When is it okay and not okay to judge?

[shyguy3498]

Okay so this is something I have really been struggling with and that is when is it okay and not okay to judge? Obviously there are certain cases where we should not judge someone, like for example it would probably be bad to say someone is going to Hell since we have no right to judge someones spiritual life. However what if we know someone is leading a bad life and committing a lot of mortal sins, do I tell them “Hey, look you really probably should do that.” or do I just sit by and watch them destroy their soul. Sitting back doesn’t really sound like something Christ would want me to do, but at the same time I don’t want to come off as judgmental because I don’t think he would want me to judge either. Help!

 

[Micosil]

These are tough situations, it’s not easy watching a loved one waste away.

Personally, I’d try to offer guidance, and back off as soon as the person wished me to keep my distance, and I would pray as much as I could to help remedy the situation. Sometimes there isn’t that much we can do ourselves, but with God’s help, anything is possible.

I hope that helped.

 

[pamnbam]

We don’t judge the person, we judge the action. We all should have informed consciences, and this helps us determine morally good actions and morally harmful actions. Agree with the poster above that there is only so much you can do or say to someone regarding their actions without seeming too overbearing. If you’re asked your opinion on some action, or what you would do if you were in someone else’s place, you can give the morally “correct” answer. Other than that, and especially if the person already knows your stance on an issue, stay out of it and pray for them.

 

[Nelka]

We don’t judge the person, we judge the action.

 

[Tomdstone]

We don’t judge the person, we judge the action.

Some people are sent away for life imprisonment for killing someone, whereas others get much less punishment for the same action of killing someone. The action may be the same in both cases.

 

[Domiy]

I believe you can judge anytime, as long as you do it right!

Yes, there is rightful judgement. People, especially non-Christians, are quick to point out Jesus’ famous “judge not lest ye be judged” passage. This is more of a call to humility. And that’s what judgement has to contain; humility. As long as you don’t judge to talk yourself up, or merely for the purpose of putting the other person to shame, but rather to guide and enlighten them, then I’d say you’re OK. The Apostles tell us the same thing; to bring the word and law to others if we so possess it ourselves.

 

[Kmon23]

I think St. John Chrysostom has a very good homily/exegesis on what it means to judge. This link sums it up nicely.

fatherjohn.blogspot.com/2012/11/to-judge-or-not-to-judge.html

 

[mh2007]

Our actual sphere of influence tends to be limited beyond our immediate families. And sometimes teachers have influence on their students, although usually that is only for a limited time, and in certain ways.

That said, we all have opinions, notions, and ideas about how things should be. And how people should behave. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But we should try to be diplomatic in our dealings with others.

 

[InNomineDomini]

What we may not do is judge the state of a person’s soul, whether they are in a state of grace or not.

However, anyone who is objectively committing mortal sin can be warned to repent.

How to accomplish this is another matter of judgment, and it requires prayer, help from the Holy Spirit, and even advice from a trusted friend or family member or priest.

When our culture talks about judging, what it really means is that it doesn’t want anyone referencing objective morality. This is because our culture is morally relativistic, and is highly skeptical of God’s laws and whether they lead to truly being happy. In our culture, “don’t judge me and don’t be a hater” is just a way to shut down conversation.

But we know otherwise: people can ignore objective morality, but ultimately, it will be to their own demise. Thus we are obligated, with those over whom we have some responsibility, to inform them, as best as we can, of the truths of our faith and of the dangers they expose themselves to when they actively shut God out of their lives.