What to so when one has completely given oneself over to evil

[Irish_Becca]

I have posted on the forum for prayers and advice about my failed marriage and you have never let me down. I am concerned that there is something worse going on here, something perhaps demonic. Without going into a lot detail, my husband was sexually abused by his stepfather for the majority of the childhood/sexual development. The aftermath of this has included alcoholism, porn and sex addiction, and gender identity confusion. I spoke to someone yesterday who knows him on a daily basis (he lives in a different state now), and things have gotten much, much worse. He is taking the gender identity thing public, walking around in drag in public places like the mall and restaurants. He just got out of the hospital, where he was diagnosed with narcissistic and borderline personality disorders.

He is completely lost. I talked to him yesterday, and he sounded terrible - he is not the same person he was even a year ago, let alone a few years ago when he was (outwardly, at least) keeping it together. I am telling you this with all seriousness - I think something has gotten hold of him. His family says that when they were growing up, they witnessed strange things like shadows moving around, voices coming from the closet, and the mom and daughter even claim to have seen this thing at one point. I am hesitant to even type these things out. I’m afraid.

Talking to my husband last night, I kept trying to convince him to go to a priest. He said he already had when he was at the mental hospital. I asked him to go again - he said no. Then after a while, I asked him if he felt that something evil had gotten hold of him, and he said no. I asked him - do you feel that there is something evil inside of you that doesn’t belong there? He got very upset and said he had to go, and hung up.

My husband has completely surrendered to these disordered urges, given himself over wholly to evil. I am afraid for my children. I am terrified that something is going to try to take them over, too. Seriously, with these concerns - what should I do??

Thank you for reading. Thank you again for the time you have taken to help me during this situation.

 

[bpbasilphx]

I think the actions of your former husband stem from his childhood abuse and his narcissistic and borderline personality disorders, not because he has “given himself over to evil.”

And probably the reason he’s rejected any suggestion of “talking to a priest” (what could that accomplish, btw?) and hung up on you is because you ARE his ex-wife, and he doesn’t want you to interfere with him.

Also, transvestism, transsexualism, transgenderism, and homosexuality are NOT the same things, though the differences are too subtle for many people to grasp.

All you can do is pray for his healing.

 

[Stefanya]

Dear Irish Becca,

There IS something far worse going on here. It’s the same monster that took my child from me. The monsters name is PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. (a normal reaction to an abnormal situation): Otherwise known as FEAR.

Your husbands behavior is Irrational, Illogical, Unreasonable. The 3 ingredients required for Obsessive thought disorders and ( Addictions ). All obsessive disorders are Irrational. All obsessions are the brains solution (medication) for Anxiety. The trauma you described your husband experiencing in childhood was never INTEGRATED, It followed him through out life like a trauma shadow getting heavier and heavier. This monster finally caught up with him and overpowered him. It’s devouring him. To regain his health, he’s going to have to STOP running, face and fight that which he’s spent his life avoiding. His childhood trauma/acute stress. He needs to purge the emotional charge (the trauma burden).

This evil WILL infect your children if they experience his pain, your pain, your fear and the dysfunction going on in your family. They will be traumatized vicariously. They will bear the family’s emotional scars. The key to their health is through gaining knowledge and INTEGRATING their emotional pain. They’ve lost the father they love and that’s traumatic enough. Your family unit has been shaken. Worse: They’ve lost their father to an obsessive thought disorder. They lost him in a shameful way.
They’ll be suffering low self worth and perhaps losing their sense of “Self” altogether.
Your husband is not the only one who’s ill. Your entire family is ill. I can read it in your letter. You are distressed, confused and fearful. Your lives are chaotic and everyone is bearing their own pain in silence and feeling helpless and hopeless.

Tell your husband that he’s not crazy, he’s not transgendered, only crazed and searching for answers and solutions to the extreeme level of distress he’s feeling. PTSD is an emotional, medical and spiritual disease. Keep in mind that an Obsessive thought is a drug. Narcissism is a drug. Desperate people cling to their obsessions like drowning men cling to a sinking log in a fast moving river. It’s not likely he’ll want to let go of his obsessive thoughts for fear of drowning. The mind conspires to protect the individual with DENIAL. DO NOT MEDICATE THIS MAN WITH PRESCRIPTION DRUGS unless you want a prescription for disaster. With drugging, he will never face that which he’s been trying to avoid all his life. He may well end up ending his life or really spinning out of control.
Tell him you finally know what is wrong with him. It has nothing to do with evil, though it creates evil. Get the best help for him with those who are familiar with the treatment of PTSD. Stay away from well meaning physicians who have been taught to believe that a pill will solve everything. When I was raising my child back in the late 70’s, PTSD was unheard of. The best news I can give you is: today you at least have a fighting chance.
Pray to God for Strength: that your husband can overcome his denial and seek the help he so desperately needs.

From one mother in pain to another. HUG. I wish you the strength you need to be the best mother you can be.
Stefanya.

 

[Bluegoat]

I guess people can be possessed by demons. And perhaps they might find people such as your husband particularly vulnerable, though I would think it would be more satisfying to attack someone more with it.

However, your husbands behavior sounds like it could be totally explained by his upbringing and emotional/mental problems. I think he might be better served by a psychiatrist than a priest, though from what I understand BPD is almost impossible to treat.

I am not sure how much you should trust the observations of his immediate family.

I also don’t know if suggesting to him he might be possessed is a great idea. It could set up a whole new role for him to take on.

But even if he were possessed, I don’t think you need to worry about demons attacking your kids.

 

[Irish_Becca]

Thank you for your replies.

You guys are right. Sometimes, I get carried away with my ideas. I still feel so bad for him and I am actually seeing a Christian counselor about my guilt issues.

Bpbasilphx, it just kind of hit me over the head when you said I’m his ex-wife and he doesn’t want me to interfere with him. Technically, we are still married, but you are right - I am sure he does not want me to interfere with his new life. I will be happy when it’s all done and over with.

Anyhow, forgive me for getting all worked up. It’s nice to talk to sensible people - I need that sometimes.

 

[Matrix_Refugee]

It doesn’t sound like he has given himself over to evil, but I do think his childhood traumas have caused him to act out on them in very strange ways. If I were in your place, I would pray for him to find a good Catholic psychologist to work with him.

 

[Stefanya]

He didn’t get angry at you because you’re his ex wife and because it’s not your business. He got angry at you because you don’t understand him because not even he understands what is going on with him. He’s holding on to his obsessive notionss like a man to a sinking log and trying to make sense of what is going on. So far transsexualism is the only explanation his brain can muster and he’s going with it. It’s an obsessive notion derived by the power of suggestion. I call it THE BIG AHA. A point of realization that seems to make sense of what’s really going on. A big light bulb went on in his head. Unfortunately, this big awakening flash never has anything to do with reality.

Pursuing transvestism, transsexualism, transgenderism, and homosexuality is no different than latching onto some celebrity victim and stalking them believing that they are in a relationship…it’s nuts and completely out of character. The real and only problem is the trauma that’s been silently stalking this man through life. Unfortunately, a well meaning psychiatrist will only pump this man full of medication and probably ruin the rest of his life. That’s what they are trained to do. Your husband needs to see a specialist in Trauma Resolution. I don’t know what part of the world you live but there have been break through’s in the field of PTSD. Contact your local armed forces and ask to speak to the specialists working with soldiers suffering trauma. Request a referral to a specialist who works with civilians in this area. Your husband doesn’t trust you. He became impatient. He has a real fear based emotional problem and you were trying to resolve it with religion suggesting that he might be possessed of evil.
Phone him up and apologize, tell him that you now understand what the problem is, (He’s having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation) After you’ve done your homework in learning all you can about trauma, you might be better equipped to help him.
The bad news is: don’t expect your husband to embrace this solution. He’s using this mindset as an answer to the distress he’s feeling. It’s becoming a drug and as all drugs go…he’s unlikely to drop it. Why would he? Why would any alcoholic or drug addict drop their habit. He’s thrashing in the water, clinging to his solution for the distress he’s in, like a drowning man to a sinking log. He will be afraid to let it go.