturbed when one friend of mine (who also happens to be the girl I really like and care about most) sent an e-mail of a scanned picture she drew. It was scribbled in pen-picture of a knife, and scribbled letters saying “A DAGGER TO END IT ALL”…I didn’t know quite what to think, and asked her to explain it. She insisted that it didn’t mean suicide-just that she took out her emotions on a picture rather than on herself. But, later on I did learn that she was more suicidal than I thought when another friend of hers told on her and she was taken to a shrink immediately.

It can be pretty scary, seeing friends go through that. I just pray that the Lord gives me the right words to say, and to get me to contact a parent when things get worse. Does anyone else have any other suggestions? They would be appreciated, and I would like to know what anyone else thinks about this.

 

[hawkeye]

Max:

It seems like many of the teenage girls I know and am friends with are so vulnerable to depression that they cut their arms and entertain thoughts of suicide. There are a variety of reasons why they’d do this…the reasons ranged from divorce, pressure put on one by a guy who lusted after her plus family problems, and even a broken heart after a girl realized she was only used and not really loved.

They come to me with these problems for some reason, and sometimes I just don’t quite know what to say. They talk about ending it all, and I try to get them to think about the effects of their suicide, such as how devasted the ones who knew and loved them would feel. What else could I say to them?

I have some friends who just shake their heads and say “Dude…just forget about them. I say that anyone who’s dumb enough to want to commit suicide in the first place should! What you should do when you’re talking to these losers is to make them feel stupid about wanting to commit suicide. That’s the best way.” Any tips for handling those kinds of situations?

Max, be gentle with them, I heard through certain revelations that souls that take their own lives still feel great remorse for having done so.
And also the pain is still the same on the other side,have you heard of Saint Anthonys Brief ? well maybe you should obtain one for your friend-s and have it blessed, I’m serious, and keep it about themselves.
If your truly concerned get back to me.

 

[Carolyn]

I was one of those girls…

When you are a teenage girl the world is a very small place. Time moves very slowly.

When people feel like this it might be because they don’t see the difference they can make in the world, or in others lives. It seems that teenage girls are caught in a world where all they want is too be accepted, but not much is expected.

Luckily I had friends like you who cared and helped me realize that I was important to them, that I made a differnece in their lives.

I know this isn’t much of a response, but God Bless You for being there for them. Life changed for me when I began to realize that life has so much to offer and that we are here because that is what God wishes for us, He delights in us and loves us.

You can’t change people who don’t want to change, but you can let them know that you are there for them. Your friendship is precious. I will pray for you and for them.

 

[iguana27]

I think it important to remind them that God has a plan for their life. He wants to see them eventually, but not yet. They may not act like they appreciate it, but they do need to know that God loves them.

Also pray!

And tell their parents. Your suicidal friends need help. If you can’t tell their parents due to issues in the home, tell a teacher or clergy. They are required by law to help.

 

[Flounder]

Remember how one had a friend tell on her and she was taken to a doctor immediately? That should have been you Max.

Tell their parents, school counselors, etc. and get them some help if you think they might be serious at all.

 

[Max]

Remember how one had a friend tell on her and she was taken to a doctor immediately? That should have been you Max.

Tell their parents, school counselors, etc. and get them some help if you think they might be serious at all.

I know, I know…that is one of my biggest regrets about the whole thing, that I didn’t go out of the way for my friend, the one who I claim to care about tremendously, to get her to professional help.

I guess at that time I figured that would make things worse, because some of the people I knew who recieved professional help seemed ticked off about it. I also didn’t quite understand how serious it really was, and that I was in way over my head trying to handle it myself. But really, it turned out to be very effective on her, and I believe she’s doing very well right now. But, then again, I haven’t talked to her much since her parents found out about it because they pretty much cut off her communication online severely. From what I hear from her friends though, she’s doing better.

Also, thanks for the comments and suggestions! More are welcome too, of course.