What's it like to have a large family?

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Hermione

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I’m curious what it’s like to have many children (4 or more).

Do any of you have 4 or more children?

What’s it like? How much time do you have to yourself? Do you get to spend a lot of one-on-one time with your partner? (I would appreciate specific responses, such as number of hours per day etc.)

How much time do you spend on chores and other necessary things?

Just how hard is it???

Thanks 🙂
 
I have 6. See us at www.jackson8.com

My job is managing 400 apartments…and the job waiting for me when I get home is harder.

In the early years, before one or more of them is old enough to help, free time is a rarity.

Thankfully both my and my wife’s parents live close - and are very helpful.

As for “free time” with your spouse; that’s all up to how willing you are to regiment your time. As for us, it’s not very regimented…except for bedtime. We are pretty firm about their bedtime so that we can have time together to talk, or…well, you know 🙂
 
I have four kids ages 11, 9, 6 and 2 and for me personally I am overwhelmed a good majority of the time 😃 I will see other families with more kids than me and they seem like they have it so together I go home and wonder what I’m doing wrong, no kidding, I get just frustrated with myself. My husband works full time and he does shift work so sometimes he is on days and sometimes he is on nights and then he also has started his own business and is trying to get that off the ground so when he is not at work he is often gone anyways with his own business (he is a master electrician) he would like to go on his own once he has generated enough business but until that time he also needs to work for someone else so it is very hard as far as getting any extra help. My husbands mom lives over an hour away and she is 79 years old and in no shape to help with kids and my folks are about an hour away and they are not as old and they will take my oldest daughter once a month on the weekend and some in the summer but my mom has a ton of health issues and is in constant pain so really it is next to impossible for her to help even though she wishes she could do more. My siblings live far away and have their own children to deal with and although I’ve looked and looked for a babysitter in our area all the girls that are babysitting age are either taken or not interested in watching four kids or they work at McDonalds etc. babysitting has sadly lost alot of popularity as now more and more kids are choosing to work at some fast food place to make extra money. So since my daughter was born 11 years ago I have basically been a mom all the time, the only break I get is in the hosptial having a baby 🙂
We always have our kids with us or at least one with us, now that three of them are in school I take the youngest during the day and get everything I can done around town so I don’t have to take the whole family to the store etc. as that Never goes over well.
I am so thankful for my children, they are a huge blessing and I would not trade them for anything but I won’t lie, I do look forward to them getting older and being able to do more for themselves and as soon as my oldest is able to watch her younger siblings I plan to have her babysit, weve tried it but it has gone poorly so far so she needs to grow up a little more. I’m so jealous of those large families that make it look so easy, I want to know their secret so I can try it and make my life maybe a little more easy and less stressful 😃 I think each family is different of course and my mom is from 11 and so is my husband and they did great, managed great but when I think of 11 kids I about throw up, I know I would have to be carted away due to a nervous breakdown 😃
 
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catholica:
I have 6. See us at www.jackson8.com

My job is managing 400 apartments…and the job waiting for me when I get home is harder.

In the early years, before one or more of them is old enough to help, free time is a rarity.

Thankfully both my and my wife’s parents live close - and are very helpful.

As for “free time” with your spouse; that’s all up to how willing you are to regiment your time. As for us, it’s not very regimented…except for bedtime. We are pretty firm about their bedtime so that we can have time together to talk, or…well, you know 🙂
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Great looking family.
 
Well, you’ve heard that the call to the priesthood is called Holy Orders?

Well, the call to matrimony should be called Holy Disorder, because all one can do is pray to survive the chaos that happens day to day!
 
I’m the oldest of 4 children – we were all together all of the time, my father is an evangelist and we all traveled together on the road, so we were always in a 30 foot RV or a hotel room together. As adults, I’m very close to my mom and dad as well as my youngest sister.

This same youngest sister is now a SAHM of 4 girls. They are a military family, and so much enjoy spending time together as a family. They take the girls with them on vacations, etc. They probably go out on a “date” to a movie as a couple once a month, that is by choice – they just prefer to enjoy life with their girls. For instance, every Valentine’s Day they have a family tradition of Fondue – they have a sign that sits on the dinner table that says “I am Foudue of You” – and all six enjoy fondue together. I admire their commitment and love, they are the happiest married couple I’ve ever known!
 
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kamz:
I have four kids ages 11, 9, 6 and 2 and for me personally I am overwhelmed a good majority of the time 😃 I will see other families with more kids than me and they seem like they have it so together I go home and wonder what I’m doing wrong, no kidding, …I’m so jealous of those large families that make it look so easy, I want to know their secret so I can try it and make my life maybe a little more easy and less stressful 😃 I
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My secret is, I just fake being pulled together.😉
I make sure the kids are dressed well and I wipe the crud off their faces before we go out. Oh, and we don’t go out in public all together very much.

Actually, I was pretty overwhelmed when I just had one child. It gets better every year. When a new child comes along, there is a little adjustment period, but it all falls into place.

When my oldest was old enough to baby sit, it changed everything! I leave them and get out on my own for groceries, (I usually take the baby.) My husband and I can get out for coffee or dessert some evenings after the younger ones bedtime. My husband and I spend most of the evenings together while the children entertain each other.

I watch while some parents spend all their energy entertaining their one or two children and I honestly think they’d be less overwhelmed if they had more children for their children to play with. Parenting is hard work. It is overwhelming at times. But it overwhelms every parent, no matter how many children they have.
 
We have 4 children ages 2 - 13. It’s hard work, non stop, loud, and messy and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. My kids get along really well… are supportive of each other and rarely fight with each other. I don’t know why… it’s not something we “tried” to do… have them get along well, but they do. The older 3 help with the littlest so that’s nice for me. But it seems that my husband and I don’t get very much time together. How many hours per day? Zero. Maybe an hour or two a week. We don’t have any family in our state though and babysitters cost a fortune, although we’ve gotten out a bit more now that our oldest can watch the others. In the early AM I get up before everyone else to run, but other than that I have ZERO time alone… haven’t in years & years it seems. In the past several years I’ve only been alone in my own house maybe two times. We mostly do things as a family. I don’t mind, but I think my husband would like more time with just the two of us. We both realize though that in the blink of an eye, they will be off on their own so we cherish the time now. Me probably more than him. Chores like laudry & cleaning & shopping & cooking are non stop. I don’t work outside the home though so that’s my full time job. But despite all that I truly feel that I have been blessed.
 
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Hermione:
I’m curious what it’s like to have many children (4 or more).

Do any of you have 4 or more children?

What’s it like? How much time do you have to yourself? Do you get to spend a lot of one-on-one time with your partner? (I would appreciate specific responses, such as number of hours per day etc.)

How much time do you spend on chores and other necessary things?

Just how hard is it???

Thanks 🙂
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I have 5 kids. I hope that qualifies. In fact, i have a son that just turned one, and my wife is due for my third daughter in June. I take the Catholic doctrine of no contraception seriously, along with God’s mandate to “Go forth and multiply”. I do have to say this. I am tired all the time. But, in the end it will be worth it.
 
Hermione, do you get the drift now?

Life is just crazy with a bunch of rugrats! But I wouldn’t trade it!
 
I think the hardest thing is when one parent gets ill. I just had the worst flu about a month ago, I’m not kidding, I was out of it for almost 2 weeks and on top of that my 6 year old was also very very sick too and my husband could not take off more than one day during that time, I could hardly get out of bed to get my kids off to school, make lunch, dinner and tend to the two year old, I laid on the couch and watched him and I cried my eyes out, I was so sick and I just wanted to go to bed so bad and sleep but it was not possible, I was the only adult in the house and I had to take care of my kids, I tell you this, I’ve never gotten a flu shot before but this fall I’m first in line. It was the grace of God that got me through this but it was pure awful and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, that is the hardest part for me, no matter how many kids you have even if its only one, when a parent gets sick and can’t get any help what can they do? That is hard 😦
 
I come from a family of Eight children. My Father worked all the time and my Mother was a House wife. My parents taught us to love one another. We were always a close family, lol…(literally, we lived in a 3 bedroom house!) We are all older now, married with children of our own (26 grandchildren). We still find time to get together every weekend for some kind of activity. The greatest blessing is a large family.
 
My fiance came from a family of 4 siblings. She always talks about how great it was, until you really pry and then she tells a different story. But I have respect for anyone who can juggle a large family. Unfortunately, my fiance and I have very different ideas on the number of children we want: I say 3, she says 5.
 
We have seven children, ages 4-14. Life is busy. Loud. And if that isn’t enough, my insane wife HOMESCHOOLS!!!😃

Seriously: It is a delight. If we had been told on the altar what we were in for , we would have fled screaming down the aisle. But now we would not trade this for anything.

And of course, in addition to instant socialization at home, we have some KILLER stories to tell.
 
I also homeschool. We do not have family to help, but have met good people who try to fill the family gaps when we need them to. The only time any of our children are away from both of us, is when I’m in labor with the next. We don’t mind this though. We have “couple” time after they are in bed at about 8:00. We live in a 1000 square foot house and drive a 12 passenger van. I use 2 dozen eggs, a loaf of bread and 8 fruits (like 8 oranges) for breakfast every morning. I go through 1 - 1 1/2 gallons of milk per day.

I think you adjust as they arrive in the family. To those with only 2 or 4, it can seem very over-whelming to imagine 7. But we didn’t have 7 at once. All you have to think about is just 1 more (well unless there’s a multiple pregnancy!) and really what’s 1 or 2 more? My kids get lots of attention! How many kids have 8 other companions for life? I think you have to ask yourself what’s truely needed and stop bothering with the wants - it eliminates a good 95% of the stresses in life.

My hubby is an only child and he admits it was a great childhood to a kid. His parents were both busy making money for a retirement that never came, so he was able to really be free to do his own thing. He never had to share a toy (much less a bedroom!) or worry about getting a car or going to college or if there was money for soccer tournaments.

Now he’s older and he sees things differently. He came home from school to an empty house 5 days a week for 3 hours from 2nd grade on. He never had anyone to share secrets with after mom and dad went to bed. Now his parents are older too and their care is left to him alone. There is no one he can call and say “Hey remember when we went golfing with Dad?” or to share his pain when they die. There are no cousins for our children to play with or brothers/sisters to have over for holidays. My husband was an only child and he grew up to be an only adult. As sad as that may seem - his parents are the ones who really missed out.

My kids may fight and wish to be an only kid at various points, but long after I’m gone - these brothers and sisters will remain family and they will value that one day.
 
But we didn’t have 7 at once. All you have to think about is just 1 more (well unless there’s a multiple pregnancy!) and really what’s 1 or 2 more?
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:rotfl:

That’s what I tell people when they ask, “How do you manage?”

I always replied, “Well, one is a huge adjustment. So is #2. After that, it’s just a matter of degree!!”

What I did get tired of was hearing, “Haven’t you guys figured out what causes that?” My pat responses were, “Oh. Is THAT what is causing it?” or my favorite (to married couples), “Yes indeed. You might try it yourself someday!!”😛
 
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kamz:
I think the hardest thing is when one parent gets ill. I just had the worst flu about a month ago, I’m not kidding, I was out of it for almost 2 weeks and on top of that my 6 year old was also very very sick too and my husband could not take off more than one day during that time, I could hardly get out of bed to get my kids off to school, make lunch, dinner and tend to the two year old, I laid on the couch and watched him and I cried my eyes out, I was so sick and I just wanted to go to bed so bad and sleep but it was not possible, I was the only adult in the house and I had to take care of my kids, I tell you this, I’ve never gotten a flu shot before but this fall I’m first in line. It was the grace of God that got me through this but it was pure awful and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, that is the hardest part for me, no matter how many kids you have even if its only one, when a parent gets sick and can’t get any help what can they do? That is hard 😦
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I think it is harder when the person that stays home with the kids-usually the mom-gets sick. The military will give my hubby time off when he is ill and he can come home and get taken care of. No one gives me time off when I am sick. I still have to do the same things. I also never get sick on the weekend when my hubby could care for me. I know that he would love to help, but the military won’t give him a week off to care for his sick wife.
 
Hard work, I mean really hard, emotionally physically and spiritually oh and scary too really scary. BUT It is incredibly rewarding. To know that these little people were entrusted to us, that God partook in creation with us and that He is there with us every day as we help them to grow for Him! Wow! See why its scary? what an awesome responsibility!

My 3yo just gave me a picture he drew, its of a spider and a fish. He is so proud of it, nearly bursting with pride! Its these moments that make all the tiredness, etc. just not matter! My day is filled with these moments, staring into my baby’s eyes, tiny arms wrapped around my neck, my 5yo ‘Mum, mum, mum!’ What! ‘I love you’. Some even better and some that pass me by without my appreciation. God has blessed us incredibly and I pray every day that I will live up to His trust.

Check out my blog for pictures of my kids
toomanyflowers.blogspot.com/
 
Well, I only have four kids all spaced about three years apart-15, 12. 8. and 6. I would love more. I think that the most important quality to have no matter how many children you have is a sense of humor. Most things that drive other moms crazy are actually quite funny if you think about it.

You also can’t worry about being the perfect mom, with the perfect genius children, the perfectly clean house, and the perfect size 3 body. Things go wrong.
 
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bejonama:
Hard work, I mean really hard, emotionally physically and spiritually oh and scary too really scary. BUT It is incredibly rewarding. To know that these little people were entrusted to us, that God partook in creation with us and that He is there with us every day as we help them to grow for Him! Wow! See why its scary? what an awesome responsibility!

My 3yo just gave me a picture he drew, its of a spider and a fish. He is so proud of it, nearly bursting with pride! Its these moments that make all the tiredness, etc. just not matter! My day is filled with these moments, staring into my baby’s eyes, tiny arms wrapped around my neck, my 5yo ‘Mum, mum, mum!’ What! ‘I love you’. Some even better and some that pass me by without my appreciation. God has blessed us incredibly and I pray every day that I will live up to His trust.

Check out my blog for pictures of my kids
toomanyflowers.blogspot.com/
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you have an incredibly gorgeous family…you are living out my dream!!! my husband and i are 25 and we long to start our family 🙂 we hope to have a dozen or so someday. 😉
 
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