When priests discourage vocations

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Hi everyone,

I’ve been seeking a vocation to the priesthood for several years now and have come across several priests who would discourage me from seeking. One of them is an older priest and had a very difficult time due to the poor area he is in and a lot of restrictions from the communist government he is under. I know him when I was little and still help him out a little bit. He doesn’t want me to have to suffer like him… as his intention is sincere.

Another priest, a young one around my age (we’re in our mid 30s) is very unhappy with his life as a priest. Like the older priest who wants to discourage me because of the problems I will encounter, the younger one has a lot of problems with the Church. Here are his words to my friend: “I think my life stinks because I cannot do everything I want. The Church does not seem to support my dreams and all the things I want to do and foster young talents. On the contrary, businesses out there love new ideas and create new opportunities for young talents. In the Church, most people at the top are old folks and they don’t know how to make things better or welcome young talents. That’s my frustration. I would rather run my own businesses and be the boss of a company than working for the Church.”

My friend runs away from the church because I think all she hears about the church are negative feelings from this priest. She is not Catholic and I don’t think she would be a Catholic anytime soon because of these impressions. This priest makes me very sad because I don’t think he’s the only one. Instead of encouraging vocations, I think he doesn’t want anyone to be in it. I wonder after reading that paragraph why he would want to be a priest or still continue to be a priest. He is not helping the church any, but instead, repels the sheeps that are sent to him.

My friend told me at the time this young priest entered the priesthood, he is full of love for the church and wanting to serve God’s people. But he is embittered because he feel that he is stuck. So instead of encouring me, I think I need to help encourage this priest and put the zeal he once had back.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,
Ben
 
The priesthood, like every vocation, attracts both the good and the bad. I noticed when describing the younger priest you indicated he used the words “I” and “mine” quit often. The priesthood means giving up out own desires and putting God, the Church and the parish ahead of ourselves. Sadly, these men often wind up leaving the priesthood. But, not before causing great damage to the Church.

Nobody makes a young person go to seminary or enter the religious life. In fact, I had to sign a legal document stating that I knew and understood that seminary was voluntary and that I could leave at any time.

Seek out a good and holy priest. One who will be open and honest with you about the priesthood. Be careful in trying to “fix” the bad priests you know. Often, there is not much you can do and it may negatively influence you in your faith.

In talking with religious communities and my archdiocese, there is a great effort to avoid recruiting guys who are negative or prone to depression. As one Capuchin explained to me, “We have no need for the grumpy old religious. Catholics are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song.”
 
HMM. Our priests frequently say how much they love being priests.👍 The younger one might be running into the common feeling that if they had taken another route, things would be better. Life is messy, inconvenient, and frustrating no matter what. The joy comes in serving our Lord no matter what. He didn’t exactly have an earthly life full of approval and upward mobility,either. Maybe the younger one woud be heartened if he heard of some good he has been responsible for. 🤷
 
Guarantee you…if that young priest were married he would be miserable in his marriage right now. I and mine are not compatible with either vocation–marriage or holy orders.
 
I agree with what everyone is saying, but I will point out one area where I think the young priest may have a.point. I have experienced the same problem, at least here in Los Angeles, where the parish will depend on its older parishioners and ignore the needs of younger parishioners, in some cases regarding them suspiciously if they want to be active. I know myself and others in my youth group who were literally turned away from volunteering for the Church because “there is enough older people to do that.” Now of course 10 years later the parish priests are concerned because the older parishioners are dwindling and they have few active under 45. I can only but shake my head because many simply lost interest and stopped being active in college. Now, I am not saying this is an epidemic, but I have heard more than one case of young people losing interest because the parish simply does not view them as important, or views them patonizingly. I was just grateful that only 1 parish group, the Legion of Mary, welcomed me warmly. I hope this is not as common as it used to be.
 
"And he said to all, “If any man would come after me, **let him deny himself **and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Lk 9:23)

So you run a company, you are in charge and you make millions of dollars and give them all to charity?

**i would trade my entire life, everything, for one day as a Priest, one Holy Mass offered is infinitely greater than any worldly success or monetary gain!!!
**
**What would you rather say to Jesus at your death? **

“i made millions of dollars and gave it all to charity?”,

or **“i gave up my selfish desires and was able to offer one Holy Mass as You had told us to do???”’ **

Sounds like a no-brainer to me!!!

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark
 
Lots of people question the choices they made in life not just clergy…If this priest would have married he might be in the process of a divorce…Christ tells us all to take up our cross and follow Him

He never guarenteed us a life of happiness, health , wealth, or one that was problem free…Things can change for the better, or for the worse, for any of us, at anytime
 
Ben,
My advice to you is to follow your heart. Do not be dissuaded by another man’s grumbles. His life and his situation are not yours. If you feel you are being called to the priesthood, follow up. The world needs heros and there is nothing more heroic than giving up your life to lead others to Jesus. Realize also that every man is happy when they do what God made them to do. And by the way, this is borne out in job satisfaction surveys, where the Catholic clergy always rank at or near the top.
 
If I were you, I would talk to some other people in religious life…It sounds like these people need some emotional help… I am not in a vocation…but life is full of ups and downs no matter if you’re in religious life or married or single…It’s all in how one copes with life’s problems that makes the difference of being satisfied or dissatisfied with life. Important thing is to keep Jesus in your life every day.
 
EnchantedEve said:
I agree with what everyone is saying, but I will point out one area where I think the young priest may have a.point. I have experienced the same problem, at least here in Los Angeles, where the parish will depend on its older parishioners and ignore the needs of younger parishioners, in some cases regarding them suspiciously if they want to be active. I know myself and others in my youth group who were literally turned away from volunteering for the Church because “there is enough older people to do that.” Now of course 10 years later the parish priests are concerned because the older parishioners are dwindling and they have few active under 45. I can only but shake my head because many simply lost interest and stopped being active in college. Now, I am not saying this is an epidemic, but I have heard more than one case of young people losing interest because the parish simply does not view them as important, or views them patonizingly. I was just grateful that only 1 parish group, the Legion of Mary, welcomed me warmly. I hope this is not as common as it used to be.
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I am sorry that you had that experience. I have lived in the Los Angeles Diocese for the better part of 35 years [as a Catholic} and have never had the experience you describe. I have friends who are involved in all kinds of ministries, youth, young adult, cursillo, charasmatic renewal, vocations work, holy hour adoration, right to life in approx 20 parishes here in the greater Los Angeles area. I would encourage you to seek a parish where you feel comfortable and get involved there. We have many parishes eager to incorporate the youth or not so young… I hope you find a place.
Blessings of Peace and All Good!*
 
Sometimes a priest will seem to discourage a vocation in order to test that man’s resolve. It doesn’t sounds like this is the case with the 2 priests you’ve spoken to. The older man may simply be concerned for your welfare. The younger man does seem bitter which is not a good sign in a priest (or anyone). Please seek out other opinions, talk to the vocations director for your area who should certainly be in the business of encouraging young men to consider the priesthood. Make a special effort to pray for your two priest friends, but I wouldn’t go to them with any other vocation questions.
 
Well, my brother, Jesus , the Priest did not mince his words when he says that I am the Vine and you are the branches. Our unique goal is to be Holy as our God is Holy, all vocations is an instrument to arrive in producing fruits but we are all branches abiding to the Vine. Those poor ordained priest in your story have fallen in the temptation of wanting to be the Vine and not the Branches." We will pray for them but you can be a missionary and experience the beauty of a life laid down for the others…Tofa:p
 
Thank you for your suggestions/answers. Both priests do not deter me at all from seeking my vocation. I feel sad that the younger priest is so bitter in life. I know a therapist who said he has a lot of priests as clients so I guessed that young priest is not the only one.

Right now, I’m searching for an orthodox order to join; and will visit a few monasteries in July for vocation retreats. I wonder on average, how long will you have to wait before they accept your application? I’ve been discerning for over 6 years now, so I think God is has been waiting long enough.

God bless!
Ben
 
Dear Ble, Well it is good to hear that you are still strong in pursuing your goal. I will together with all our friends will support you in the spiritual way. Jus a word from ST Thomas More…" I rather be a good father then be a bad Priest" our Vocation is to be Holy as our God and Lord is Holy. So God bless you Ben. May our Mother, The Blessed Virgin Mary accompanys you. If there were monastic life down in Oceania, I would have invited you to come but there is only the monastry of the Carmelite Nuns downunder. May the Almighty shines His face on you brah
Cheerio:tiphat::tiphat::clapping:
 
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