When Around Toxic People You Can't Avoid

[glendab]

Hello Embear.

Yeah but I’m assuming each situation would be evaluated with prudence. I don’t think the woman in question is trying to kill OP. She used to be a friend and they had a falling out. If you are being abused or threatened bodily harm, by all means, remove yourself from danger. Otherwise we should bear the faults and wrongs of others with patience (as OP seems to have done thus far) and forgive them 7 times 70. God has to bear all the world’s evils and still offers us forgiveness, still loves us perfectly. Knowing this makes the thought of suffering another’s vices seem like such a small feat.

About that 7 times 70 - in that particular Gospel, the admonition is answer to the question IF MY BROTHER COMES TO ME…Being used and abused is no way for ANYONE to “prove” either to themselves or others they are Christian. We are called to love others* as we love ourselves* but if we allow ourselves to be used or abused by others, that whittles away our self-love and self-esteem until we begin to even wonder if God loves us.

God didn’t make anyone to be a doormat. Loving ourselves enough to end an abusive relationship IS being Christian. Not only does it preserve us from harm, but it also ends the enabling of bad behaviors in others in which we DO become accomplice to the sins of another.

I think the OP is right to end her relationship with the gal who is hurting her and seek to preserve the relationships in her circle of friends as best she can.

Glenda

 

[Kay_Cee]

I’ve found that this works for me:

Take the pain that woman is causing you and offer it up for the intention of her soul. Every time she hurts you, offer up the pain for her.

Remember, we do pray “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”