When you aren't sure if you committed a sin

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If you aren’t sure if you committed a mortal sin should you avoid receiving at mass? For example: I sometimes have trouble distinguishing between umpire thoughts and the temptations thereupon. I normally wouldn’t ask but I really want to recieve tonight and I know I have scrupulous tendancies.
 
The key here is whether you chose to enjoy the sin of thinking of the thoughts or not, and whether you cast them away quickly after receiving them. If you lingered on them with full knowledge and consent of the will, then it is a sin, but if not, you are free to receive.
 
The advice I’ve most frequently seen here is that you are only obligated to abstain from the Eucharist if you know you are in the state of mortal sin.

And, if you are scrupulous, that is all the more true - I don’t know how scrupulous you are (you said “scrupulous tendencies”), and if you don’t have one already, you should probably have a single, regular confession/spiritual director to guide you with your scruples. If, however, you are quite scrupulous, I would say don’t abstain from the Eucharist because of uncertainties on this particular issue.
 
A doubting conscience is worse than a conscience in error.

To clear the vision of your conscience, you need humility. You need humiity in two ways.

First, you need the humility to accept the fallibility of your conscience. Its important to form our consciences, but its also important to trust and follow our consciences. This means that if our conscience is in error, we are still required to follow it. We have the responsibility to educate our consciences to help us make better decisions in the future, but we need the humility to accept our current ignorances, misunderstandings, etc.

The second way you need humility, is the humility to look at yourself honestly. Scruplocity can also has an element of pride toward the scruplocity. “I’m not like a dissenter. I’m hard on myself for all these little things. In fact, I’m such a holy person that I’m sort of saint-like in that I’m petrified of committing the smallest sin.” False humility may come into play as well. We may tell ourselves we’re not prideful because our internal dialogue toward ourselves involves name-calling and the like.

As such, while the sexual sin may be there, our pride may be so strong that even when we go to confession, we only see the sexual sin. It bothers us only because we want vainglory – rather than a sincere love of God. If that is the case, than you need to spend a greater effort battling against your pride than your sexual sins. In this case, the pride is keeping you from God by robbing you of the ability to a sincere repentance of any of your sins. Instead you confess “just in case.” You confess benign things…as if repentence were a matter of belittling yourself and naming the sin.

As such, should you receive the Eucharist? I’m going to probably tell you the hardest thing. YOU need to make the judgment for yourself. You will probably still have fears of being wrong if you decide to go up, but simply pray to God in the line “Lord I want to please you. This is my judgment. Please help me to grow in humility so that I can accept the fallibility of my conscience.”
 
The key here is whether you chose to enjoy the sin of thinking of the thoughts or not, and whether you cast them away quickly after receiving them. If you lingered on them with full knowledge and consent of the will, then it is a sin, but if not, you are free to receive.
“The resolution to perform an action is not the same as the pleasure or satisfaction experienced in the emotions, nor the same as a compulsive idea, “I like the sin.” One sign of partial knowledge or not full consent would be the fact that a person does not complete an action when this can easily be done, or is so minded that the person would rather die than commit a grave sin.” catholicculture.org/culture/library/dictionary/index.cfm?id=33808

My scruples tended to land between the sleeping and totally awake State. I’d feel like 2 seconds of indulgence was too much, and my memory would be confusing. Was I fully awake yet? Did I linger in bed too much? I didn’t know.

These sorts of thoughts are mental gymnastics are not necessary. You should know if you’re trying to game the system or not. You are rejecting sin even if you give into sin but reject it. You’re gaming the system if you decide on some mathematical calculation of how long you can indulge the sin before you’re required to quit. Morality isn’t a math equation.
 
A doubting conscience is worse than a conscience in error.

To clear the vision of your conscience, you need humility. You need humiity in two ways.

First, you need the humility to accept the fallibility of your conscience. Its important to form our consciences, but its also important to trust and follow our consciences. This means that if our conscience is in error, we are still required to follow it. We have the responsibility to educate our consciences to help us make better decisions in the future, but we need the humility to accept our current ignorances, misunderstandings, etc.

The second way you need humility, is the humility to look at yourself honestly. Scruplocity can also has an element of pride toward the scruplocity. **“I’m not like a dissenter. I’m hard on myself for all these little things. In fact, I’m such a holy person that I’m sort of saint-like in that I’m petrified of committing the smallest sin.” ** False humility may come into play as well. We may tell ourselves we’re not prideful because our internal dialogue toward ourselves involves name-calling and the like.

As such, while the sexual sin may be there, our pride may be so strong that even when we go to confession, we only see the sexual sin. It bothers us only because we want vainglory – rather than a sincere love of God. If that is the case, than you need to spend a greater effort battling against your pride than your sexual sins. In this case, the pride is keeping you from God by robbing you of the ability to a sincere repentance of any of your sins. Instead you confess “just in case.” You confess benign things…as if repentence were a matter of belittling yourself and naming the sin.

As such, should you receive the Eucharist? I’m going to probably tell you the hardest thing. YOU need to make the judgment for yourself. You will probably still have fears of being wrong if you decide to go up, but simply pray to God in the line “Lord I want to please you. This is my judgment. Please help me to grow in humility so that I can accept the fallibility of my conscience.”
In response to the bolded part- is this a mortal sin? I feel like I’ve thought this before and I feel like I just brushed it off. (I am scrupulous, by the way.)
 
In response to the bolded part- is this a mortal sin? I feel like I’ve thought this before and I feel like I just brushed it off. (I am scrupulous, by the way.)
I would say the thought is venial. False humility is a form of pride (otherwise called vain-glory). Pride is one of the seven deadly sins (vices or dispositions we have that lead us to actual sins – that is acts of sin). I’d say it is a sin that leads us to dispair. If we dispair of God’s mercy, we give up. We might stop seeking the sacraments. We may commit suicide. As such, it motivates us to commit other sins and keeps us away from returning to God out of a sense of “I will only come to You once I’m worthy of you.” Since we cannot make ourselves worthy, we thus never come to Him.

Certainly there is the step of going to confession first, but this is because confession requires the humility of acknowledging and admitting our sins. You thus have to the communion line in humility. Its not that you’re declaring that you deserve the Eucharist. You know you’re unworthy and greatful for the gift He’s giving you freely out of His love for you. A person who goes up prior to repentance and that act of a humbling confession, is going up because they believe they deserve it. They believe it is offered as an act of justice. Thus when they hear the Church say “Don’t go up” or hear of a politician being denied, they get outraged. They see it as a judgment to their own worthiness and they hate not being seen as worthy.

I think those of us tempted to scruplocity are more at risk of unnecessarily holding ourselves back from communion (pride in the sense of I MUST be worthy/entitled to it before I go up) than those who go up sinfully (Pride in the sense that I believe myself entitled to it). Maybe that will help you a bit to discern.
 
If you aren’t sure if you committed a mortal sin should you avoid receiving at mass? For example: I sometimes have trouble distinguishing between umpire thoughts and the temptations thereupon. I normally wouldn’t ask but I really want to recieve tonight and I know I have scrupulous tendancies.
In order to commit a mortal sin, three conditions must be met:
  1. It must be a grave matter.
  2. You must know it’s a grave matter (not necessarily agree that it should be a grave matter or understand why it’s a grave matter, just know that it’s a grave matter.)
  3. With full and deliberate consent, you have to do it anyway.
Given that these are the three conditions for mortal sin, one can logically concluded two things:
  1. If you commit a mortal sin, you know it. You know it before you commit it. (condition 3)
  2. You can *never accidently *commit a mortal sin.
If you aren’t sure if what you did was a mortal sin or not, the next time you go to confession, ask your confessor. I highly recommend seeing the same one every time, scrupulous or not, because he will come to know the areas your conscience needs to be formed in and be able to guide you better as he comes to know you better.

As far as receiving, that’s for you to decide, guided by the Holy Spirit.

Kris
 
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