What would you do?

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jennypekny

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My sister is giving her child up for adoption. The father of the child wants nothing to do with either my sister or the baby. In fact, he and his parents pressured my sister to get an abortion. The question I have is this: should the father and his parents be allowed to see the baby after it is born? What would you do? I don’t want to be uncharitable, but I’m not sure what he or his parents would say or do. I’m sure there are some legal issues here, that I’m unaware of.
 
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jennypekny:
My sister is giving her child up for adoption. The father of the child wants nothing to do with either my sister or the baby. In fact, he and his parents pressured my sister to get an abortion. The question I have is this: should the father and his parents be allowed to see the baby after it is born? What would you do? I don’t want to be uncharitable, but I’m not sure what he or his parents would say or do. I’m sure there are some legal issues here, that I’m unaware of.
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Laws vary by state, generally the parents sign away their rights when the child is adopted.
I would adopt the child myself if possible.
 
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jennypekny:
My sister is giving her child up for adoption. The father of the child wants nothing to do with either my sister or the baby. In fact, he and his parents pressured my sister to get an abortion. The question I have is this: should the father and his parents be allowed to see the baby after it is born? What would you do? I don’t want to be uncharitable, but I’m not sure what he or his parents would say or do. I’m sure there are some legal issues here, that I’m unaware of.
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sometimes seeing the baby can and has sent home the message that there is a face and a life that you have an obligation to…i see nothing wrong infact it should be required for him to look into the eyes of the baby and he should be required to hold the baby to and make his goodbyes… it might have an entirely different effect than you think…

If you don’t want to be uncharitable, … then don’t be, don’t try to sell yourself on the notion that because he has been unkind, that somehow deserves like kind behavior from you… 👍
 
There are legal issues and your sister should check your state adoption laws.

The child’s father has to relinquish parental rights in order for the child to be legally adopted. If he wishes to see his child, that is also his right.
 
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cmom:
Laws vary by state, generally the parents sign away their rights when the child is adopted.
I would adopt the child myself if possible.
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Good advice.

The adoption agency should know what the local laws are, and the forms that the father would need to fill out. If you can adopt the child, it would be wonderful for you to do so.
 
If you don’t want to be uncharitable, … then don’t be, don’t try to sell yourself on the notion that because he has been unkind, that somehow deserves like kind behavior from you… 👍
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Thank you for this response. I don’t intend on treating him badly. I would like to see his reaction when he sees the baby. Maybe he will see how beautiful life is and regret the uncharitable things he and his parents have said to my sister. I will continue to pray that things will go smoothly after the baby is born. My sister has found a really nice couple to adopt the baby and the couple is really excited. Thanks for all the responses, support and prayers.

Jenny
 
I really don’t know what is best for the father or the grandparents. But it seems important to be sure to do what is best for the baby. For the child’s sake, I’m thinking that it is important that the adoptive family BE the family, be the only family, since they will have responsibility for the child.

JimG
 
What a courageous young woman your sister is! May God richly bless her!

It sounds to me as if the father and his family have already made their decision to have nothing to do with the baby. He will still more than likely (assuming all states are at least similar to NC) have to sign papers relinquishing parental rights, but it is not necessary for him to see the baby in order to do so. And if he doesn’t want to cooperate, the lawyer should suggest to him the obligation of child support. That usually gets 'em where it hurts! :tsktsk:

I used to work for a lawyer and we handled several private adoptions. I loved adoption work – someone is always happy when we’re done! And what a truly loving and responsible decision it is for a birth mother to relinquish a baby for adoption!

It just bugs the daylights out of me – around here if a girl starts talking about adoption as a reasonable option, people get all offended because she’s “giving up” her baby, but it’s not so awful if she aborts? :rolleyes:

God bless your sister! God bless the adoptive parents! God bless that precious little one! and God bless you, too!
 
Have you considered adopting the child yourself? After all, you are the Aunt.
 
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