When Christians Attack

[AlwaysAsking]

Hello,

I am really enjoying this forum and I’m asking the following question out of love, hoping we can build each other up:

Following the thread asking ex-Catholics what finally drove them away, and all the bad experiences which were discussed there,

If you have found a positive way to heal from a bad experience with other Christians, can you share it?

For myself, I find myself struggling with wanting to pray for JUSTICE!!, except justice is the last thing I want for myself. Personally, I want mercy! But I hate being lied to, stolen from, attacked by other Christians. Forgiveness seems to take a long time. Recovering from being made to feel helpless, small and alone can take even longer. How about you?
…no bickering please…

 

[Love_is_Patient]

Hello,

I am really enjoying this forum and I’m asking the following question out of love, hoping we can build each other up:

Following the thread asking ex-Catholics what finally drove them away, and all the bad experiences which were discussed there,

If you have found a positive way to heal from a bad experience with other Christians, can you share it?

For myself, I find myself struggling with wanting to pray for JUSTICE!!, except justice is the last thing I want for myself. Personally, I want mercy! But I hate being lied to, stolen from, attacked by other Christians. Forgiveness seems to take a long time. Recovering from being made to feel helpless, small and alone can take even longer. How about you?
…no bickering please…

It’s tough. In a conversation with an evangelical last week, I was told to my face that I wasn’t a Christian. It made me angry and it hurt.

For me, I spent two hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament, pouring my heart out in prayer and telling God how upset I was. I’m at the point now where I’ve forgiven him–and I now see it as an opportunity to demonstrate the truth of Catholic teaching, if he’s still willing to continue the coversation.

My best advice is to offer it up to God. And pray for those who hurt you.

Love is Patient

 

[AlwaysAsking]

As an evangelical, can I personally apologize for your friend’s comment? I am so sorry.

The general anti-Catholic sentiment I’ve encountered has less to do with doctrine (we take our info about Catholics second- and third- hand) than from the a desire to feel superior.

I’m glad that praying over your conflict ultimately brought you comfort, though. It sounds like your ‘pouring out your heart’ was a little less self-centered than my prayers are at times like that.

 

[Love_is_Patient]

As an evangelical, can I personally apologize for your friend’s comment? I am so sorry.

The general anti-Catholic sentiment I’ve encountered has less to do with doctrine (we take our info about Catholics second- and third- hand) than from the a desire to feel superior.

I’m glad that praying over your conflict ultimately brought you comfort, though. It sounds like your ‘pouring out your heart’ was a little less self-centered than my prayers are at times like that.

Oh, thank you for the apology, although please realize I don’t hold evangelicals as a whole responsible. I know there are a lot of great evangelicals out there–I’ve met them and know that I, as a Catholic, can learn from them.

I’m no saint. Certainly my prayers were self-centered too. But I think God appreciates all prayer, and uses it to transform us so we can start out complaining, and end at peace and ready to do His will.

Take heart. And remember, that Jesus said his followers would be persecuted. While all Christians may experience this, sometimes it feels like Catholics get an extra helping…

Love is Patient

 

[dzheremi]

I was asked to leave my previous church, the only one I had ever known. “Excommunicated” doesn’t fit here as they weren’t Catholic, but whatever the Protestant version of that might be…

That was incredibly hurtful, because it was at a time when I needed them the most, because I needed GOD the most, and frankly my experience with them soured me on everything about religion. My mother, who had raised me in this religion (Presbyterianism) and believed in it and practiced it very diligently, was dying of cancer, and they had the nerve to call her in to discuss these “problems” they were having with her son (me). Problems like you would have with any 13-14 year old child, which is what I was at the time. I never disbelieved in God or anything like that, but it wasn’t enough I guess, if I would ask them uncomfortable questions that they thought made me a bad influence on others. It was even so bad that they wanted to bar me from serving on a missionary trip to Mexico when I was the ONLY native Spanish speaker in the group! (or near-native…it is my second language, but I did grow up with it alongside English)

Their “youth minister” even called me the “Poster boy for abortion” - in the youth group. Which was on church grounds, presumably overseen by the church leadership. Right after my mother had died! Can you believe it? I couldn’t. So after absorbing so much abuse while continuing to come back because I knew that’s what my mother would have wanted, I figured I could stop going since she was no longer alive, and since they had told me I wasn’t welcome, anyway. They don’t want me? Fine, then I didn’t want them. It was clearly more about who fit in socially than who loved God and wanted to follow Him better, anyway.

I stayed away from all organized religion for almost a decade after that (I was confirmed two years ago, at the age of 24). What brought me back and healed me? It would be simplistic, perhaps, to say the Catholic Church, as though I instantly knew the truth of it with no trepidation, but that’s where I am now, thanks be to GOD.

I know not all Protestants are like the ones I was stripped of dignity by, either in that denomination or individually. Some of my best and oldest friends also attended that church and are still a part of that denomination. It took me so long to come to the Church, I think (to come back to any religion at all!) because I was very much afraid that I would ask the “wrong” sort of question and again be told I didn’t belong in the Church. To be honest, I still feel a lot of the time that I don’t fit in, but that has more to do with my personal understanding of what the Church believes, and its history. It’s a matter of a huuuuge learning curve, not anyone in the Church telling me I shouldn’t be here!

The Catholic Church may be much maligned among its defectors for its perceived “intolerance”, but coming from that distasteful experience with what had been my “mother church”, the RCC seems like the most open, tolerant, patient, and loving Church in the world!

 

[AlwaysAsking]

dzheremi,

Your story took the air out of my lungs, I still can’t believe adults could feel so threatened by a hurting, confused kid. I’m so sorry.

It was brave of you to trust God enough to try church again, and I’m thankful you finally found a loving church home. Sounds like their faith is strong enough for questions. God be with you always!

 

[Peregrino]

Hello,

I am really enjoying this forum and I’m asking the following question out of love, hoping we can build each other up:

Following the thread asking ex-Catholics what finally drove them away, and all the bad experiences which were discussed there,

If you have found a positive way to heal from a bad experience with other Christians, can you share it?

For myself, I find myself struggling with wanting to pray for JUSTICE!!, except justice is the last thing I want for myself. Personally, I want mercy! But I hate being lied to, stolen from, attacked by other Christians. Forgiveness seems to take a long time. Recovering from being made to feel helpless, small and alone can take even longer. How about you?
…no bickering please…

First, I just had to post on such a cool thread title “When Christians Attack”

Second, your post is a very serious one. I am at the point of trying to avoid labeling our individual positions; I really think that if we stopped assessing each other on the basis of being “catholic”, “protestant”, “republican”, “democrat” or even “christian” we would be better off. Perhaps if each of us would just assess OURSELVES on how “christ-like” we are, acknowledge our shortcomings, dust ourselves off and try again then the world would be a better place. FYI, I am not saying that you are labeling anyone.

In fact, it seems that you have identified exactly what Jesus wants us to identify; those times when we feel helpless, small and alone and to recognize that we are blessed in those moments of hurt and vulnerability. Perhaps justice is found in mercy for our neighbors. The pain of exclusion and division that you have so clearly articulated seems to be part of the human condition. I don’t have any other suggestions other than prayer. Sorry.

 

[RobHom]

… I have several ways of answering this question…and at best I can tell you that my responses are totally “situational”… and those responses can vary from responding in a friendly and educational manner to maybe not being so friendly…though I tend to avoid those kinds of confrontations. I truthfully feel that people who find it necessary to be antagonistic and aggressively hostile about another persons religion or beliefs…suffer from personality issues.

 

[AlwaysAsking]

Peregrino, you wrote:

Perhaps if each of us would just assess OURSELVES on how “christ-like” we are, acknowledge our shortcomings, dust ourselves off and try again then the world would be a better place.

…You mean like “First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye”?

…so Jesus doesn’t call me a hypocrite!

…which I don’t usually get around to praying about for a long time.
I should pray for the log/ plank/ beam to be removed from my own eye morning, noon and night.