When is cohabitation sinful?

[callmeChris]

Let’s say a boyfriend and girlfriend move in together and they have no intentions to have sexual relationships of any kind out side of kissing and cuddling. And also include that they are both very strong willed and faithful, and their relationship is modest. Is it still sinful for them to still live together? What if both of them want to get out of their homes and start living independent and help each other out?

 

[AnneElizabeth]

Cohabitation is always wrong. It causes scandal. I know that sounds corny this day and age, but it is a teaching of the church. We are to avoid giving scandal. YOU and the partner might know what is going on, but others do not. Young children watch and see- and this can lead to them thinking its ok, but without the part about you not having relations while doing it. Thus, it leads others into sin by poor example.

Scandal…Happens more than you think.

 

[PennyinCanada]

We are called to be a light to the world. This is a wonderful opportunity to do that!! Make choices that say God is real in my life. The world really needs to see this message modeled in us. Certainly honorable dating, courtship and engagement is where we need to stand up for Christ and be his light. Walk in his grace!

 

[phil19034]

Let’s say a boyfriend and girlfriend move in together and they have no intentions to have sexual relationships of any kind out side of kissing and cuddling. And also include that they are both very strong willed and faithful, and their relationship is modest. Is it still sinful for them to still live together? What if both of them want to get out of their homes and start living independent and help each other out?

My wife and I cohabitated when we were younger. I regret it. I was very scandalous for my younger siblings and was damaging to them, my parents and in-laws.

I do not want my children to ever find out about it.

Let’s say that a couple cohabitates but lives as brother & sister.

1. in today’s world, no one will believe that the couple isn’t having sexual relations
2. even with separate rooms, people will believe that the separate rooms are for appearances only
3. if the kids ever find out (esp when older) that mom & dad cohabitated, they will most likely not believe they were chaste.
4. if the kids want to cohabitate and know their parents did, it makes it harder (if not impossible) to convince them that it’s a bad thing. aka “How can it be bad, you and mom have a great marriage?!?!”

It’s scandalous because it just sets a bad example and sends a message regarding your sex life (even if that message is false).

I hope this makes sense.

 

[Caroline723]

It’s about more than just sex and scandal. Living together is reserved for marriage because in the daily routine of seeing this other person each morning and night, cooking together, cleaning together, seeing each other in pajamas and no makeup, connotes an intimacy that you should not have before permanent vows. You don’t have that right with each other in dating. It’s not just premarital sex that wounds the heart when the relationship ends.

Cohabitation often makes sense fiscally and practically. But it’s still just a bad thing to do.

 

[Cricket2]

This is not a good idea. Even IF they remain chaste people will suspect otherwise which then leads to this being a source of scandal.

There is just too much temptation involved as well. Better to live apart on their own. If they are that serious about their relationship it is time for an engagement and marriage prep.

 

[pianistclare]

My wife and I cohabitated when we were younger. I regret it. I was very scandalous for my younger siblings and was damaging to them, my parents and in-laws.

I do not want my children to ever find out about it.

Let’s say that a couple cohabitates but lives as brother & sister.

1. in today’s world, no one will believe that the couple isn’t having sexual relations
2. even with separate rooms, people will believe that the separate rooms are for appearances only
3. if the kids ever find out (esp when older) that mom & dad cohabitated, they will most likely not believe they were chaste.
4. if the kids want to cohabitate and know their parents did, it makes it harder (if not impossible) to convince them that it’s a bad thing. aka “How can it be bad, you and mom have a great marriage?!?!”

It’s scandalous because it just sets a bad example and sends a message regarding your sex life (even if that message is false).

I hope this makes sense.

This ^^^.
Very well stated.
Peace.

 

[InNomineDomini]

Let’s say a boyfriend and girlfriend move in together and they have no intentions to have sexual relationships of any kind out side of kissing and cuddling. And also include that they are both very strong willed and faithful, and their relationship is modest. Is it still sinful for them to still live together?

Sin would exist insofar as the couple are putting themselves in danger of falling into serious temptation, and insofar as their arrangement would cause scandal.

Chastity is not simply a matter of being strong-willed and not having an intention to fall, but it is a matter of grace. Any young person who takes seriously their need to cooperate with grace, should take seriously the teaching of the Church, who has been established by Christ as our guide.

We shouldn’t flatter ourselves (or succumb to pride) by thinking we are beyond sexual temptation, because our souls will be in grave danger if we are so careless.

Having said that, many cohabitating couples may not have been Catholic (or any other type of Christian) when they started living together. Should they convert, and truly repent and live as brother and sister, and should they not run a risk of causing scandal, then they may certainly pursue marriage (if free to do so) despite the fact that they still live together.

Let’s not forget that the sins of cohabitation are fornication, the near occasion of sexual sins, and scandal. If all of these are avoided, and if a couple are in the process of getting married, then they will not be sinning if they continue to live together, at least not because they live under the same roof.

But a young couple who do not live together, and who are attempting to take their faith seriously, should under all circumstances be convinced to live apart until marriage.