What's more important, saving souls or paperwork?

[thestickman]

Please forgive me if this is the wrong forum to post this question in. I’m frustrated and need some guidance.

Wife and are are both having a VERY difficult time starting the annulment process. It seems no matter what paperwork we fill out it’s either the wrong form or the copies of our marriage certficates or divorce papers aren’t true copies or the short form our parish priest told the Deacon to tell us to fill out actually isn’t correct.

The left hand doesn’t seem to know what the right hand requires.

And all the while, we are forced to wait for weeks and weeks (in addition to the 18 to 24 months we’re told we can expect to wait once the proper papers are filed and accepted) and we are told we are unable to be catechised till our annulments are granted. It’s been suggested we speak with our priest about our frustrations and need to participate in the Lamb’s Supper and after putting in the request 2 weeks ago, he has still not set a date/time to meet with us AND he just left on a week’s vacation (not that he doesn’t deserve on…but mercy!) and we are faced with who knows how many more weeks of paper chasing instead of being in Communion with our Lord at His Table.

Does the Church care more about the dotting of “i’s” and the crossing of “t’s” than it does the real need we feel to take part in the Eucharist?

 

[system]

I had to learn the virtue of patience too, not that I have had as frustrating a time as you, but keep your eye on the eventuality of the Eucharist and keep praying for the strength to get through this tough process…you’ll come out stronger and closer to God for it. If it came without struggle, you probably wouldn’t see the immense value.

JELane

 

[darcee]

Annulements are serrious business.

I would hope that you would WANT all the is dotted and ts crossed. While it can br frustrated to have to do things over and over having them done right is worth the wait and frustration.

-D

 

[bengal_fan]

annulments shouldn’t be handed out on demand. the purpose of an annulment is if there was never a real marriage in the first place (i.e. one of you wasn’t mentally capable of making a decision, one of you never actually intended on keeping your vows, etc.). they are not the catholic version of divorce. your annulment might not ever be approved and then you can never marry within the church again and if you do never be able to receive communion. no, paperwork is not more important than saving souls, but maybe the paperwork’s delay is trying to save yours. i’m not trying to be mean here but it sounds like there are many who want annulments on demand and that is not biblical or healthy.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

Marriage is Sacred

The Church takes Marriage extremely seriously. Marriage is a Sacred Covenant that the Church does not have the power to dissolve.

The assumption is that anything that looks like a valid Sacramental Marriage is one, and it has to be proven that it wasn’t. That is what the paper-work is to accomplish in the annulment process which can state at the end that a valid Sacramental Marriage did not exist even though it looked like a Marriage.

Yes, it can be a long tedious process, so have patience and ask God to bless your loving patience with holiness.

Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church on Marriage. There is a lot of depth there.

Remember also that the clergy is human and is not perfect, so do not demand perfection from them. Forgive mistakes that happen. (Yes, help correct the process so it will flow better in the future.)

 

[Jdg164]

Fr. Vincent Serpa:

Dear the,

The hunger you are experiencing is itself one of the greatest of gifts! It is a very tangible sign of the Lord’s favor. His hand is on you! Because the annulment process can take as much as 24 months does not mean that it will. You might tell your priest of your great hunger—if you haven’t already. I don’t know what else you can do, except wait. Think of Mary and how she waited on the Lord all her life. Waiting is your current act of worship and love. The fact that it is difficult makes it all the more valuable a gift to give.
You and your wife are in our prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

I reaffirm what Fr. Vincent has said previously (above). Anything worth doing is worth waiting for and worth doing right. The church has these waiting periods for a reason. You can feel fortunate that you have a spouse to wait this period out with as many people who apply for annulments have just been divorced and must remain single for the waiting period. Do not worry, soon you will join the table of our Lord.

 

[Mandi]

thestickman:

Wife and are are both having a VERY difficult time starting the annulment process. It seems no matter what paperwork we fill out it’s either the wrong form or the copies of our marriage certficates or divorce papers aren’t true copies or the short form our parish priest told the Deacon to tell us to fill out actually isn’t correct.

Maybe you ought to start looking at the will of God. I do not know your circumstances, but I am no advocate of divorce, especially if children are involved. Marriage is for life, the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you want to be in communion with God than I suggest you start by being “in communion with God” and that means doing His will.

God wants you to be happy with Him in Heaven forever. Happiness on earth is not nessecarily part of the bargin.

 

[thestickman]

Jdg164:

I reaffirm what Fr. Vincent has said previously (above). Anything worth doing is worth waiting for and worth doing right. The church has these waiting periods for a reason. You can feel fortunate that you have a spouse to wait this period out with as many people who apply for annulments have just been divorced and must remain single for the waiting period. Do not worry, soon you will join the table of our Lord.

Thank you for your encouraging words.

We certainly recognize the seriousness of the issue. We also understand the rules aren’t going to be changed or bent just because it’s us. Nor would we want them to be. With that said, it would be sooooooooo much easier to deal with/accept if we weren’t constantly being given conflicting information. You have no idea what it’s like to be told, “We have everything we need”, only to be told a month later, “opps, that was the wrong form and you’re going to have to complete some bureaucratic backflips now and then we’ll have you wait 2 years anyway.”

We will endure. We are not going to turn our backs on the Truth even if it takes 5 years to learn the decision of the Tribunal. Nor will we if our requests are denied.

We just don’t understand how it is the left hand (our Deacon and parish priest) can be so out of touch with what the right hand (the Tribunal) requires and why.

Hopefully that makes sense