What would you do?

[damooster]

RCIA is over and I was baptized and confirmed last month. Now I’m having a hard time deciding on where to register and attend Mass.

My RCIA parish (which is not my home parish) is very liberal. Some of them have openly criticized the diocese bishop (who is very conservative), and one guest speaker a few weeks ago stopped just short of criticizing the Pope (he said “don’t let anyone tell you that birth control is against the natural order” when talking about the Pope’s comments in Africa). During Mass, I disagree with a lot of things the parish does: holding hands during the “Our Father,” the head pastor’s dog sleeping under the altar, lots of applauding, another pastor encouraging the parish to recite the doxology with him etc.

But I feel very comfortable and welcomed there. Everyone knows me and I feel like I’m part of a family. I know that feeling comfortable is secondary to reverence and properly worshipping God, but I feel so uncomfortable at the more reverent parishes in my area. I want the silence and reverence I get at the other parishes, but the people are cold and distant. I’ve gone to Mass at my home parish a couple of times and I just felt out of place (I live in an affluent area and I’m, well, not affluent).

I know that the decision is ultimately up to me, but what would you do if you were in my position? Should I go where I’m comfortable (and risk spiritual growth) or go to a more reverent parish and just deal with my being uncomfortable?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Wolves]

I definitely would never attend a parish that directly contradicts the Pope’s and bishops’ teachings. It sounds like you may need to contact your Diocese about this if they’re encouraging birth control and being disobedient to your bishop.

As for having a dog sleep under the Altar, that’s horrible and sacrilege. You definitely should leave that parish or try to get your parish to reform.

 

[dcrowmik]

I know that the decision is ultimately up to me, but what would you do if you were in my position? Should I go where I’m comfortable (and risk spiritual growth) or go to a more reverent parish and just deal with my being uncomfortable?

“…and risk spiritual growth” – I’m wondering if you may have answered your own question.

If you feel in the back of your mind that perhaps your spiritual life may be hampered, then why let it be hampered? It can be nice to feel all warm and fuzzy by being “welcomed” by “family” at a place that, by your description, appears to not be totally in communion with the Faith. However, Satan has a way with making things that aren’t the best for us feel that way.

On the other hand, if you feel self conscious around the people at the well to do parish, remember that Jesus was a carpenter and the apostles were just simple fishermen in the world of the rich and well to do Pharisees.

 

[NPC]

I have really come to dislike the terms “Liberal” and “Conservative” when describing priests, parishes, the Church, etc. Unfortunately the word “liberal” is really a euphemistic term for not being completely obedient to the teachings of the Church. Damooster, your post confirms this. You say you feel very comfortable there - I’ve no doubt that the priest may be a most sincere man and that he merely wants the congregation to feel more involved in the Mass. However, if the people truly realised that at Mass they are present at the sacrifice of Calvary, they would not need to recite the doxology with the priest or hold hands during the ‘Our Father’ - such a magnificent privilege and miracle would be sufficient.

As Dcrowmik said, you probably have answered your own question - if the modus operandi of the priests is hampering your spiritual development, you probably ought to go elsewhere. I know it is lovely when there is a strong sense of community in a parish, but go to Mass first and formost to meet Christ. There was a thread some time ago on the concept of “Church shopping” - personally I’m in favour of it. Of course it would be great if everyone could go to their own parish church - it would be equally good if every priest could, as the saying goes, read the black and do the red. I strongly suggest that you shop around and find a parish that is, first and foremost, orthodox and loyal to the teachings of the Church, the Holy Father and the directions of the local bishop.

You should also consider, as Wolves said, contacting the bishop - I don’t know if anything would come of it, but I think it is well worth communicating your concerns. It seems that there is so much outright disobedience in your parish, it would be irresponsible on the part of the bishop to merely sweep these matters under the proverbial carpet.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

RCIA is over and I was baptized and confirmed last month. Now I’m having a hard time deciding on where to register and attend Mass.

My RCIA parish (which is not my home parish) is very liberal. Some of them have openly criticized the diocese bishop (who is very conservative), and one guest speaker a few weeks ago stopped just short of criticizing the Pope (he said “don’t let anyone tell you that birth control is against the natural order” when talking about the Pope’s comments in Africa). During Mass, I disagree with a lot of things the parish does: holding hands during the “Our Father,” the head pastor’s dog sleeping under the altar, lots of applauding, another pastor encouraging the parish to recite the doxology with him etc.

But I feel very comfortable and welcomed there. Everyone knows me and I feel like I’m part of a family. I know that feeling comfortable is secondary to reverence and properly worshipping God, but I feel so uncomfortable at the more reverent parishes in my area. I want the silence and reverence I get at the other parishes, but the people are cold and distant. I’ve gone to Mass at my home parish a couple of times and I just felt out of place (I live in an affluent area and I’m, well, not affluent).

I know that the decision is ultimately up to me, but what would you do if you were in my position? Should I go where I’m comfortable (and risk spiritual growth) or go to a more reverent parish and just deal with my being uncomfortable?

Thanks in advance.

I would suggest registering where you live. Attend the RCIA parish now and then to stay connected. But also participate in the other parish attend Mass the other two or three weekends and get involved in their programs. You may develop some connections there. Give it 6 months, then decide.

 

[idrum677]

Mother Angelica summed up your situation nicely:

If your parish hinders your relationship with God, leave and find a new one!

(paraphrasing)