What's The Right Thing To Do

[lwest]

My husband and I have been staggering Masses because our daughter is high risk and the bishop has said that those who are high risk for covid should refrain from attending Mass. One day it was raining and a guy who usually walks to Mass asked for a ride so I gave him one. He seemed harmless. The next couple of weeks, he asked for rides. He said his lawn mower was broken. We gave him ours since we use a lawn service now. I felt weird giving a man a ride every week so my husband and I switched Masses and my husband started driving him home. This guy friended us on Facebook. We accepted. He called me a few times. I answered politely but didn’t engage in conversation. Then he left a voicemail in response to a facebook post, “Everyone has risque pictures on their phone…except you.” I didn’t return the call. Then he posted something about how we shouldn’t judge those who sin differently than us. I’m not comfortable with my husband giving him rides anymore. So my husband plans on going to a different Mass . My dilemma is, do we tell this guy that we will no longer be able to give him rides? I don’t want to be mean. I don’t want to be confrontational. And I really don’t know how to handle this. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

 

[heidi_storage]

Cut this dude off. Forget about being nice and nonconfrontational; block him on social media, have your husband tell him he cannot give rides, and block him from your phone. This guy is bad news.

 

[Irishmom2]

Any communication to him should come from your husband, not you. This guy is weird and to be avoided.

 

[ZemD]

Have your husband tell him you cannot drive him anymore and not to contact you or him again. Block him on social media. If he continues to call you, contact your local police department and discuss the situation. An officer may be willing to give him a call as a “warning” to leave you alone. I did this when an ex-boyfriend continued to contact me after I told him not to contact me again. One call from the police officer and I haven’t heard from him in over 10 years.

You need to be confrontational and make it known you do not want any further contact. You have a child to care for and don’t need to worry about unstable parishioners feelings over your families safety and well being.

 

[lwest]

Thank you! I really appreciate the support and the replies. I’ll share this all with my husband. Again, thank you all. God Bless.

 

[Peeps]

I agree about talking to the police. It’s possible that the man is a sex offender–hope not, but if he is, he might be in violation of his restrictions, and…he might be dangerous. Let the police know, please. If’ he’s harmless, they’ll know.

 

[lwest]

He’s not on the local registry. I did check that.

 

[Peeps]

He’s not on the local registry. I did check that.

Oh, good! I’ve probably been watching too many “Datelines”. I’ve given up that show for several months now as it’s pretty frightening!

 

[lwest]

There’s a local story that keeps coming to mind here from several years ago. A man and his wife ran a local theater. They had drama classes. One kid took their classes and the man drove him home on a few occasions. One night the kid stabbed him to death, took his car and drove to where his sister was working and bragged about the whole thing. Not saying this guy from church is of the same caliber, but it gives me pause. I do feel bad, but I get what everyone is saying here.

 

[Dr_Meinheimer]

You don’t need anecdotal stories from someone else’s life. As is, from what you do know, the guy sounds like a creepy pervert. That should be enough to remove him from your life immediately. If you cannot, have your husband do it.

 

[Legend]

You don’t need any proof that he’s dangerous. Your inner, God-given radar is making you uncomfortable. You went for a long time without giving him rides to church. He’s comfortable walking. If he, for some reason, is no longer able or willing to walk, I’m sure he can ask someone else for rides, use public transportation, or use Uber or a taxi service. You aren’t judging him. You’re protecting yourself and your family.

You’ve already been extremely generous in giving him your lawn mower. It’s more than most others would do. Concentrate on keeping yourself, your Child, and your husband happy and safe. Stop beating yourself up about anything this man says. He has most of the same resources you do, possibly more that you don’t know about. God Bless you and your family in these hard times!