When praying becomes a torment

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brown_bear

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When ease and joy in prayer disappear, and we experience dryness, we often get alarmed.

In addition, it can insinuate the doubt that we are no longer pleasing to God, even if personal conscience and spiritual direction do not signal problems.

How to convince yourself that everything is actually going fine?
 
I think the advice from spiritual writers is just do it. Don’t change your prayer routine. You may not feel anything or you may feel terrible, but feelings don’t matter–the will does. So keep praying–just do it. Try not to argue with yourself but focus on God.
 
brown_bear said:
How to convince yourself that everything is actually going fine?
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I always heard spiritual elders say that praying while “experiencing dryness” is better than the ease and joy phase, because in dryness you have to work a little harder and grow more. One abbot said that many novices experience joy when they first come to the monastery but leave when it dries up, but that is wrong because the dryness is often more helpful than joy.
 
brown_bear said:
When ease and joy in prayer disappear, and we experience dryness, we often get alarmed.

In addition, it can insinuate the doubt that we are no longer pleasing to God, even if personal conscience and spiritual direction do not signal problems.

How to convince yourself that everything is actually going fine?
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When attachments to power, control, reputation, and material things are lost then there is a challenge to personal security. Humble submission to the Holy Trinity when this occurs will strengthen the bond, and be a help in remaining free from mortal sin - which is the assurance that one is cooperating with the Holy Spirit.
 
Actually, this is true. That’s why the advice is to persevere in prayer. When God strips us of feelings our will and the theological virtues are purified and strengthened.
 
Prayer should not be a ball and chain. You talk to God.

Formal prayer is not for everyone. You grow. You change. You love God so you speak to him.

You meditate on rosary or creation. You know hes with you, you feel it. If not you talk anyway.

Anything can be a prayer. Washing dishes. Watching young ones. Offer it to God. It’s a prayer and blesses your family.
 
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I no longer get consolations for formal prayer. So that prompted me to just talk to Jesus. I cannot give up my rosary though.

It’s not about me though. It’s about Him. Persevere.
 
‘When consolation is taken away, do not at once despair but wait humbly and patiently for the
heavenly visit, since God can restore to you more abundant solace.’ - The Imitation of Christ
 
Hello brown_bear! 🙃

What a nice username! 😆

Yeah, I also felt that sticky feeling where praying becomes a reason to sin. Faith is like Gordon Ramsey’s tender beef that evaporates, it makes you feel dehydrated, leaving you dried. Sometimes, you’ll better think to say bad words to God because of that feeling. There’s nothing funny about that feeling cause it was hard to be a Catholic, while at the same time you feel that praying makes you sin to God. You can’t convenience yourself that it’s fine even not, since it’s sin against God. You can pray for yourself, however, it’s really hard! Better to say that you need some PRAYERS! Maybe you can set yourself into something that will make you happy without hurting God. When Ii was Grade 8, I tried to ask God for a break since it really hurts, so God gave me rest. Shhh! It’s really tiring. 😜 Ok, talking seriously, I’ll pray for you… If ever you recovered with that feeling, please pray for me! 😇 ❤️ ❤️

Sorry for informality! Keep safe!
 
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Giving your time to God will please Him. Praying even though you’re feeling dryness and not getting much out of it is as important (if not more important) than when it all feels amazing and wonderful and warm. Praying not just because of receiving that “gift”, but to be the “giver” is more important. It is harder to do, but more selfless, and more pleasing to God.
 
I agree.

All merit lies in the will, even if your intellect and emotions aren’t really invested in praying, go ahead and pray.

As for not being pleasing to God, trust in his Grace and mercy. Even if you may not always be spiritually perfect, he still loves you.

Always remember that.
 
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This was me a while back. Saying my prayers was agony. And while what everyone else has said about perseverance is absolutely true, it’s possible that some of the problem might be your own. For me it was because I really wanted my prayers to be answered, and I subconsciously fell into superstition by convincing myself that if I said the prayers perfectly they’d have a better chance of being granted. Once I realized what I was doing and realigned my intentions to following Gods will (whether that be a yes or no) and stopped making prayer into a magic spell, prayer ceased being painful.
 
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Unnamed_Everyman said:
Forum folks,

what did Jesus say?

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen [and praised] by them, for then you will have no [spiritual] reward from your Father who is in Heaven.” (Matthew 6:1)

Did He lie? Or was He perhaps an ignorant
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I’m not quite sure what your point is? What does that have to do with the topic?
 
Also to add. I just read a quote from St John Vianney: “Without the Holy Spirit all is cold; therefore when we feel we are losing our fervour, we must instantly make a novena to the Holy Spirit to ask for faith and love…”.

Why don’t you try that? Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.
 
Unnamed_Everyman said:
(* A person could be alone when they try to pray but still can’t pray, because they have the intention to display their ‘virtue’ in the future; or perhaps they have been and are implicitly boasting about their religiosity/spirituality (e.g.: by posting quotes from the writings of saints) on a ‘socializing’ site, where they’re not anonymous
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That’s quite an assumption. I’m sure that can be true, but it also could be true that a person is struggling with prayer for other reasons that aren’t sinfully motivated. They could sincerely be in a period of spiritual dryness and need some encouragement to carry on.

Also, posting quotes from saints to aid a struggling Christian is not boasting about spirituality. It’s mean to edify them.
 
Brown Bear,

The Doctors of the Church on Prayer all make the point that when we feel “dry” during prayer times we are to pray anyway. That is when we most show our faith in God. If we relied on feelings only, we would start to neglect prayer.

So, be at peace and pray anyway, that is when the Lord is truly working in us! He will reassure you when He knows best when to do that.
 
This may also signal the entrance into the Illuminative Way (Dark Night of the Senses). If you’re sinning less, falling into imperfection less, and fear you’re not doing enough to serve God, this might be the case. It can help to talk to a spiritual director.
 
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Perhaps our Lord just wants time with you and conversation from your heart.

Recognize nature and be thankful to Him. Sometimes this can be a growth for you. Keep God Jesus and Mary in your life. It’s important to evolve. Read and look at beauty He made for you.
Work and offer it up. This too is prayer. + it can be a dark night but keep going on the path
 
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Thank you, you have encouraged me a lot.

It was beyond question that I continued to pray, but you gave me a strong push to do so with greater serenity and determination.

❤️
 
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