What would happen to my mom if I became a nun?

[TiggerS]

We are called to “Honor your father and your mother” and this will mean different things to different people. It depends on the person involved and the parent involved and also on the relationship between them. The Catholic Catechism speaks of duties of children towards parents here: scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a4.htm#2223 (Scroll down to “The duties of children”.)

Note: 2231 Some forgo marriage in order to care for their parents or brothers and sisters, to give themselves more completely to a profession, or to serve other honorable ends. They can contribute greatly to the good of the human family.

If a person is more drawn to caring for an elderly parent than to religious life, then they have the spiritual freedom to make that choice for themselves. If a person feels drawn towards caring for an elderly parent, plus some sort of attraction to religious life, then they need to pray about that vocation to which God may be calling them and also, wisdom and prudence would ask, seek spiritual direction and sound advice. This will be a journey of discerning God’s Will for their life and as that journey unfolds anything could happen including an increasing desire for religious life. Alternatively, a decreasing interest. The Lord and His Grace will provide and it would be wise and prudent again to have sound spiritual advice as changes occur during the discernment journey.

 

[DevotedChild]

It seems to me that in the above instance, you are more drawn to religious life and for the love of God than remaining with your mother. For some they may be more drawn to remaining with a parent and for the love of God than to religious life and decide to stay with the parent. A person can receive the Graces for holiness as a parent-carer as much as in religious life. In both instances (leaving a parent for religious life or remaining with the parent) it is God who provides the stronger attraction and the Graces to persevere in whatever is chosen. It is one thing to choose religious life for the love of God and another thing to persevere until final vows. As it is one thing to decide to stay with a parent and another to remain the carer for as long as needed. “All is Grace” (St. Therese of Lisieux).

St. Teresa of Avila , as an example, really felt the leaving of her family very deeply, but she was very much drawn to religious life in spite of this. Her stronger attraction was to religious life.

You are quite correct to my mind. If one has an attraction to sacrificing all things even their personal happiness, then that is their attraction - although it would be doubtful I think that the person would persevere in an unhappy state. I tend to think that if they do indeed persevere, then they have found personal happiness rather than the unhappiness anticipated.
Human beings are naturally driven to seek happiness.

TS

Yeah, i agree. you make sound bad, which i don’t hold against you, and I think people keep misunderstanding my message. What I have been trying to say is that no matter where we are in life there will be times in our lives that God will ask sacrifices of us. I, myself, am trying to follow God’s Will because I know that He wants happiness for me and will place me where i will find happiness and that seems to be the religious life from the attraction that I have for it. Her case is different from mine. If God wants her to be in the religious life, then good for her, that doesn’t mean that it is now. There are things that must be settled first before anyone can enter the religious life and in her case it means finding and taking proper care for her mother.

 

[TiggerS]

Quoting DevotedChild

Yeah, i agree. you make sound bad, which i don’t hold against you, and I think people keep misunderstanding my message.

Apologies DevotedChild and on two scores. Firstly for making “sound bad” and for misunderstanding your message. What I meant to do and apologies again for not making it sufficiently clear is that the OP’s circumstances and personal attraction are different from yours.

What I have been trying to say is that no matter where we are in life there will be times in our lives that God will ask sacrifices of us. I, myself, am trying to follow God’s Will because I know that He wants happiness for me and will place me where i will find happiness and that seems to be the religious life from the attraction that I have for it.

Absolutely, no Christ without His Cross. Sacrifices will come along in any life and the Grace and sacrifices necessary to make great saints of us and this is with any life at all.
God enrich you for desiring to follow His Will and for the intention to enter religious life though it will cost you.

Her case is different from mine. If God wants her to be in the religious life, then good for her, that doesn’t mean that it is now. There are things that must be settled first before anyone can enter the religious life and in her case it means finding and taking proper care for her mother.

Well said indeed. The OP just now is drawn and attracted to taking care of her mother. And life and God’s Will is an unfolding matter, and who knows what lays ahead, and indeed, for any of us. As Jesus said Matthew Ch6 drbo.org/x/d?b=drb&bk=47&ch=6&l=30&f=s#x “[34] Be not therefore solicitous for tomorrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.” (meaning that today’s problems are enough to be concerned about without concern for tomorrow). Some are inclined to live in the past (make their personal investment in the past), some inclined to live in the future and make their personal investment in the future - our call and vocation for today is to live in today and in God’s Will for today. In the Eternal Now of God.
Of course to some degree we all probably look to the future because in many ways our future begins in this day - and it ideally is in today that we invest knowing it will somehow speak to our future.

God bless - TS

 

[DevotedChild]

Quoting DevotedChild

Apologies DevotedChild and on two scores. Firstly for making “sound bad” and for misunderstanding your message. What I meant to do and apologies again for not making it sufficiently clear is that the OP’s circumstances and personal attraction are different from yours.

Absolutely, no Christ without His Cross. Sacrifices will come along in any life and the Grace and sacrifices necessary to make great saints of us and this is with any life at all.
God enrich you for desiring to follow His Will and for the intention to enter religious life though it will cost you.

Well said indeed. The OP just now is drawn and attracted to taking care of her mother. And life and God’s Will is an unfolding matter, and who knows what lays ahead, and indeed, for any of us. As Jesus said Matthew Ch6 drbo.org/x/d?b=drb&bk=47&ch=6&l=30&f=s#x “[34] Be not therefore solicitous for tomorrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.” (meaning that today’s problems are enough to be concerned about without concern for tomorrow). Some are inclined to live in the past (make their personal investment in the past), some inclined to live in the future and make their personal investment in the future - our call and vocation for today is to live in today and in God’s Will for today. In the Eternal Now of God.
Of course to some degree we all probably look to the future because in many ways our future begins in this day - and it ideally is in today that we invest knowing it will somehow speak to our future.

God bless - TS

You are forgiven. I figured there was some kind of misunderstanding.

God Bless

 

[TiggerS]

You are forgiven. I figured there was some kind of misunderstanding.

God Bless

Thank you:thumbsup:

 

[DevotedChild]

Thank you:thumbsup:

Welcome

 

[Rence]

Thank you for answering. However, I must disagree with your statement. I think that God puts a desire in one’s heart for his or her vocation. If, let’s say, I felt that I wouldn’t be happy in the religious life, but was going for it anyway to “sacrifice myself” in the name of God’s love, I believe it wouldn’t be right. God wants me to help others and to sacrifice some things, yes, but I think He also wants me to be happy.

I agree with you Meggie. I don’t know too many people who are good at what they do, when they in fact, don’t enjoy what they do. I believe God puts desire in one’s heart for their vocation as well. And I agree, I think God wants us to be happy in our lives. No matter what your vocation in life, I think you’re allowed to serve God in that capacity, and be happy too

 

[Monica4316]

Hello!

I am a nineteen-year-old young lady, convert to the Catholic faith. I know that I’m still very young and that I shouldn’t worry too much about my vocation, but I think I feel a pull towards the religious life. But I’m worried about this: I am an only child and my parents split up years ago. My father has a girlfriend who could take care of him if I decided to be a nun, but my mother has nobody besides me: she doesn’t have close friends, she doesn’t speak with her sister and her brothers live pretty far away. Could God call me to be a nun in my circumstances? I don’t want my mother to be lonely and taken care of by strangers when she gets older. I love her with all my heart!

I am a very worried person. I know that I probably shouldn’t try to plan everything in advance, but it just keeps bothering me…

Any thoughts?

Thank you!

Meggie

Meggie, I have a similar situation… I wish I had a great answer for you but I am still trying to figure it out myself. Maybe it could help to use the uncertainty as an opportunity to trust God, rather than wanting to have everything planned. I know it’s something I struggle with as well.

God bless you!