When is a Catholic woman no longer married?

[EasterJoy]

…I started to date a woman years ago but it recently ended when she was cheating on me. She was divorced, and yes, we had pre-marital sex. I’m quite certain we had sex before she knew the outcome of the annulment…

I missed the “years ago” part. Was she running on the “I’ll look into an annulment if I ever want to re-marry” theory? I would suggest that you not date anyone in that situation again, and I don’t just mean that you don’t have sex. I mean that you can’t know if a decree of nullity will actually be granted in a particular case, and it would be very difficult to have yourself all emotionally set to marry someone only to find she is not in fact free to marry. It is better for you to do as the Church does, and let marriage enjoy the benefit of the doubt, even if it seems very obvious to you that the parties couldn’t figure out how to live in conjugal peace with each other.

I gather that when you mean “cheat”, you mean with a third man besides you and her ex. I’m sorry to hear that. You shouldn’t date someone who isn’t free to marry, but you didn’t know and even if you did know, that wouldn’t make it easier. At least the infidelity didn’t wait until you had married her yourself; that is a very difficult thing for a married couple to go through.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

When is a Catholic woman no longer married?

Marriage in the Church is not treated as marriage in the secular legal system. In the secular legal system, you can be married, then at a later date divorce, at which you are no longer married. In the Church, you either are or not married. The marriage is presumed valid until the Tribunal determines otherwise. If the annulment is granted, it means the woman was never married.

Did I sleep with a married woman?

Since the woman is presumed married at the time you had relations, yes.

Regardless of whether the woman was married or not, you have sinned. If it wasn’t adultery, than it was fornication.

 

[Convert_in_99]

When is a Catholic woman no longer married?

Is it when they’re divorced or at a certain stage in the annulment process, such as when the annulment completion has been notified to the applicant?

I started to date a woman years ago but it recently ended when she was cheating on me. She was divorced, and yes, we had pre-marital sex. I’m quite certain we had sex before she knew the outcome of the annulment.

Did I sleep with a married woman?

I’m going to confession when our new pastor arrives later in June.

In short, when her spouse is dead, then she is no longer married.

Yes, you did sleep with a married woman. And, no, even if the annulment is later granted, at the time of said premarital sexual sin you did not know if the annulment would later be granted, therefore you knew there was a possibility she could still be married in the church’s eyes so you in deed committed the sin of adultery.

Go to confession immediately. Don’t wait until a new pastor arrives. He can’t say or do anything because he is bound by the sacramental seal of confession to secrecy.

 

[Cojuanco]

At this point, does it matter? Whether or not this woman was married, the fact is she wasn’t married to YOU. That is either way a grave sin. If you can get the disposition to go to confession (you show contrition or at the very least attrition), GO! You don’t even have to confess at your parish - why, just yesterday I confessed my sins in a church in a different county than my parish. Jesus acts through any priest with faculties when sins are forgiven.

 

[chevalier]

You had sex with a woman you’re not married to and who you knew wasn’t even free to marry you. Just confess that. She could have been free to marry you, after all, and what you did would still have been gravely sinful. You don’t have to split hairs about it.

Strictly speaking, though, marriage enjoys the presumption of validity. Once a couple attempts marriage in a way that might be valid, you are bound to presume the bond is still remaining until there has been a final decree that the marriage is null.

I’m not 100% sure on this, but it would be a good idea to describe the situation to the priest rather than presuming fornication, rather than adultery, to be the proper kind if it should later come out the marriage had been invalid.

 

[EasterJoy]

I’m not 100% sure on this, but it would be a good idea to describe the situation to the priest rather than presuming fornication, rather than adultery, to be the proper kind if it should later come out the marriage had been invalid.

Where did I use the words “fornication” or “adultery” in my response?

At any rate, let’s hope the OP does not wait until the tribunal is finished before going to confession. If the priest thinks it important to know what “not free to marry” means, he can ask. It is entirely possible that he won’t, however. The confessional, after all, is more like an operating theater than a human court.

 

[The_Bucket]

I’m not 100% sure on this, but it would be a good idea to describe the situation to the priest rather than presuming fornication, rather than adultery, to be the proper kind if it should later come out the marriage had been invalid.

EasterJoy is correct, what does it matter if it was adultery or fornication? Both are gravely sinful. Why not just say “I had sexual relations with a woman to whom I am not married” and leave it at that? Let her confess her own sin as she knows it and let him confess his.

I’ll also chime in on the…

JugglingReferee:

I’ll take my chances.

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut.

That makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. To me, you could translate it as such: “God, I know I did something terrible, but I’m probably not going to die in the next couple of weeks so I’ll hold off on getting back into relationship with you. YOLO, you know? LOLZ! See you soon. Maybe.”