What would you do if your parent keeps giving you framed pictures of your in-laws?

[sparkle]

Hello Friends. I have kind of a very strange predicament.

My own parents know my in-laws and I are not on the best terms. They are very unkind people and have treated their own son, and me horribly, and my parents know this. However, they’re always attempting to be the martyrs here, by inviting them over to OUR house, to MY holiday meals, to MY children’s school functions, and now they’re bringing over framed pictures of them, and actually setting them around my house, saying: “you don’t have any pictures of them around your home”…Is this weird or what??? I want and have tried to tell them most kindly to “but out”—but to no avail. In one breath, they say how unkind these folks have been to us, how much they understand, etc., and in the next, how I “NEED” to invite them to do something with us. All my holiday family get-togethers have been most un-pleasant because my mother has “forced” me to invite them. I guess I was very weak to speak up to it. But now I have come to my senses a bit more. My father is a Protestant Pastor, my mother, the “preacher’s wife”.

Any advice? Thank you so much!!!

 

[springbreeze]

Dear friend

Put a picture of Jesus next to your in-laws’ picture and light a candle infront of them and pray for them that your relationship improve. Tell your parents thanks for the pictures of the in-laws and that you are praying for them



Sometimes we have to be that bit quicker off the mark than those around us.

I will keep your family in my prayers.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[MParedon]

Invite your in-laws to your parents house whenever you visit your parents. You won’t have the struggle of being hostess and endure rudeness from your in-laws.
Then firmly talk to your parents about how you want your househole events to be peaceful and you want to protect your family from being marginalized in your own home. Tell them that you are willing to do events with your in-laws but it is up to YOU and YOUR family to decide when and where.

 

[Ann_Cheryl]

sparkle:

Hello Friends. I have kind of a very strange predicament.My own parents know my in-laws and I are not on the best terms.

Any advice? Thank you so much!!!

Have I been in this position! What saved me is that we lived ten hours from them. My husband’s mother and my mother were two peas in a pod. They were controlling and did not respect that their children were grown. Are you an only child? Do you have brothers and sisters who also are married? Sometimes parents do not know how to relate to a grown child. If we are good people, we respect our parents. This was my problem. I wouldn’t say anything to either parent both were outrages in their behaviour. I do believe that the relationship with my Mother in law would have been better if I had stuck up for myself. As for your mother, you need to make it clear to her that she is treating you as a child. If you don’t want your mom to control you stop her. You are already to late. When she put the pictures up you should have taken them down in front of her. What this is all about is control under the guise of being a Christian. My advise is talk to your mom and be BLUNT. Don’t sugar coat it. Phrase it in non threating terms. When you brought the pictures I felt… When you tell her your feeling make sure it is not a thought. I felt inadequate not I felt you treated me like a child. If you can replace I feel with I think in the sentence and still make sense, than it is a thought not a feeling. I finally did this with my mother and found a lot of times her motives were not what I thougth they were. How I wish I would have spoken up more.

 

[sparkle]

Thanks so much for your responses!!! I really don’t want a framed picture of people who are unkind, unsupportive of my marriage and family, critical, etc., etc., glaring at me on MY mantle in MY home, that someone else put there. Who would? Isn’t it up to the homeowner to put pictures up of what THEY want? I think so.

Funny, I have given my parents a couple beautiful icons in the past, and they are no-where to be seen in their home. I asked my father where one was, he said “oh somewhere”-----then I found it in a closet under some books. But I wasn’t about to nail it to their wall or anything–that would be up to them. Maybe it’s the same sort of thing perhaps…

Thanks you all!

 

[jrabs]

springbreeze:

Dear friend

Put a picture of Jesus next to your in-laws’ picture and light a candle infront of them and pray for them that your relationship improve. Tell your parents thanks for the pictures of the in-laws and that you are praying for them

great advice! very funny!

 

[leo123]

I think the idea of putting a picture of Our Saviour beside their picture sounds good.

I’m not married but i am engaged and I’ve had quite a few pains accepting my fiance’s materialistic and lukewarm family. But in loving her and asking her to accept my family I have to accept hers.