What to say?

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Jenlyn

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What do you say when you find out someone you know is terminally ill? Does saying “I’ll pray for you” enough? When you know that there’s nothing you can really say or do to take the pain away?

I am a big person on prayer but you know…
sometimes it doesn't feel like enough.
 
I am of the age where it won’t be too long before I’ll be telling people that I have only so many months or years to live.

Here’s what I want people to say to me:

“Ooh, I am soooo jealous. Here’s a list of things I want you to pray for when you get there.”

DaveBj
 
Both of you are heart warming.

The truth is Jenlyn, prayer is enough. It’s not only enough, it’s exactly what God wants us to do. We are called to pray to God, not by force, but in exercising our free will. This makes worship of God so important on earth and in heaven. What we ask for then, in our prayers, carries much weight.
Again, (amen,) I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.
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For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."
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That’s huge! It speaks to the power of prayer. Doesn’t Christ tell us to ask and we shall receive? Haven’t countless Saints been prayed for and intercessed through the mercy of God because of His Will in our petitions?

There should be nothing that means more from one Christian to another than to say “I’ll pray for you.” To offer up one’s pleads to the Mighty, Immortal, Eternal Father is beyond our comprehension in scope and power, that’s why we often misunderstand it. That’s why sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.

It is enough.

I will pray for you both.
 
Hello, Jen,

It’s been awhile since we’ve touched each others’ paths here. I hope you are well, and that you are not speaking about a dear loved one - so very painful, huh?

Through God’s gracious mercy and compassion, He has honored prayers in the past that I have offered for physical healings. Like you, though, I was afraid to approach a terminal person and suggest we pray for healing, just in case it was not answered. I believed I would offer false hope to them and add great disappointment and loss of faith to an already burdened heart.

However, God is so much more loving than our poor imaginings. He has always provided interior comfort and spiritual blessings to the person, even though the prayer for physical healing was not answered. We just need to trust Him, and fear not to approach anyone, and humbly ask them if they would appreciate our sincere prayers for them. I think the Holy Spirit will guide us as we remain sensitive to His love and inspirations for each situation.

🙂 Carole
 
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St.Curious:
There should be nothing that means more from one Christian to another than to say “I’ll pray for you.” To offer up one’s pleads to the Mighty, Immortal, Eternal Father is beyond our comprehension in scope and power, that’s why we often misunderstand it. That’s why sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.
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It’s not that I don’t think my prayers are not heard. They are. Over the past year they have changed from “heal them” to “heal them if it is your will”. I understand that God answers every prayer, though we may not understand it or like it. So I also pray to understand his will.

In this world where we are called to love our neighboors and as St Teresa’s (it could Theresa) prayer says “Christ has no body now but yours, No hands, no feet on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world. Christ has no body now on earth but yours.”

So I feel like I should be able to do something to make a difference but then the statements in thread show that maybe we are just to be there for the experience. That is God’s answer for us. We can’t die for the person. We can only be there and that is God’s will.

Thank you.
 
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Jenlyn:
What do you say when you find out someone you know is terminally ill? Does saying “I’ll pray for you” enough? When you know that there’s nothing you can really say or do to take the pain away?

I am a big person on prayer but you know…

sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.
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You’re right-- it doesn’t feel like enough. Prayer is the first thing we should do for anyone who is facing death (or any other hard situation, for that matter), but we cannot forget that there are temporal things that the person needs as well. After offering your prayers, you can ask the person, “What can I do for you? How can I be here for you now?” Make the offer; let it be known that you are there as a friend to do what you can to ease his suffering. Sometimes, just sticking around and being a friend is all you can do, and it means a lot to the person who is ill. Especially since so many people don’t want to face a loved one’s imminent death, and so they distance themselves when the person needs them the most.
 
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Joysong:
Hello, Jen,

It’s been awhile since we’ve touched each others’ paths here. I hope you are well, and that you are not speaking about a dear loved one - so very painful, huh?
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Yes, it is good to connect again. 🙂

It is not a dear loved one but a friend of the family. She has stage 4 cancer of the colon which moved to the liver. She only found out a month ago.

I have been praying for God to comfort her and now she’s on that marijana drug. She’s feeling real good now. :o

Peace,
Jen
 
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Jenlyn:
What do you say when you find out someone you know is terminally ill? Does saying “I’ll pray for you” enough? When you know that there’s nothing you can really say or do to take the pain away?

I am a big person on prayer but you know…
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                                  sometimes it doesn't feel like enough.
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Jen, lots of really good advice has already been given. As one fighting a serious illness, knowing that I am united in prayer with others is a tremendous help. Even if someone may be too shy or feel too selfish to ask for your prayers, it really helps bring a lot of peace knowing that you’re not alone but connected to others in the Body of Christ through the journey. And, depending on whether you have access to who your praying for, a kind touch and a warm hug, or just holding hands helps a lot. I think its the loneliness that one battles in suffering that is one of the hardest things…and being Jesus to that person can be a wonderful gift.
God Bless you!
 
Hi Jen –

I’ve found in my own experience with friends that each one reacts differently and it depends on where they are in processing their mortality and contemplating everlasting life.

Sometimes they want to talk about death, how their family will cope, what arrangements need to take place, etc.

Sometimes they want to just have a normal conversation without any hint of impending death. They might want to do something “normal” like go out to eat or go to a movie if they are able to get out; or watch a movie at home or play cards if they can’t go out.

Let them lead the way.
 
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