What was your first step when you pursued adoption?

[Princess_Abby]

I have been researching this past week and the adoption process seems a little overwhelming. Though we are not ready to begin yet, we want to be ready to fully embrace the process when all of our “ducks are in a row,” so to speak.

This is what we feel we want: a domestic adoption of an infant directly placed with us after birth. We do not care about race. We feel it would be easier to adopt a caucasian infant, but the idea of waiting up to five years makes both of us very unhappy. We are SOMEWHAT okay with the idea of a “semi-open” adoption, though we prefer a closed adoption–only in the sense that we don’t care to meet the birthmom nor form a relationship with her. If we met with her once or twice, that would be fine, but we do not want an extended relationship beyond that whatsoever. (We are just concerned about the birthmom being overly involved in our parenting, as time goes on, and even possibly creating some anxiety for the child–and us.)

How should we proceed when we are ready? Do we first obtain an attorney? Do we then visit agencies? Do we “advertise” for a birthmom? Do we pay an agency to “advertise” for us?

We just don’t even know where to begin. Any concrete steps would be really helpful from those of you who have weathered the journey!

Also…if you can reccommend any reputable sites based on your own experience, that would be great. (I am never sure exactly how trustworthy some of the stuff is that I read.)

 

[Giannawannabe]

Abby,

Getting a homestudy is the first step. Once that is in place, you can adopt a baby. I’ve had friends that were contacted by birthparents almost immediately once they began putting their profile out there. If you don’t have a homestudy done, it might delay placement of a baby in your home. I’m not sure how things are done in your state. In ours, a homestudy is done by a social worker from a licensed adoption agency. You can hire an attorney to help locate birthparents, but a homestudy must be done by an agency. During the homestudy process, you can indicate what type of relationship that you want to have with birthparents. This will be put in your profile and birthparents will know up front what you and your dh want as far as having a “semi-open” adoption.

Call a few reputable agencies and find out how they want you to go about scheduling a homestudy and what paperwork is needed to begin. Make sure you have all documents like birth certificates, marriage license, etc. handy.

GOOD LUCK!!! PM me if you have any other questions. You know I’m willing to help as much as I can.

 

[kristacecilia]

Abby,

Contact your local Catholic Charities once you are ready. If they are like what my mom works with in VA, they do infant adoption from crisis pregnancies. They will help you do everything you need to do.

Even if they don’t handle adoptions, but do deal with crisis pregnancy, they should be able to point you in the right direction.

 

[alaskaaggies]

I am piggy-backing a question on to this thread, I hope you all don’t mind… What exactly is involved in a homestudy and how long does one take? Do they vary from state to state? We’re a military family and just moved to OH, but will only be here one year. The most we will be in one place is 3yrs, so I’m wondering if we will need to get another homestudy done if we have to move while we are in the waiting process.

 

[Viki59]

A homestudy is a report on you as a family and individually. For ours, we each had to write an autobiography and go through several interviews. The social worker came to our home several times for it. Then they look at the physical conditions of your home, safety issues, etc, and your finances, relatives,(are they supportive, etc), ideas of childraising, discipline,etc.
I’m not sure, but I think you would have to update a homestudy each time you moved to another state.

 

[Princess_Abby]

Thanks for the information, ladies.

Thanks for the offer to PM, Gianna! I am sure I will be innundating you with questions once the process really begins for us

Thanks, Krista and Vicki! I am really eager to talk to Catholic Charities once we know where we will be living on a permanent basis.

 

[didymus]

Princess_Abby:

I have been researching this past week and the adoption process seems a little overwhelming. Though we are not ready to begin yet, we want to be ready to fully embrace the process when all of our “ducks are in a row,” so to speak.

This is what we feel we want: a domestic adoption of an infant directly placed with us after birth. We do not care about race. We feel it would be easier to adopt a caucasian infant, but the idea of waiting up to five years makes both of us very unhappy. We are SOMEWHAT okay with the idea of a “semi-open” adoption, though we prefer a closed adoption–only in the sense that we don’t care to meet the birthmom nor form a relationship with her. If we met with her once or twice, that would be fine, but we do not want an extended relationship beyond that whatsoever. (We are just concerned about the birthmom being overly involved in our parenting, as time goes on, and even possibly creating some anxiety for the child–and us.)

I’m not a lawyer but the way things are going, I don’t know if you can really count on a “closed” adoption staying closed anymore.
My wife an I adopted her grandson, so it was naturally an “open” adoption. We still had to go through the home study, psychological assessments, &c., &c., even though we’d hadcustody of him since he was a few months old.

How should we proceed when we are ready? Do we first obtain an attorney? Do we then visit agencies? Do we “advertise” for a birthmom? Do we pay an agency to “advertise” for us?

We just don’t even know where to begin. Any concrete steps would be really helpful from those of you who have weathered the journey!

I’d say absolutely get a lawyer first and s/he can tell you how to begin.

God bless,
Didymus