What would my moral responsability be?

  • Thread starter Thread starter child_of_God85
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

child_of_God85

Guest
My mom works at a boarding kennel with a young married woman (the girls is about 24). A guy also works there who is 19. The girl and this guy are ALWAYS flirting and making sexual remarks to each other. They even disapear together sometimes and we can only guess what they could be doing. If they haven’t already had sex we’re guessing it’s only a matter of time.
The girls husband is a really nice, smart guy. He comes over to our house every other week to do yard work for us, and the more we get to know him the more guilty we feel about knowing his wife is being unfaithful to him.
If we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was having sex with this other guy, would we be morally responsable to tell her husband?
 
No

You are obligated to offer guidance, if she tells you to fly a kite you do not have to fly the kite either. I use the story of the man (because she is a woman) about how the man who quit his job/church/group because he knew he could not stay away from a woman there. Thus, sparing his family form a greater pain. How much I admire a person of that moral character. Second do not assume you know what you don’t know. People of high moral character can go for a hamburger and it does mean going for a hamburger. Ultimately she makes her own decisions, your part is only to remind her, her actions are problematic and she may want to change course.
 
Believe me, I know this girl does not have a high moral charactor. She told her boss the other day that one of the customers that came in was so hot and that it turned her one so much that she had a hard time helping him with the dog. This is a married woman she’s talking about.
The guy that she’s messing around with at the kennel has a really bad reputation. The other thing we’re worried about is if they do wind up having a full on affair, what if she’s gets and STD from him and passes it on to her husband?
I just can’t help but thing of the saying ‘evil flourishes when good men stand by’. This girl is so immature and selfish, it just makes me sick.
 
Even if the woman is immoral, maybe you should try to talk her out of pursuing this affair before telling her husband. I’m sure she doesn’t want to destroy her marriage.
 
Yeah, I don’t see any moral responsiblity for you here. She is the one with the responsiblity. If you feel guilty try talking to HER about it. But as far as telling the husband…NO WAY!
 
Your moral responsibility is to be neutral. You can’t be a tattle-tale – what if you’re wrong, and destroy their marriage?

Neither can you be a facilitator – you can’t lie or help cover up an adulterous affair.

I would suggest telling her that her behavior is disruptive and interferes with her job – that you have a perfect right to do. And depending on how she reacts, you might then point out that it could also affect her marriage.
 
Just my .02 - please remember that not everyone believes that monogamy is the only option. There are lots of people out there that are polyamorous, or have an otherwise open relationship.**

I think “vern humphrey” said it well, be neutral, but let her know that her behaviour makes it difficult for you to do your job.

~Jess

**I’m just sayin’. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I agree with it.
 
I think I have a hard time being nice to this girl because she and this guy are also trying to get my mom fired. They gang up on my mom and say things like ‘Hi ugly’ or tell their boss that my mom cheats on her hours (when she doesn’t). Then meeting her husband and seeing what a nice, polite guy he is, I just feel bad for him.
It’s hard for me to describe what this girl is like. She’s not the person that you can go to and try to talk about how her behavior is wrong. She’d either blow up at me and call me a prude or give me a blank stare.
I truely believe that she doesn’t care if her actions destroy her marriage. The only thing that would upset her if her husband did leave her is the fact that he’s rich.
 
child_of_God85 said:
I think I have a hard time being nice to this girl because she and this guy are also trying to get my mom fired. They gang up on my mom and say things like ‘Hi ugly’ or tell their boss that my mom cheats on her hours (when she doesn’t). Then meeting her husband and seeing what a nice, polite guy he is, I just feel bad for him.
It’s hard for me to describe what this girl is like. She’s not the person that you can go to and try to talk about how her behavior is wrong. She’d either blow up at me and call me a prude or give me a blank stare.
I truely believe that she doesn’t care if her actions destroy her marriage. The only thing that would upset her if her husband did leave her is the fact that he’s rich.
Click to expand...
OH boy, this girl is a gold digger too huh??? Maybe you could nicely invite her dh over for lunch on your work break and let him judge with his own eyes!:eek:
 
Support your mother, but otherwise mind your own business. In the long run whether you intervene or not it is going to get messy. Don’t get spattered. Mr. Humphrey makes a good point. It would be different if you and she were relatively good friends, but you aren’t and all you will get out of talking to her is the old middle finger.
 
Let me explain where I’m coming from. My father cheated on my mom for a long time and people we were friends with knew about it. It wasn’t until she actually found love letters that she knew he was cheating. She’s always said that if someone had at least poited out what he was doing it would have been better than the shock of finding it out on her own.
I think I’ll probably just go and I ask my Priest. I’ll take his word.

Oh, and I would NEVER befirend anyone who so blatantly disregards marriage as this girl is doing.
 
child_of_God85 said:
Let me explain where I’m coming from. My father cheated on my mom for a long time and people we were friends with knew about it. It wasn’t until she actually found love letters that she knew he was cheating. She’s always said that if someone had at least poited out what he was doing it would have been better than the shock of finding it out on her own.
I think I’ll probably just go and I ask my Priest. I’ll take his word.

Oh, and I would NEVER befirend anyone who so blatantly disregards marriage as this girl is doing.
Click to expand...
I think it would be wise to ask your priest.

Remember, this is not about your father and mother. It’s about two entirely different people – and your earlier experience may make it difficult to maintain your objectivity.
 
Not to butt in too far, but I does seem you are tying many unrelated issued together which could well contribute to the problem. I would suggest contributing to a solution instead? This woman may not be cheating. Second any cheating in your family does not transfer on to her. Third if your mother is being poorly treated at work she should change jobs. If your mother can not change jobs she needs to address the issues associated with that.

One of the great injustices done to the US poor ( I am not including you as US poor) is not properly teaching them how the US labor market works. Later these people entrap themselves because they either stop developing skills, or fail to benefits from their skills. The market is designed to freely let you sell our skills. Successful people sell these skills and develop new skills, these action consistently increase their value. If their current employer does not compensate for that they simply sell the skills to some one else. They do no leave screaming, cussing, or crying. They simply say I will be leaving soon I want to give you notice of that now.

I am not telling you it is easy to change jobs. I am telling you it is not the reasonability of the employer to intervene in the decision of the woman, or your opinion of it.
 
Actually two of the things I mention (the cheating and my mom being teated poorly at work) do fit in together. We were talking last night an noticed a pattern with this guy and girl at work. The only time He’s nasty towards my mom is when he’s with this girl I think he’s trying to impress this girl.
And please, don’t tell me I don’t know that she’s not cheating when we’ve heard them talking sexually to each other and whenever she’s standing where he can see her she has her legs spread as far apart as they will go.
My mother is not in the position where she can just quit. We live in an area where it is very hard for a white person to get a good job without having to know spanish. I can’t even get a job in this city.
 
child_of_God85 said:
Actually two of the things I mention (the cheating and my mom being teated poorly at work) do fit in together. We were talking last night an noticed a pattern with this guy and girl at work. The only time He’s nasty towards my mom is when he’s with this girl I think he’s trying to impress this girl.
And please, don’t tell me I don’t know that she’s not cheating when we’ve heard them talking sexually to each other and whenever she’s standing where he can see her she has her legs spread as far apart as they will go.
My mother is not in the position where she can just quit. We live in an area where it is very hard for a white person to get a good job without having to know spanish. I can’t even get a job in this city.
Click to expand...
None of this has any bearing on the problem. You should be neutral, neither accuse nor facilitate this behavior.

If your mother is in a supervisory position, it would be appropriate for her to point out to them that their behavior is disrupting work.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top