What to watch out for in a parish?

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AlwaysAsking

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Hi,

I am considering conversion to catholicism and definitely want to avoid cafeteria catholicism (if you think that’s bad, try cafeteria protestantism for awhile!!).

Anyway, the one phone conversation I had with an RCIA-type guy, he told me just to be happy to be a protestant.

So I would appreciate some advice, while I am dragging my lapsed-catholic dh and two kids to mass, what kinds of red flags to look out for before jumping into a parish. What kinds of things are good signs? How can I find a good parish?

THANK YOU SO MUCH!
 
AlwaysAsking said:
Hi,

I am considering conversion to catholicism and definitely want to avoid cafeteria catholicism (if you think that’s bad, try cafeteria protestantism for awhile!!).

Anyway, the one phone conversation I had with an RCIA-type guy, he told me just to be happy to be a protestant.

So I would appreciate some advice, while I am dragging my lapsed-catholic dh and two kids to mass, what kinds of red flags to look out for before jumping into a parish. What kinds of things are good signs? How can I find a good parish?

THANK YOU SO MUCH!
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Good for you! Well you’ve just identified on red flag. Any self-respecting, informed Catholic RCIA director should never say something like this. If this is how he introduces himself to a person the is considering joining the Catholic Church, I hate to think what he teaches.

I would begin by talking with the RCIA director of the parish. Ask the director how the conversion process works and how the parish is viewed in the larger Catholic community…liberal, orthodox or somewhere in between. If you have Catholic friends ask them for a recommendation. If these options don’t work for you let me know and I’ll give you the name of a few priests that could give you a good steer.

I will describe myself as a orthodox, practicing, faithful Catholic.

God Bless,

Iowa Mike
 
Some of the outward signs of a good parish:

The Mass and Confession times are posted somewhere that is easy to find. (If it says, “confessions by appointment only” move on.)

There is a crucifix in the sanctuary that is large enough to be recognizable from the back of the room.

There is a lit red lamp in the sanctuary, next to the tabernacle, hopefully, close to the altar. (Bonus points if it’s actually a candle in a red glass, and not an electric light.)

There are votive candles, and a recognizable statue or image of Mary, in (at least) one prominent corner. (Bonus points if there are prayer benches in the Mary corner.)

You can easily find the poor box, and the schedule of ministries to the poor.

The Youth bulletin board seems up-to-date, with a variety of upcoming young people’s activities being announced.

The Church is unlocked even if there is nothing specific scheduled, and you can see at least one or two people praying in the Church - people feel welcome to come and pray there.

The parking lot seems busy, even if it’s not full - people seem to be coming and going.
 
I would also add that it is major bonus points if they have Adoration and group Rosary - many parishes do not have this any longer.

Steve
 
Sometimes you can only tell by observing and experiencing it yourself. If you are fortunate enough to have several churches in your area, visit all of them. Also, go at different times. My parish definatley has a different feel from the 4PM Saturday Mass (older crowd) to the 8:30AM Sunday Mass with a seperate childrens Liturgy.

Also, for guidence on comminto the Church, check out the Comming Home Network.
It has resources for converts and those comming back into the Church.

God Bless
 
jmcrae said:
You can easily find the poor box, and the schedule of ministries to the poor.
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But if you don’t find the ‘poor box’, look around. My parish has an entire social services ministry with separate offices & staff opened every day.
jmcrae said:
The Church is unlocked even if there is nothing specific scheduled, and you can see at least one or two people praying in the Church - people feel welcome to come and pray there.
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Sadly, times have changed, I can’t think of one Church that has unlocked doors. But many have unlocked chapels for perpetual Eucharistic adoration. And some of these may have cipher locks they may use at night.

Great list. I may add the number of different ministries a parish has. Good indication of the involvement of the members.
 
Light_Seeker said:
Sadly, times have changed, I can’t think of one Church that has unlocked doors. But many have unlocked chapels for perpetual Eucharistic adoration. And some of these may have cipher locks they may use at night.
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Yep, I have to agree with this. Our parish sits at an intersection on a main road with a lot of traffic, both foot and auto. A couple of decades ago the church was vandalized and now the church is locked when not in use. Same goes for the school and other parish buildings. The archdiocese has had several church break-ins recently, and usually the tabernacle is stolen and the Holy Eucharist is desecrated in these attacks. Why make it easy for the criminals to destroy our sanctuary?

Otherwise, I’m happy to see that my parish lines up nicely with jmcrae’s excellent list. We’ve got a very blessed parish. 🙂
 
I always tell people to start with online. See if you can find online bulletins. If it advertizes Perpetual Adoration, or Pro-Life events, that’s usually a good sign. Notices about Rosary Groups, Knights of Columbus, or notices about public Novenas is a good sign too. Also, on a personal note look for things that would interest you, your husband, and children; ways for you to be active in the parish eventually.

Then attend a Mass. Generally, the earlier the Mass, the more traditional. If it has a Mass labeled “Traditional Latin Mass” or “Mass in the Extraordinary Form” or “Tridentine Rite” that all refers to the Mass that was said in Latin before the 60’s, if that’s what you’re looking for (they’re beautiful Masses).

Then get in touch with the RCIA director. Generally that means calling a Parish Hall, but if you don’t get a call back from a priest, keep trying - they’re very busy and sometimes forget. Usually notices are in the bulletin as well as to when classes are.

God Bless!
 
I would dare to suggest that your parish should be the one you live in, ie. the closest Catholic Church to where you live. Maybe be open to the possibility that God’s calling you there; it may be a parish in crisis that would benefit by what newblood will bring to it. That’s what I did when started the conversion process. I thought, “Here is my home, this is my parish, and there’s my church.” It picked me.

But, otherwise, I’d say look for one that has a Latin Mass. Also, go try them out. Listen to the sermons of various parishes and maybe the answer will present itself. You might “click” with one.

I also like places where people smile.
 
Oh, I forgot to add, RCIA is often something which must be endured. My attitude: grin and bear it. There are worse things, for sure.

Now, with RCIA it is clear that you get out of it what you put into it and that is true everywhere. Put your head down and head into that wind if that’s what it is in your case and get through it. The reward is communion with the Lord on the other side, which is a priceless reward for so paltry a task.

By the way get started in there now if they’ll still take you in RCIA. They won’t, if you came now to my church - it’s too close to Easter and they have closed enrollment for the season. They’d tell you go away and come back next August (happened to me last year).
 
Hello all,

These are all helpful suggestions. My husband was curious about some of the things mentioned, so we had fun looking for the enigmatic red lamp this Sunday. Now he wants to know what it’s for, too!

We have been going to the local parish, so we were pleased to see many of the things mentioned in your posts. Best of all, the church is going to be doing some kind of faith formation survey in the coming months to see-- I think-- whether the church staff is teaching people WHY they believe what they believe. That put a big smile on my face. Most lapsed catholics I know never really got the basic information, just the rituals. I’m VERY interested to see what comes of this process!

Thanks again and don’t hesitate to add more to the list of things to look for.
 
mystagogia said:
By the way get started in there now if they’ll still take you in RCIA. They won’t, if you came now to my church - it’s too close to Easter and they have closed enrollment for the season. They’d tell you go away and come back next August (happened to me last year).
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This happens if they don’t have a separate, year-round stream for Inquirers. Hopefully, within the next several years, every parish in the world will have a Period of Inquiry that people can join at any time of the year. 🙂
 
AlwaysAsking said:
My husband was curious about some of the things mentioned, so we had fun looking for the enigmatic red lamp this Sunday. Now he wants to know what it’s for, too!
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The candle, which should be suspended near the tabernacle, or very near it, signifies that the Lord is within the tabernacle, when it is lit.

If the tabernacle is located to the side of the crucifix and alter, as in my parish, you’ll notice people genuflecting to the tabernacle before Mass, not to the crucifix. Well, they should be, some are not aware unfortunately.

I wasn’t aware the red candle could be replaced with an electric light.
 
AlwaysAsking,
I need to add, as you are a Protestant considering Catholicism, that the tabernacle light is not just another strange Catholic thing. The lamp & genuflecting can be traced back to the Old Testament. And the New Testament often describes our Lord as the Light of the World, or Light of lights, etc. Hence my forum name, light seeker 😃
 
jmcrae said:
I have seen it done - I don’t like the practice, myself, but I am told that there are practical reasons why it might be done.
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Hmmm…did a quick google, it appears a Bishop may approve this for ‘practical reasons’.

Which I would imagine are fire insurance concerns. 😛
 
yeah, fire in a church can’t be a good thing…Imagine the insurance bill that would rack up.
 
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