When is a confidence established between two people?

[Hermione]

Hello everyone,

I know that telling people things they tell me in confidence is a mortal sin… but when do I know there is a confidence between me and another person? If me and another person are simply talking privately and I am told personal information, is this a confidence?

I am engaged and I like to tell my fiance everything that other people tell me. Do I need to inform them of this before they tell me the information, or is it okay to just go ahead and tell my fiance because there’s no explicit confidence established?

Thanks!
%between%

 

[jimmy]

Hermione:

Hello everyone,

I know that telling people things they tell me in confidence is a mortal sin… but when do I know there is a confidence between me and another person? If me and another person are simply talking privately and I am told personal information, is this a confidence?

I am engaged and I like to tell my fiance everything that other people tell me. Do I need to inform them of this before they tell me the information, or is it okay to just go ahead and tell my fiance because there’s no explicit confidence established?

Thanks!

I would say that if they are telling you private information you should honor them by keeping it secret.

 

[RichSpidizzy]

I wasn’t aware that telling someone something told to you in confidence is a mortal sin. I thought that just applied to the seal of confession between a person and their confessor.

Either way, out of respect for the other person, I usually keep things told to me between me and the person that told it to me. Even if they are sharing good news, I don’t mention it to others. Perhaps the person wants to share their good news themselves and if I said something I would be “stealing their thunder”

 

[Didi]

I think it depends on a couple of things. One, the nature of what is being talked about. Two, the purpose of your sharing it with others.

If it is something obviously very private and especially if they ask you not to tell anyone else, you need to respect their wishes.

If you’re not sure if it’s private, you need to ask by saying something like: “Is it alright if I share this problem with someone else and get their advice and prayers for you?”

If you’re sharing the information just to share the dirt on your friends with your fiance, that’s not good. If you’re genuinely concerned about a friend’s problem and want to ask for his prayers and advice, that might be different, but not if the friend asks you to keep it confidential.

It’s important that you and your fiance continue to have your own friendships, and that means you don’t share everything with him about other people.